Surprising benefits of saying “I don’t know” at work

Everyone has moments where they feel inadequate. Yet, most people try to hide those feelings under a mask of false confidence. This is called the imposter syndrome and it affects over 70% of the population. A recent article on the topic helps shed light on the causes of imposter syndrome and how to conquer it.

So, what is the key to beating imposter syndrome? First, you need to understand where it comes from. The term imposter syndrome was coined by clinical psychologists Dr. Pauline Clance and Dr. Suzanne Imes in 1978. Dr. Valerie Young expanded upon their research by identifying five types of impostors: the soloist, the perfectionist, the natural genius, the superman/woman, and the expert.

The perfectionist feels as if giving 99% isn’t enough. According to Dr. Young, perfectionists need to understand that perfectionism inhibits success and not everything deserves 100%. The expert feels that they always need to acquire more knowledge. Yet, there is no end to knowledge.

The natural genius assumes that confidence and intelligence are natural traits that you’re born with. They need to realise that nothing is fixed. The soloist only feels competent when they complete tasks without help. However, smart people seek help from those who know more. The superman/woman feels that they must excel at everything instead of slowing down.

 

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All five types of impostors benefit from reframing, which is a common practice in neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). The best way to stop feeling like an impostor is to reframe your thoughts. The next time that you feel inadequate, stop, and imagine how someone with more confidence may feel in that same moment. You can distance yourself from your feelings and reframe them from someone else’s perspective.

Imposter syndrome directly impacts your performance in the workplace. Instead of faking it until you make it, try admitting that you don’t have all the answers. You can say “no” and “I don’t know” occasionally. No one expects you to know everything.

I find that this is an especially important lesson for high achievers, leaders, and other professionals. Letting others know that you don’t know everything makes you more relatable. It can also go a long way toward boosting the confidence of subordinates.

According to Dr. Young, it’s also important to recognise that you can’t eliminate all feelings of inadequacy. Neuro-linguistic programming techniques provide a way to reframe your thinking. With practice, you can learn to normalise your feelings and stop holding yourself to unrealistic standards.

For those who want to act now, I recommend practicing saying “I don’t know.” Feel free to admit when you don’t have a solution. If you want additional tips on how to beat imposter syndrome, I’m ready to help. Take a moment to learn more about my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

 

Surprising ways nostalgia is good for us

Are the toughest challenges in life really within our own minds? This question is a common theme throughout the 10 Ways You’re Stronger Than You Think article from Psychology Today. In this piece, the author examines the power of nostalgia and how it can help people overcome self-doubt and build resilience. It argues that by recalling happy memories and moments of joy, we can tap into personal strengths that have been lying dormant, allowing us to face difficult situations with greater strength and courage.

Exploring what nostalgia is, outlining its definition as a sentimental yearning for the past or feelings of longing for an idealized past. The writer goes on to explain how nostalgia has been proven to be helpful in difficult times, providing a sense of meaning and purpose through remembering pleasant memories.  It highlights the science behind the power of nostalgia, and explains how it can help us build our resilience.

The article also examines the importance of self-affirmation in challenging times, arguing that by recognizing our personal strengths we can better cope with difficult situations. It looks at how we can use affirmations to remind ourselves of our worth and potential.

 

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Managers, business owners and supervisors who often find themselves facing numerous challenges on a daily basis. By using the strategies discussed in this piece, leaders can tap into their hidden reserves of strength in order to better cope with uncertainty or fear during tough times. Additionally, they can draw upon happy memories which will provide them with comfort while helping them remain focused on their goals despite any obstacles they may face along the way.

This empowering program offers guidance on how to use one’s own experiences as fuel for personal growth. It provides tools for building resilience so that individuals can face present struggles with confidence knowing that they have overcome similar hardships before.

In summary, 10 Ways You’re Stronger Than You Think is an inspiring article that explores how nostalgia can give us access to untapped reserves of strength when we need it most. The strategies outlined offer practical advice which is especially useful for managers, business owners and supervisors looking for ways to cope with challenging circumstances while remaining focused on their goals despite any obstacles they may encounter along their journey.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/articles/202203/10-ways-youre-stronger-than-you-think

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

TEMPLATE Confidence Interesting Articles*

INSTRUCTIONS

Use this template for confidence interesting articles.

Copy these instructions into a note on your computer.

Create a new draft from this template. 

Then follow this procedure to set up the post.

1. Check the template settings are correct

  1. The settings for the post have been preset in this template. However, you need to double check them.
  2. Check the Blog2Social Autoposter section in the right hand column of this page.  Confirm that the Autoposter is actived. Make sure enable Auto-Posting is ticked. Check that Facebook and Linkedin is selected under Select network collection.
  3. Check the Publish section of the right hand column on this page. Make sure the status is set to Draft.
  4. set the publication date specified in the content calendar for this article. This is done by clicking on the Edit link under Publish Immediately. Choose the date from the calendar. Do not change the time of publication, which is preset at 1.00. 
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  1. Paste the article title into the title field (above).  Do not type manually. This prevents typos as the source document has been proofed.
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  8. Delete any remaining instructions and the line from the original template setup up.

3. Check the Snippet Preview and scheduled the post.

  1. Check the Snippet Preview field (below) and make sure it looks okay.It should show the post name, Eleanor’s name and the first section of the article.
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PASTE REMAINING SECTION OF ARTICLE HERE

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

Fire up your motivation today

Feeling exhausted and burned out? That can change today. Most people believe that motivation is directly linked to the state of mental energy. They believe that once your body and mind are at their peak physical and mental states, you’re motivated to go through the ups and downs of daily life. But new research shows the opposite. Your brain is as powerful at creating and inducing motivation as it is at turning on and off your motivation. It has as much to do with your emotions and the stories you tell yourself as it does about your level of physical energy.

Whether you’re someone who seeks extra energy or motivation, this simple 2-step guide will help you to reverse a stressful habit and start taking charge of your own life.

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  • Start small. The best way to manage your emotions is to start with something that’s manageable. It’s better to take the small steps that you need to get started than to give up on something big. Choose a small goal today and set about doing it. This will make you feel like you’ve accomplished something – and you’ll build motivation from that point on.
  • Make some changes. Change your exercise routine, increase the amount of exercise you do or try something new, like aerobic exercise. If you have a hard time getting up and going out, plan a morning routine that helps you get out of bed on time.
  • When you are motivated, you tend to be more positive about your future and what you want to achieve. So, power up your motivation today!

    As the author of Beat Imposter Syndrome, I can help you achieve success easily. Find out about my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

    Beat imposter syndrome and lead without fear

    Ever feel like an impostor? You’re not alone. Most people feel unworthy of their success at some point in their careers. Yet, it’s especially harmful to leaders. It impacts everything from employee morale to time management. Luckily, anyone can learn to beat imposter syndrome.

    According to an article published in the Harvard Business Review, imposter syndrome is a common problem for C-suite professionals. Managers and leaders often doubt their abilities and self-worth. Manfred FR Kets de Vries, the author of the article, explains that feelings of self-doubt are less pressing when they come from someone lower on the totem pole. However, when you reach a position with more responsibilities, your insecurities become more visible.

    Fortunately, the article provides three solutions for overcoming the uncertainty associated with imposter syndrome. First, you should strategise vulnerability. This means that you should be willing to fail. Your vulnerability should be open for others to see, as it helps humanise you. The author also recommends greater transparency and open communication among team members.

    The second solution is to promote problem-solving. Encouraging others to solve problems reduces your burden and stress. It’s a form of delegation, which also shows that you believe in the skills and abilities of your staff. This reinforces their confidence, which helps keep imposter syndrome from spreading to your team.

    The third solution is to make questions more commonplace. Ask questions and invite others to ask questions. Questions encourage an environment of learning. You should accept that you don’t have the answers to everything. Be prepared to ask others for help when there is a gap in your knowledge. According to the article, leaders can also use these techniques to address imposter syndrome among their team members.

