Category: HR AND TRAINING TIPS

Reading about how to do something isn’t the same as doing something. If you want to learn to fish, you need to master the use of a fishing pole. The same concept can be applied to corporate training. Smart facilitators don’t tell people how to do things. They use experiential learning techniques to foster skill development.

The idea behind experiential learning is that people learn best by doing. Instead of listening to a lecture, they learn by trying things out, taking action or reflecting on past experiences. Your job, as the group leader, is to ensure that positive learning emerges (even when individuals experience setbacks, challenges or ‘failures’). This is why having a grounding in positive psychology training techniques will help you use experiential learning methods with better results.

Internships are an example of experiential learning. Interns develop their skills by observing the work of experienced individuals in their fields. They also have the chance to apply their skills and knowledge under supervision. Experiential learning in a business setting offers the same benefits.

David Kolb is credited with developing an easy-to-apply model of experiential learning. He defined four components of experiential learning, all of which align well with positive psychology techniques.

• Concrete experience
• Reflective observation
• Abstract conceptualisation
• Active experimentation

What does this mean for your work as a facilitator or training? To use experiential learning techniques, you need to provide opportunities for learners need to be actively involved. Then you need to help them reflect on their experiences and develop ‘wisdom’ and understanding. Finally, you need to encourage learners to develop plans for building on their knowledge and continuing to reflect on their results. Repeating the cycle allows individuals to continue growing and developing.

Here are some techniques that trigger experiential learning:

• Role play
• Real play (in which learners share a story and re-enact it)
• Simulation
• Action learning projects
• Review-and-reflect written activities

Are you keen to start using experiential learning techniques? Great idea! They can be used in a huge range of contexts. Start by mastering these four skills, without which activities are simply space-fillers in a training session.

1. Activity design
2. Framing and briefing
3. Feedback and coaching
4. Debriefing

Yes, learning to facilitate experiential activities does take time. However, it’s time worth investing. Ultimately it will lead to faster, more sustained learning. It’s also a useful way to begin building critical thinking skills in your learners. It allows them to use their existing skills and knowledge, which promotes confidence. It also encourages people to explore new concepts and solutions, boosting problem-solving skills.

Want to master experiential learning techniques? Enrol in a trainers’ master class with Eleanor Shakiba today.

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a specialist in positive psychology training. Her core strength is creativity, which she expresses in the training room through storytelling and visual design. She has dedicated her career to helping experienced professionals break through glass ceilings by developing their confidence, communication skills and leadership mastery. Eleanor is qualified in a range of fields including Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She is also the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. This is a free resource for trainers and facilitators.

I’ve been using NLP training techniques since 1995. They’re still my favourite techniques because they are versatile, engaging and effective. Some trainers define NLP as ‘the difference that makes the difference’. I like that definition because NLP has impacted my own training style in many positive ways.

So what makes it so special? Basically, NLP codifies the skills associated with excellent performance. It gives you ‘recipes’ for doing things well. In training contexts, for example, you can use these recipes to:

• Use language patterns that help people learn
• Tell great stories
• Move with purpose and impact on stage
• Structure each section of your session to enhance unconscious learning

This list is just a starting point. In my trainers’ retreats I cover 20 NLP techniques. My favourite, though, is stage anchoring. It is versatile and fun.

In NLP, anchoring involves deliberately creating a connection between a stimulus and a response. It’s a great way to influence the way your audience responds to different types of content. For example, if I’m working with a potentially hostile audience, I record their objections or complaints on a whiteboard. Then I cross to the other side of the room and stand in front of a strategically placed flipchart. I ask the group to suggest solutions to all their ‘problems’. The ideas are recorded on the flipchart, which is then stuck on the wall. Next, I wipe the whiteboard clear of complaints and move centre stage to wrap up.

This sequence of movements looks ‘spontaneous’ but is carefully staged to anchor the key stages of solution focused thinking. The group soon picks up the habit of being positive and solution oriented whenever I stand in front of the flipchart: which is exactly what I want. This is just one way that anchoring can be used to influence group dynamics and enhance learning. I love experimenting with anchors and I am sure you will, too.

