How high is your self-esteem?

Do you treat yourself with compassion and nurturing care? Or are you too hard on yourself? Your answer links back to your self-esteem

Self-esteem is your confidence in your own worth, and the value you place on yourself. In the 1950s, Carl Rogers developed a model of self-esteem that is useful to this day. He said that self-esteem measures how much the person you want to be (your ideal self) aligns with who you believe you are (self-image).

So, how well does your ideal self-align with your self-image? Let’s find out. Here are four behaviours that indicate you have appropriate levels of self-esteem.

Communicating your needs

To thrive at work and in your personal relationships, you need to express what matters to you. This means learning to explain your boundaries, ask for help and speak up when things go wrong.

Saying no assertively

One of the most empowering things you can learn to do is to establish boundaries in your relationships. Learn how to say no calmly and confidently. If you need help with this, read Eleanor Shakiba’s book Difficult People Made Easy, or come to one of her live training programs.

Recognising and accepting your strengths

A strength is something that you’re good at. It energises and excites you. When you know what you’re good at and you do it often, you’re bolstering your self-esteem.

Putting negative experiences into perspective

When life is turbulent, it is sometimes easy to let negativity blow out of proportion. We take situations personally when we shouldn’t. When you make an effort to see experiences objectively, you can better navigate difficult situations.

Your self-esteem is important because it heavily influences the choices and decisions you make. Self-esteem makes it more or less likely that you will take care of yourself and explore your full potential. Make sure the ‘voices in your head’ are making you feel good about yourself.

About the author of this article

Eleanor Shakiba is a trainer with expertise in positive psychology. Since 1994, Eleanor has been teaching talented people – like you – how to think, communicate and behave in ways that build success. Find out how Eleanor can help you and your team.