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    Imposter syndrome is a drain on your self-esteem and confidence. As explained in the article, vulnerability can help leaders feel less as if they are imposters. However, I also find that high achievers struggle to be vulnerable. You don’t want to be perceived as a failure, which comes from a place of fear.

    Recognising that you cannot control what others think is a good first step in dealing with fear. You should also take the time to list your positive abilities and traits. You can use them as anchors to remind yourself of your worth when you feel as if you are an imposter.

    Over 70% of people experience feelings of inadequacy. When these feelings occur in the workplace, you may start to think of yourself as an imposter. As the author of Beat Imposter Syndrome, I can help. Find out about my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

    The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely. Carl Jung

    Everyone is their own worst critic. However, some people let the inner critic get the best of them. Negative self-criticism can have an emotional and physical impact on your well-being. According to advice from Harvard Health Publishing, you’re more likely to suffer from low self-esteem when you can’t accept your capabilities.

    It’s possible to gain self-acceptance and love yourself as you are. First, you should understand the definition of self-acceptance. Srini Pillay, MD defines self-acceptance as your acceptance of all your attributes, including positive and negative attributes. Accepting yourself includes body acceptance and self-protection from negative criticism. Self-acceptance also requires you to believe in your abilities.

    According to Pillay, most people have low self-acceptance. He argues that this typically occurs due to low self-esteem. To boost their self-esteem, people may try to accomplish great tasks. However, this may only offer a short-term benefit. Achievement is a poor replacement for intimacy. The article goes on to explain the consequences of low self-acceptance. If you don’t believe in yourself, you may suffer from additional stress. Excess stress increases your risk of various physical ailments.

    Pillay presents three ways to increase self-acceptance: self-regulation, self-awareness, and self-transcendence. Self-regulation requires you to suppress negative emotions. You suppress the negative emotions by refocusing on the positive features of yourself. You can reframe negative situations to find new opportunities.

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    Self-awareness involves seeing yourself as others see you. Sometimes you need to stop and look at yourself from an outside perspective to see the truth. Self-transcendence involves relying less on external forces to define yourself. Srini Pillay MD also recommends meditation as a path to greater self-acceptance.

    Why does self-acceptance matter? If you can’t accept yourself, others won’t. This is a common worry for those that suffer from imposter syndrome. When you don’t feel worthy of your position, you’re likely to struggle through most projects. One solution is to recognise that no one is perfect. Self-acceptance is about accepting yourself as you are, including traits that you consider negative.

    After over 20 years of confidence coaching, I’ve learned that not all methods work for everyone. However, self-regulation as described in the article is often effective for reframing negative self-criticism. Using positive thoughts to counter negative ones leads to a shift in your thought patterns. It boosts your self-esteem, which makes it easier to accept yourself.

    Of course, accepting yourself is easier said than done. Working with a professional can help ensure you receive the tools needed to finally start loving yourself. Find out how to beat imposter syndrome by checking out my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

    Power up your self-worth with this activity from Virginia Satir

    Society is obsessed with self-esteem, but what about your self-worth? Your self-worth is vital to your overall happiness, confidence, and mental health. Everyone has self-worth, even if they don’t see it. Psychotherapist Virginia Satir explains that your thoughts and interactions with others are largely influenced by your self-worth. She also explains how to boost your self-worth with a simple visualisation activity.

    So, how do you increase your self-worth? A great place to start is with a simple self-esteem-building activity. A recent article on cpydcoalition.org offers the perfect example. It’s an activity featured in Virginia Satir’s article Self-Worth: The Pot Nobody Watches. In this article, she used the metaphor of a pot to represent a person’s self-work. The following activity is based on this idea. As you complete it, you’ll create three separate pots that you fill with negative and positive messages.

    First, you need to create a pot of ‘pot drainers. The pot drainers include negative messages. Fill this pot with the self-critical messages that make you feel bad about yourself. This typically includes messages from the inner critic during moments of self-doubt.

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    The second pot includes ‘pot cleansers’. The pot cleansers are positive messages and thoughts. Think of the things that you like about yourself. Pot cleansers help cleanse the negative thoughts from the previous pot. You can use the positive messages to reframe the negative messages. Balancing these two pots helps transform your outlook on life.

    The third pot includes ‘pot fillers.’ The pot fillers are positive messages sent to you from others and yourself. Filling this third pot with compliments and recognition of your skills, abilities, and positive traits. When your first two pots are balanced and your third pot is full, you’re likely to experience more positivity in your life.

    If you’re a high achiever looking to build greater confidence and broaden your horizons, I highly recommend using Satir’s visualisation activity. Your confidence is linked to your sense of self-worth. If you don’t believe in your skills and abilities, it’s difficult to build confidence. The visualisation activity makes it easier to analyse your self-worth. Combating your negative messages with positive ones reshapes your perception of yourself.

    Visualisation activities also give you the tools for boosting confidence in critical situations. You can use your ‘pot cleanser’ pot to replace negative feelings as they occur. You also alter your thought patterns related to how you think others perceive you. Filling your ‘pot fillers’ with positive messages from others provides anchors for maintaining confidence.

    One of the main points of Virginia Satir’s visualisation activity is the importance of self-worth. It’s tied to your self-confidence. For best results, I recommend repeating the activity frequently. If you want to explore additional techniques to beat imposter syndrome, I can help. Learn more about my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

    Switch On Your Confident Mind Today

    Are destructive thoughts keeping you from achieving your goals? If you’re like most people, you may worry about responsibilities or what other people think of you. These thoughts can destroy confidence and leave you feeling helpless. With the right steps, you can learn to switch on your confident mind.

    A recent article on Psychology Today from Joel Minden PhD offers several effective tips for building more confidence. The suggestions include the use of evidence-based cognitive and behavioural strategies. You can use any of these techniques to keep your mind from playing tricks on you. First, Minden suggests that you restructure exaggerations. This works best when you tend to overstate the negative aspects of your experiences.

    For example, if you tend to assume the worst, you’re exaggerating the situation. Restructuring exaggerations requires you to pay attention to your negative thoughts. When a negative thought arises, question it. Try to provide evidence for and against your negative thoughts. You may also want to try evaluating the situation from someone else’s perspective. After analysing your negative thoughts, you’re more likely to see things more realistically.

    Restructuring exaggerations doesn’t work for every situation. Sometimes you simply need to solve a problem. If something isn’t going as planned, ask yourself how you can fix it. If you can’t fix it yourself, ask for help from someone with the skills or knowledge that you lack. If you assume that the problem isn’t solvable, you may need to try restructuring your exaggerated thinking again.

     

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    The third recommendation is to accept what you cannot change. You need to accept the outcome of the situation and move on. Minden explains in the article that practicing acceptance helps you control thoughts that you don’t like. Read the original article here.

    If you’re a high-achieving professional, you’ll likely benefit from the techniques discussed in the article. Restructuring exaggerations is a great tool for dealing with imposter syndrome. It helps you recognise when you’re not looking at an issue realistically, such as when you’re being overly self-critical.

    Accepting that you can’t control everything is another important realisation for leaders and C-level professionals. Accepting what you cannot change helps limit anxieties and insecurities. You learn to rely more on others instead of assuming that you need to fix everything yourself.

    These are just a few examples of how to boost confidence and beat imposter syndrome. As the article explains, you need to practice these techniques to notice positive results. So, why not start now? Taking the time to focus on your confidence can prepare you for a brighter future. To learn more about how to build confidence, explore my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

    Small Rewards (Like Chocolate) Can Anchor Confidence

    Need confidence? Give yourself a chocolate. You’ve probably heard about the benefits of rewards for motivation. A new breakthrough in neuroscience suggests that rewards can also boost confidence. Giving yourself a small reward can train the brain to feel more confident.

    A group of researchers published their findings from a recent study on using rewards to manipulate the brain. The researchers wanted to determine if self-confidence can be amplified directly in the brain. They explain that self-confidence is an essential quality to succeed in the modern world. Self-confidence may also help decrease the risk of mental illnesses, such as Alzheimer’s disease and depression.

    To complete the study, the researchers developed a unique method for reading and amplifying the brain. The method is called ‘decoded neurofeedback’. It involves mapping specific patterns in the brain linked to an individual’s feelings of confidence. The researchers used this technique to scan the brain and determine whether a participant is experiencing a high or low confidence state.

    Participants were unaware of the nature of the study. They were instructed to perform a simple perceptual task. When a high confidence state was detected, the researchers gave the participant a small monetary reward. At the end of the training session, participants were asked to rate their confidence in completing the task. Participants were consistently more confident after receiving the rewards.

     

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    Researchers could also reverse the effects. By withholding rewards, they could lower the confidence of the participant. They essentially proved that it’s possible to train the brain to be more confident or less confident with a simple reward system. Keep in mind that the study was limited in scope. The study involved just 17 volunteers. However, it’s in line with the results of similar studies. Read the original article here.

    Research shows that a reward system helps drive motivation. It can also boost your confidence. If you’re an ambitious professional, your confidence influences career ambitions. Low self-confidence tends to lead to a feeling of inadequacy. You may start to feel unworthy of your job title. We call this imposter syndrome.

    Giving yourself small rewards may offer a boost of confidence, but it may not be enough to beat imposter syndrome. To build authentic confidence, you need to get to the root of your insecurities. One solution is to reframe negative thought patterns using the latest neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) techniques.

    So, should you start rewarding yourself to increase your confidence? It’s a good start, but you should also explore additional confidence-building methods. For example, a reward may not train the brain to overcome major fears and insecurities. To explore other techniques for a more confident mind, learn about my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

    6 Ways to Think About Time… And How They Impact Your Confidence

    Does your constant planning keep you from getting anything done in the present? Does your frequent worrying about the past keep you from trying new things? These are examples of how your perspective of time can impact your confidence. Thanks to research published on PsychologyToday.com, you can now gain a better perspective.

    Everyone has a different perspective when it comes to the passage of time. Some people are more worried about the past while others focus on the future. According to Rosemary KM Sword and Philip Zimbardo PhD, these differences impact every aspect of your life.

    The authors categorise people based on their time perspective. Someone who is ‘past negative’ tends to focus on negative events or thoughts from the past. This may include traumatic events or moments of failure. The negative thoughts tend to keep them from seeing a brighter future.

    Someone who is ‘present fatalistic’ is rooted in the present but believes that they’ve got no control over their environment. As with past negative people, present fatalistic people tend to suffer from low self-esteem. They struggle to see their own self-worth. The authors also describe ‘extreme future’ people. This group includes people that are too busy planning to enjoy the present. All three of the time perspectives discussed can limit your opportunities.

    So, what’s the best time perspective? The authors argue that the best perspective is balanced. When your time perspective is balanced, you can use your imagination in exciting new ways. You spend less time dwelling on negative thoughts from the past and fears of the future.

     

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    The authors used their theories to help treat war veterans suffering from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). However, balancing your time perspective is beneficial for everyone. Read the original article here.

    Whether you’re more focused on the past, present, or future, your time perspective may be holding you back. As mentioned in the article, the best perspective is a balanced one. The authors of the article also offer a few examples of how to balance your perspective. If you’re stuck in the past, you need to replace your negative memories with positive ones.

    If you’re stuck in the present and feel that you’ve got no control over anything, you may also start to feel like an imposter. Try practicing more self-compassion. Give yourself the freedom to enjoy fun activities and accept yourself for how you are. Several of these suggestions align with common neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) techniques.

    Changing the way you think about the past, present, and future could hold the key to your happiness. Your time perspective largely influences your confidence. If you want to learn more about how to beat imposter syndrome, explore my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.