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor specialises in positive psychology and NLP. She works with HR and L&D teams create vibrant organisational cultures, by delivering training that makes a difference. Eleanor’s qualifications include degrees and diplomas in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. Her passion is fostering the success of ‘positive deviants’ in the workplace. Download a copy of Eleanor’s free ebook Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners .

Want learners to acquire skills that stick? It’s time to add action learning components to your training. Action learning is a highly practical form of experiential learning. It involves completing a project, action or task and then reflecting on results. During action learning, your group participants question their actions and learn from their mistakes. This encourages them to develop their problem-solving abilities. More importantly, it builds skills that will last over time.

Action learning has evolved over the years. It has become one of the most effective corporate training models. The concept was first developed in the 1940s by Reginald Evans. During his training as a physicist, Evans paid attention to the habits of his most successful peers. He noted that group interaction between scientists promoted learning and boosted creativity. Scientists who shared ideas and reflected on each other’s work were more likely to succeed. Based on his observations, Evans developed an action learning formula.

The basic formula consists of learning, programming, and questioning. However, many organisations have adapted the formula to suit the corporate world. In organisations, action learning starts with identifying a problem. The group then assesses the problem and suggests actions. After acting, the group reflects on the outcome with an action coach.

To facilitate action learning, you need to guide your group participants through 4 key steps.

1. Identifying a real problem
2. Designing possible solutions
3. Taking action
4. Reflecting on the outcome

Action learning is typically used to resolve urgent or significant problems. This increases learner motivation and encourages people to take immediate action. What’s your role in this as a trainer? To prompt learners to identify meaningful issues to work on. Next, you need to help them design possible ways to address their issue/s. Make sure they have concrete action plans in place.

Step three (taking action) is the most important part of action learning. Learners return to their workplaces and implement their projects or action plans. You, as their support person, coach as this happens. When projects are completed, the learning cohort should meet. Your role at this stage is to guide reflection and learning. Try giving learners templates and questions to keep this stage of action learning on track.

Action learning works best when it’s guided by a skilled facilitator. It’s a tried and tested technique that promotes greater collaboration. To make it work for your organisation, remember to encourage people to assess problems together instead of individually. Share solutions and ask open questions.

Want to boost your training and facilitation skills? Enrol in a trainers’ master class with Eleanor Shakiba today.

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a positive psychology trainer. She designs bespoke programs for organisations and individuals who want to promote ‘positive deviance’ in business. Her expertise in teaching social and emotional intelligence skills makes Eleanor a highly sought-after facilitator. Eleanor’s qualifications are in Positive Psychology, Social Anthropology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners.

In 2006, I had a good job. It was stable, interesting and ‘permanent’. I had long service leave accrued, a network of inspiring colleagues and prospects of promotion. Yet I wanted something more. I craved opportunities to be more creative and to build something exceptional. I was working with a range of external consultants and I began to wish I could be like them.

However, fear and self-doubt held me back. At first, I didn’t even take the idea of setting up my own busines seriously. Fortunately, I had a very wise coach. I’d been working with him for around 6 months. My coaching program began because of staffing problems in my day job. As it evolved, I began exploring the meaning and purpose of my work.

I clearly remember expressing my self-doubt to my coach. “I’d love to set up my own business, but it’s too risky,” I said.

I’d said those words many times before. In conversations with friends and family, they’d usually been met with agreement. Of course, this reinforced my self-doubt and reduced my confidence. By the time I made this statement to my coach, I fully believed that being in business was a risky business. Everything changed when my coach gave me an unexpected response.

“What are you imagining will happen if you set up a business?” he asked.

That made me pause. I’d never fully articulated what I was frightened of. However, it didn’t take me long to list a long set of potential catastrophes that could befall a training consultant. These ranged from being introverted to find clients, through to defaulting on my mortgage and ending up homeless. I think even my coach was surprised at the vivid representation of disaster that I could conjure up. (Yes. There is a downside to combining creativity and anxiety). Then he asked a question that changed the course of my life. “Has it ever occurred to you to imagine that everything might turn out all right?” he queried.

