A confident woman is like the sun in a clear blue sky. She radiates energy, light and life. Sometimes, though, clouds can obscure your radiance. If you feel like your confidence is hiding behind dark clouds. It’s time to do a confidence makeover.
In my work as a success coach, I encounter five signs which tell me that a woman needs to do this. Are you showing these signs and if so, what can you do to revamp your confidence? Here are the tips I give my coaching clients.
You’re a nervous public speaker
Low confidence and stage fright go hand-in-hand, but if you want to make it in the professional world you need to conquer your fear of public speaking. Suggestions I give my clients on how to do this include making an effort to speak during meetings and attending a two or three day public speaking training program. Make sure that you find one that includes lots of opportunities to speak and get feedback.
Beating stage fright is all about becoming familiar with being on stage. The more often you’re the centre of attention, the easier it will be for you to move into presenter mode.
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You can’t say ‘no’
Being unable to say ‘no’ is a sure sign that you’re not assertive at work. Women who can’t say ‘no’ find themselves taking on too many duties, attending too many meetings or feeling overloaded by the end of the day. Learning to say ‘no’ means being able to rephrase the simple word ‘no’ into a more socially acceptable, and yet assertive, statement. Find out more in this month’s free podcast 5 Signs You Need a Confidence Makeover.
It often helps to imagine you’re negotiating rather than saying ‘no’. This simple shift in mindset will help you feel in charge of your own destiny. Rehearse saying ‘no’ in simple situations and then you’ll be able to do it in more complex situations.
Parties and networking events fill you with dread
Even the most confident women can feel nervous attending functions or social gatherings. If you have low confidence, socialising is guaranteed to make you feel nervous. Here are some tips which will help you increase your self-assurance:
- Make a list of things you can talk about before you go to a networking event or social function. This will make it easier for you to make small talk
- Offer to help with tasks, like handing out food, which will help you connect with people during the function
Building your social skills takes time. It’s important not to avoid social functions, but to take the time to be with other people, watch successful networkers and learn from your observations.
Perfectionism makes you overwork
It’s great to take pride in your work. However, if you take on a perfectionist mindset, you’ll find yourself overworking. Expecting to do everything perfectly just isn’t reasonable in today’s busy world. So, make a list of priorities at the start of every day. Start the day by doing important tasks, to ensure that smaller tasks don’t eat up all your time. If necessary, call for help. Remember, no one is going to offer to help you if you don’t let them know that you need assistance. Some things really don’t matter. It takes time to learn how to get your priorities right, but putting in the effort will pay off—not only this week and this month, but right through your career.
You say ‘sorry’ all the time
Apologising all the time is a sure sign that you aren’t confident. Not only does it undermine your own mindset, it also sends a clear message to the people around you about your self-image. So it’s important that you ditch the habit once and for all. Only apologise when you actually have done something wrong. In other situations, pause before speaking. Make sure that you start with an assertive statement rather than the word ‘sorry’.
If you’d like more help building your confidence, whether its professionally or personally, you may be interested in my course, Creating Success with NLP. Alternatively, you might want to enrol for some one-on-one coaching with me. You can download a starter pack here.
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About the author of this tip sheet
This tip sheet was created for you by Australian coach and trainer, Eleanor Shakiba. Eleanor’s dedication to women’s development is reflected in her nickname – ‘the glass ceiling smasher.’ Eleanor has been running training and coaching sessions for women in high intellect professions since 1994. She is qualified in Social Anthropology, Applied Psychology, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming.