Boost your positivity ratio today

Want to mend a broken relationship or raise morale in your team? Then you need to boost the positivity ratio of every conversation you have. This is the ratio of positive to negative feelings your trigger in your conversation partner. According to relationship expert, John Gottman, the flourishing relationships have a ratio of 5:1. In other words, for every negative exchange, you need five positive ones.


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So how can you do boost your positivity ratio? Luckily, small behaviours can make a huge difference.

  1. Share positive moments to help you connect with people you have relationships with. For example, turn coffee breaks into opportunities to share success stories.
  2. Reinforce positive emotions by using active constructive responses. In other words, when someone sounds happy, acknowledge it using a reflective statement.
  3. Express gratitude for hard work with an email or a handwritten note.
  4. Greet people with a smile and take the time to follow up on good news your colleagues have shared.
  5. Celebrate achievements and milestones, making sure you recognise both individual and team efforts.
  6. Keep track of your feedback ratio. Make sure you are giving enough complimentary and reinforcing feedback. Aim to keep your feedback ratio at least 3:1 in favour of positives.

By focusing on creating a 5:1 ratio you can build rich and resourceful relationships. These are rewarding in themselves – but they can provide ample benefits to your organisation, as well.

 About the author of this tip:

Eleanor Shakiba is a trusted coach and trainer to thousands of professionals in high intellect fields. Her expertise is in using positive psychology to build high performing leaders and teams. Eleanor works with trainers and HR specialists to build exceptional organisations and teams. She is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She also runs a range of retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators.

 Want training on building effective work relationships? Call Eleanor Shakiba. 0433 126 841