That was an ‘aha’ moment. My entire physiology changed as I realised, I never had taken time to imagine a bright future. My natural inclination for pessimism and creativity had biased my thinking. At that time, I wasn’t aware of the brain’s negativity bias. Nor did I understand that anyone can learn to challenge pessimistic thinking and shift into learned optimism mode. Thus, my coach’s question had a huge impact. It not only solved the problem at hand, it changed the way I faced future fears.

From that moment, I was able to envision a hopeful and inspiring future. My coach encouraged me to express the ideal future I would like to experience. I imagined a dynamic, vibrant lifestyle. Days spent helping talented people overcoming blocks and barriers to success. Having time to taking on creative projects. Living my passion for inspiring excellence. Most importantly, being in charge of my own destiny.

Three months after that session, I left my day job. I stepped full time into the business I’d inadvertently already been running for the past three years. Yes, I encountered setbacks and challenges. I now realise that’s a normal part of life, not simply a part of running a business.

However, that single question has remained my mantra whenever I hit tough times. I still have an ingrained tendency for pessimistic thinking. That’s probably what makes me such a good positive psychology trainer. I genuinely ‘get’ anyone who suffers low confidence or low self-esteem. And I see it as my life’s work to inspire others to tap into the potential of the human capacity for hope and optimism. That’s why I teach positive psychology. And it is also why I’ll always find a way to stay in business despite self-doubt.

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a consultant in the areas of positive psychology training and solution focused coaching. She partners with HR and L&D teams to build vibrant cultures where ‘positive deviants’ thrive. Areas she specialises in include positive mindset, proactive communication and purposeful leadership. Eleanor is qualified in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. Her passion is working with positive deviants to build success. Download a copy of her free ebook Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners.

The terms ‘consensus’ and ‘consensus-building’ are buzzwords. Like all buzzwords, they are thrown around confidently by people who don‘t fully understand their meanings. This reduces the effectiveness of meetings and leads to poor decision making. So what is consensus and how can leaders, facilitators and HR practitioners help groups reach it? 

Consensus is a point of maximum agreement. The word maximum is important. Reaching consensus does not mean that everyone in the group fully agrees to the conclusion reached. However, when consensus has been reached, everyone knows their contribution has been taken seriously. Great facilitators and group leaders build consensus by using constructive framing and groupwork techniques. Here are a few pointers on how you can do this.  

Set an agree to agree frame 

Framing skills are a hallmark of master facilitators. In decision-making contexts, framing involves setting boundaries and norms for a conversation. A simple way to begin a consensus building conversation is to say “To get the most this conversation, let’s agree on how will work together. Our aim is to create a decision about… Is everyone committed to reaching an agreement?” 

Define the issue to be resolved or decided 

Write the core topic of conversation on a whiteboard, in full view of each member of the group. This is a way of keeping people focused on the central issue throughout the conversation. It is important to frame the core issue in a way that leaves options open. If information is missing, take time to make sure all relevant material is available. It may be necessary to break the discussion into parts, clarifying the issues one section at a time. 

Ask exploratory questions 

Encourage the group to work slowly. For consensus to happen, new perspectives may need to be taken. Asking exploratory questions helps everybody to reflect on their own mindset. This is a gentle way of loosening up thinking before seeking solutions. 

Probe for options 

Use solution focussed questions and creative thinking tools to generate new ideas. Remind people that at this point the group is simply developing ideas: none of these are being committed to at present. Some of the ideas may seem too far-fetched. However, these ideas might lead to new ways of thinking and problem-solving.  

Combine options 

When ideas have been flying around a room, combining elements from different proposals often reveals a workable solution. It creates common ground. At this point, focus on selecting the best options and pulling them together. Do not suggest crossing unworkable options off the list. This can prompt conflict and distract the group.  

Test for agreement 

Once the group seems to have a workable plan, test for agreement. Write the proposed action plan up. Allow space for people to voice reservations and make changes. This will help everyone feel heard and generate true consensus. 

When led by a skilled group leader, consensus-building is a dynamic and inspiring process. Choose the right person to run your group, by selecting a facilitator who: 

• Is experienced leading active constructive conversations 
• Has a firm grasp of conflict resolution techniques 
• Understands experiential learning processes 
• Knows how to frame, reframe and lead solution focussed discussions 
• Is skilled in applying positive psychology techniques 

About the author of this article: 

Eleanor Shakiba is a master trainer and coach. She specialises in teaching smart people to use positive psychology and breakthrough communication techniques. Eleanor loves working with people who make a positive difference to the world – including facilitators, trainers and HR practitioners. She is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She also runs a range of retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators. 

We’ve all had upset customers or received feedback tinged by emotions. But sometimes we encounter a ‘rant’ evaluation or review that seems out of proportion. This style of feedback is lengthy and hostile. It often presents long lists of ‘evidence’ that a specific staff member is in the wrong. Its tone is outraged and retaliatory. This is not normal feedback – and my argument is that it should therefore be handled with care.  

Excessive anger such as that expressed in a ‘rant’ can be sign of narcissistic rage. This is intense form of anger. It is triggered when someone with narcissistic personality disorder experiences a situation that shatters their illusions of entitlement and superiority. For example, fellow participants in a course arguing with the narcissist or a trainer taking all participants’ needs into account when setting break times.  

When this happens, the narcissist is flooded with feelings of inadequacy, shame and vulnerability – which they don’t know how to regulate. The result is simmering rage. And the ideal time to express this rage is when the online feedback form arrives. Signs that feedback is being written by an individual in the grip of narcissistic rage include: 

• The tone of a complaint being out-of-proportion to the issue 
• A lengthy, hostile review standing out as the only negative evaluation received for the session 
• The writer referring to the facilitator by their job title rather than name. For example ‘The trainer…’ 
• Excessive use of generalisations, such as ‘Everybody agreed that the whole course was a waste of time’ 
• Name-calling or insults aimed at the facilitator 
• Personal comments about the trainer’s weight, appearance or clothing 

Anyone who has been the target of this type of feedback knows how upsetting it can be. Trainers often have no recourse when ranting reviews are posted about them. They are being named and shamed. They are being given no right of response. No dispute resolution process is being used. And this places frontline team members at risk of psychological harm.  

So what can HR and training managers do to reduce this risk? 

Include trainer feedback as part of your standard evaluation process 

It makes sense to gather feedback from your trainers on every session they run. Obviously, this allows you to track the logistical problems that can impact learner experiences.  It also enables trainers to alert you to any group dynamic or behavioural issues which emerge in their groups.  

Document your issue-management process 

Work with your training team to develop a transparent and fair response process. Consider including the following elements.  

• A clearly defined procedure for comparing the perceptions of the complainant with those of other participants in the session 
• Steps for separating key issues from inappropriate or attacking statements 
• Guidelines for deciding when issues require follow up with the trainer 
• Steps for debriefing and supporting trainers when they have been publicly shamed 

Redesign your participant evaluation form 

Good evaluation forms are structured in ways that elicit constructive, behavioural feedback. Does your evaluation form include the following elements? 

• Guidelines on feedback etiquette. For example, ‘Business Name values respectful communication. Uncivil or attacking statements will not be accepted as feedback. Please help us improve by framing your feedback constructively and focusing on behaviours we can change.’ 
• Word limits on text fields. This is a great way to ensure writers focus on core issues, rather than using your evaluation form to vent their rage 
• Information about your processes for following up complaints and compliments 

Develop templates for responding to hostile or unreasonable feedback 

Involve your facilitators in wording these. This is a great way to demonstrate your commitment to supporting your team when managing complaints. For example, your templates might include a statement such as “Mike is an experienced facilitator who consistently receives positive reviews.” You might also put negative feedback in context using the sentence “I have followed up on the issues you have raised, both with other group members and with the trainer. Their feedback has been….” 

Debrief trainers who have been exposed to narcissistic rage 

Even experienced facilitators can take highly critical comments to heart. Training managers can play an important role in helping them recover from narcissistic attacks. Simple steps you can take include: 

• Expressing empathy and enquiring about how a participant’s feedback has impacted them 
• Normalising the experience and explaining that the feedback seems to be driven by strong emotions 
• Explicitly acknowledging the ratio of positive to negative feedback the trainer has received 
• Explaining the complaint management process 
• Engaging in a dialogue about follow up action 

Remember that feedback should always be a constructive process. Well designed evaluation processes support both your team and your customers. Small changes to your system can make a huge difference to the learning of your team.  

About the author of this article: 

Eleanor is a master trainer and facilitator. She specialises in positive psychology, helping leaders and HR practitioners build flourishing organisations. She is known as a creative, dynamic facilitator with a flair for helping ‘positive deviants’ excel at work. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She runs a range of practitioner retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators. 

Anyone who has been in the training room with a participant who ‘over shares’ knows that self-disclosure can go too far. There’s a big difference between reflecting (a vital part of learning) and ruminating. Rumination involves obsessively focusing on negative events, without resolving or learning from them.  

Rumination blocks learning. When a group participant recounts an experience in graphic detail, they become stuck in the ‘what’ of their experience. This means they don’t progress to the most important part of experiential learning: examining the question ‘what did I learn from this?’ 

Signs that someone is stuck in storytelling, rather than progressing to learning include: 

• Going into excessive detail about an experience, event or interaction 
• Repeating the same tale multiple times during a session 
• Failure to notice the reactions of other group members – who will quickly start to shuffle or look bored when too much information is shared  
• Strong displays of emotions such as anger, frustration or learned helplessness 
• Sharing of traumatic experiences without concern for the psychological wellbeing of other group members 

Masterful facilitators and positive psychology trainers know how to disrupt the negative dynamic rumination can create. Indeed, the ability to shift group members from rumination to learning is a hallmark of a great practitioner. Here are some of the tactics you’ll see master trainers using to prompt a progression from tale-telling to learning.  

Great trainers set learning frames at the start of their sessions 

They explain the process of adult learning and how to get the most from group discussions. This involves sharing a process for reflective conversation – a good example is the ‘what…so what…now what?’ frame. In workshops that are likely to spark high emotions – for example conflict management sessions – great trainers explain “this is training, not group therapy”. This enables them to gracefully move conversations into learning mode when participants over-share.  

They balance group safety with individual safety 

Responsible trainers are aware of the dynamics of vicarious trauma. Listening to one person’s traumatic experience can cause immense distress to other group members. Experienced facilitators frame their activities carefully to prevent this. For example, “In this activity you will share examples of times you overcame a problem. Please avoid sharing stories of extreme distress or trauma, as your fellow group members are not qualified to handle these. Focus on examples of problems caused by inconvenience or disruption but have no ongoing impact on your life now.” 

 Wise trainers refer to appropriate sources of help 

 Sometimes participants bring their emotional or psychological problems into the training room. Experienced trainers know the signs of emotional distress and respond empathically. Where necessary, they refer participants to appropriate assistance. This can include HR practitioners, conflict coaches, mediators, counsellors or the organisation’s employee assistance program.  

Experiential training methods are powerful triggers for learning. When led by skilled practitioners, they bring out the best in people. The next time you’re looking for someone to run a training or teambuilding session, ask them how they handle over-sharing in the group. Their answer will tell you how successfully they will help individuals turn knowledge into wisdom.  

About the author of this article: 

Eleanor Shakiba is a trusted coach and trainer to thousands of professionals in high intellect fields. Her expertise is in using positive psychology to build high performing leaders and teams. Eleanor works with trainers and HR specialists to build exceptional organisations and teams. She is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She also runs a range of retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators.

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity. Resilient people respond resourcefully to organisational change, challenging work assignments and short-term conflicts. However, even the most resilient of us also need reasonable workloads, supportive relationships and positive environments. Sending your team to resilience training won’t resolve systemic issues which are creating unreasonable, ongoing levels of pressure on your people. These include issues such as: 

• Unreasonable workloads (time management training won’t fix this problem, either) 
• Inappropriate staffing levels 
• Bullying cultures, chronic team conflict or toxic team dynamics 
• Chaotic work environments characterised by lack of goals, priorities, systems and procedures 

Each of these issues creates stress because it places your employees in an ‘unfixable’ situation.  

This reduces resilience, because it depletes self-efficacy (the individual’s ability to take charge of their own destiny). Indeed, people who remain in unresolvable situations are likely to develop the thinking patterns associated with learned helplessness. At best they give up and disengage. At worst, their mental health is negatively impacted. Training in learned optimism or resilient thinking techniques might help people cope in the short term. However, the causes of workplace stress also need to be addressed.  

The bottom line is this. When the pressure is on, resilience training should only be one part of your employee wellbeing strategy. Other options to consider include:  

1. Clearly articulating the purpose and mission of your business. There is clear evidence from positive psychology research that meaning and purpose are critical to resilience. They give your people a reason to engage – and with engagement comes improved psychological wellbeing 
2. Reviewing and redesigning work processes, systems and procedures 
3. Updating position descriptions and clearly defining workloads for each team member 
4. Programming regular coaching conversations between supervisors and individual team members 
5. Addressing team dynamics problems through interventions such as team-building, mediation or performance management 
6. Referring individuals to appropriate external support services, such as coaching or counselling 

Once these measures have been implemented, training your people in learned optimism and resilience techniques will be helpful. A good resilience workshop will cover topics such as:  

• Emotion regulation 
• Learned optimism 
• Disputing negative thoughts 
• Solution focused thinking 
• Hope theory 
• Growth mindset and reflective thinking 

Find out more about resilience in my video What is Resilience? 

About the author of this article: 

Eleanor is a master trainer and coach. She trains savvy professionals in a range of sectors – including higher education, health, finance and local government – in the use of positive psychology tools and techniques. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She runs specialist training for facilitators and trainers, as well as delivering customised training for corporate teams. 

Does that women in leadership workshop really address the needs of female leaders? Or is it simply a standard leadership course with a new name?  The distinction is important. Adding assertiveness modules to a leadership program doesn’t transform it into an effective women in leadership program? Nor does adding few inspirational speeches by ‘female role models’.   

So, what makes a robust, well-designed workshop for female leaders? At a minimum, it is grounded in relevant research. And it covers practical strategies for handling three hot issues which confront women as they push the frontiers of leadership. 

The ‘double bind’ dynamic 

When a female leader receives two conflicting messages about how she should behave, she encounters a paralysing double bind. For example, competent leaders are expected to behave decisively. Yet when women do this, they are perceived as pushy. There are many paradoxical situations which catch female leaders in a double bind. Yet few women in leadership programs address this dynamic.  

Gendered communication 

There is abundant evidence that gender influences communication habits. In the past, women have been encouraged to shift their communication styles in order to ‘be heard’ more effectively. Today, however, this approach is being questioned. An effective women in leadership workshop acknowledges this. It provides participants with a range of options for reshaping communication dynamics: at personal, team and organisational levels.  

Systemic pushback 

Organisational culture is disrupted when women enter senior leadership roles. Cultures are social systems – and when social systems are disrupted, pushback occurs. Peter Senger refers to this dynamic as the ‘system reasserting itself’. What does this mean for female leaders? That they are likely to encounter a range of problems as they attempt to lead. These include: 

1. Mobbing by subordinates 
2. Vexatious complaints of bullying 
3. Attempts to undermine their credibility in public forums 
4. Poor support from senior leaders when issues are reported 
5. Insufficient female mentors and role models to provide guidance on navigating cultural pushback 

Tips on handling all of these issues should be included in any workshop for female leaders. Additionally, participants should be provided with one-to-one support as part of their women in leadership program.   

Women are entering the leadership arena in greater numbers than ever before. Thriving in this space requires political acumen, resilience and the ability to drive change despite systemic pushback. Make sure your next women in leadership program contains evidence-based content in all of these areas.  

About the author of this article: 

Eleanor Shakiba is a specialist in positive psychology training. She has helped over 50,000 professionals to build confidence, presence and influence at work. Her passion is working with the ‘positive deviants’ in organisations – equipping them to think creatively and build a better world. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She also runs a range of retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators. 

Values incongruence happens when a person or group’s values are at odds with what they are expected to do. In organisations, it often emerges when a gap between ‘what we say and what we really do’ appears. This can significantly undermine performance, create conflict and reduce work efficiency.  

Because values incongruence often happens beneath conscious awareness, it can be difficult to detect and address. Learning to spot, call out and address values incongruence can help your people align their efforts with what truly matters to the business.   

Here’s an example.  “We love your authenticity,” said my client. “Your style fits our values: dynamic, empowered and real. That’s why we want you to run our leadership workshops.”  

I designed a dynamic, empowered and real session. I ran the pilot program, which was a huge success. We set dates for the full program. Then requests for small changes to the delivery style began. Most of these clashed with the espoused values of my client, as well as the core values of my business. For example, the client said “Here’s a script our team can use to be authentic. Tell them they have to use it when they run performance reviews.” This concept clashed with the client’s focus on being real. It also jarred with the model of active constructive conversation we were teaching in the workshop.  

A second request posed a similar problem. The client proposed reducing a full day workshop to half a day by cutting out activities. Meanwhile, they still wanted a dynamic, interactive session, where participants actively applied what they were learning.  I was in a tricky situation. I needed to challenge the client’s incongruence, whilst preserving a good relationship.  I met with her and said, “You chose me to run this program because my authenticity aligned with your values. Do you still want the sessions to be dynamic, empowered and real?”  

The client nodded. 

“I’m concerned that using a script doesn’t help people be real. What can we do about that?” 

“Hmm…okay take the script out.” 

“Great. I’m also wondering how to deliver a dynamic, hands-on session if we take all the activities out. Do you have any ideas about how we could achieve that?” 

“Can’t you just lecture?” 

“Yes. I can even do that dynamically. But how do we get the hands-on element happening?” 

“Oh right. Yes, we do need it to be hands-on. Let’s stick to a full day” 

After the next workshop, the client thanked me for pointing out the incongruence. She said that leaders in the business needed to learn how to do that, too. She was right. Many leaders fail to speak up when behaviours clash with organisational values or goals. Often, they don’t notice the misalignment between what is being done and what is valued. Even when they do, they lack the skills required to address conflict.  

HR and L&D practitioners can play an important role in addressing this situation. Here are five practical steps you can take to foster values alignment in your business. 

1. Keep your values front-of-mind. Paint them on walls. Build artworks and display them in your foyer. Print them at the top of every meeting agenda.  
2. Teach leaders to ask, “how does this decision support our values?” before committing to action.  
3. Create a problem-solving template and distribute it to all teams in the business. Include prompts to consider values when generating and selecting solutions. 
4. Introduce a regular values check process. Every three months, ask each team to identify something in their work that is inconsistent with the organisation’s core values. Don’t stop there, though. Ask them to propose ways of overcoming the incongruence.  
5. Focus on positive deviance. Search out areas of the business where excellent values alignment exists. Promote these success stories by writing case studies for your internal newsletters. Then include them as examples in training programs and conducting site tours to havens of best practice.  

About the author of this article: 

Eleanor Shakiba is trainer for professionals in high intellect fields. Her expertise is in using positive psychology to build high performing leaders and teams. Eleanor works with trainers and HR specialists to build exceptional organisations and people. She is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She also runs a range of retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators.