Resilience is about bouncing FORWARDS, not back

It’s often said that resilience is about bouncing back from adversity and hardship. But that isn’t the full picture. Smart leaders know this. So do resilient problem-solvers. They recognise that resilience isn’t about bouncing back to the good old times. It’s about bouncing into the future with optimism, hope and a solution-focused mind. For example, did you know that the most resilient leaders don’t ask ‘Why did adversity happen’?’ Instead, they ask ‘How would I like the future to turn out?’

How do you get your mind to think like this?

Psychologists recommend using a process called Positive Future Casting. Despite the fancy name, this is a very easy-to-learn technique. It simply involves imagining the future turning out well. The trick is to get really specific about the details you include in this ‘mental rehearsal’. Make them as vivid as possible. This fools your brain into thinking your imagined future is happening now – which immediately reduces stress.

Three reasons smart leaders future cast

Positive Future Casting has impressive long-term benefits. It prompts your brain to grow new neurological pathways. Those pathways help you think, learn and take action in new ways. Of course, future casting also  fires up your resilience and optimism, which makes you a better leader. In fact, Positive Future Casting is the fastest way I know to switch off stress, power up motivation and boost your mental stamina.

 

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Positive Future Casting is very easy to do. If you can daydream, you can future cast. Here are some ways you can get started.

  • Reading Martin Seligman’s book Learned Optimism
  • Working with coach or mentor
  • Enrolling in an NLP course that teaches Future Pacing techniques
  • Googling solution focused thinking techniques, so you can try them out for yourself

The next time you – or your team – encounter tough times, remember this simple fact. Resilience is involves bouncing forwards, not backwards. True resilience helps you create something better than before – including a better version of yourself!

This article was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer and success coach. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.  Since discovering her passion for training and development, Eleanor has trained more than 60,000 people. She delivers face-to-face workshops for corporates, online masterclasses for leaders and Positive Psychology retreats for trainers, HR practitioners and leaders. 

Think you have everything under control? Your mind might be playing tricks on you

So, you think that you’ve got it all figured out? Think again. It’s likely you’re dealing with a cognitive distortion. The truth is that no one has everything under control or knows all the answers. Most people have a mental bias. It leads you to overestimate or underestimate how much you can influence your environment.

You may believe that you can control everything or fear that you control nothing. This mental bias is called the ‘fallacy of control’. It’s a cognitive distortion, which means an incorrect way of processing information. A recent article on exploringyourmind.com offers more insight. According to the article, when you misinterpret reality, you make inaccurate judgments.

For example, if you think that you control everything, you may fail to recognise your limitations. People with this mental bias tend to be perfectionists. When something becomes out of your control, you may experience feelings of fear or rejection. The causes of this fallacy of control vary. Some of the potential factors include fear of delegating tasks and having an anxious personality. You may also be too much of a perfectionist or have deep-rooted beliefs that things depend on your actions.

The fallacy of control works both ways. Instead of feeling in control of everything, some people feel that they have no control. You may feel that you don’t have the power to change anything in your life. If this sounds like you, you may also suffer from low self-esteem and confidence.

The lack of control can increase your anxieties. This often occurs due to low self-esteem or feelings of learned helplessness. You may also feel that you lack control due to personal insecurities. According to the authors of the article, comparing your ideas with a reliable source of information can help combat mental bias.

The fallacy of control affects everyone differently. Whether you feel in control of everything or nothing, your mental bias may limit your success and professional opportunities. If you’re always in control, a moment that you can’t control may disrupt your routine. This leaves you feeling as if you are an imposter. If you’re never in control, you may already feel like an imposter.

Imposter syndrome is something that most professionals deal with at some point. When you realise that you don’t have everything under control, you may start to doubt your abilities. This makes it difficult to overcome challenges and explore new opportunities. Your confidence is also likely to suffer.

So, how can you control the fallacy of control? Start questioning your way of thinking. Don’t make assumptions. Evaluating your thoughts with a critical eye can help limit your mental bias and beat imposter syndrome. If you want to learn more about reframing your thought process, take a moment to explore my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au

 

 

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Are your high standards a sign of imposter syndrome?

Imposter syndrome means always striving for perfection, but never feeling satisfied you’re doing a good enough job. It’s a sneaking sense of self-doubt. Second-guessing every decision. Wanting to be confident, but not knowing where to start. Yes. Imposter syndrome is a habit. Constantly worrying that you’re not good enough. Feeling like it’s only a matter of time until people realise you you’re a fraud. Eleanor Shakiba is an NLP coach and trainer who understands imposter syndrome. She’s been helping high achievers beat it for over 20- years. In this video Eleanor explains why high standards are often connected to low confidence. Then she shares tips for reversing the self-doubt that drives imposter syndrome. It all comes down to  making small changes to your thinking and behaviour. Learn to stop over-thinking, overworking and overachieving  – and tap into the power of authentic, deep level confidence.

 

 

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High impact leaders don’t blend in

This video comes with a free ebook, Beat Imposter Syndrome. Get your copy here. https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au/beat-imposter-syndrome-ebook-2/  Chameleon Syndrome is a thinking pattern that makes you want to blend in – and prevents you powering up your career. Find out what Chameleon Syndrome is. Be inspired by the story of Alice Stewart, whose refusal to blend in ended a dangerous medical trend that was putting the lives of unborn children at risk. Her story is one of endurance and persistence – and a great example for anyone suffering Chameleon Syndrome.

 

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Boost your optimism today

Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Can optimism be learned? According to this article, the answer is yes. Here are seven tips to increase your optimism and why it’s important.

In short, optimism makes you happier and healthier. It helps you bounce back from setbacks, makes you more resilient, and increases your productivity. It also makes you more attractive to others – both personally and professionally.

So how can you become more optimistic?

1) Be mindful of your thoughts – pay attention to the language you use when thinking about yourself and others. For example, instead of thinking “I’m so stupid,” reframe that thought to “I made a mistake.”

2) Practice gratitude – be thankful for what you have, both big and small. This includes being grateful for the good moments as well as the bad moments, because they all make us who we are.

3) Take care of yourself – eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, exercise regularly, and take time for yourself. All of these things help boost your mood and increase your resilience.

4) Challenge yourself – set goals for yourself and push yourself to achieve them. This will help you feel more in control of your life and increase your sense of accomplishment.

5) Connect with others – social support is crucial for happiness and wellbeing. Reach out to your friends and family members, join a supportive online community, or seek out a therapist or life coach if you need extra support.

 

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6) Look on the bright side – when something bad happens, try to find a silver lining. This may not be easy at first, but with practice it becomes easier. And eventually, looking on the bright side will become second nature to you.

7) Stay positive – above all else, remember to stay positive! Positivity breeds positivity, so keep your mind focused on the good things in life.”

So why should managers, business owners and supervisors care about being optimists? Optimists are more successful than pessimists because they:

  • Tend to have better mental and physical health
  • Have better relationships
  • Are more creative
  • Are more productive
  • Make better decisions
  • Are less stressed
  • Are less likely to give up in the face of failure

If you’re a manager, business owner or supervisor, it’s important to be an optimist because it will make you a more successful leader. Positivity breeds success so if you want your team to be successful, you need to be positive yourself.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/optimism/7-tips-to-increase-your-optimism-why-its-important/

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

 

Set limits with difficult people

Tired of letting others control your behaviour? You need to read Difficult People Made Easy by Eleanor Shakiba. It’s your ultimate guide for solving your biggest people problems. Receive practical advice for dealing with any workplace situation. Learn to deal with pushy, controlling, and toxic people. You’ll find out how to boost your confidence using tried-and-tested NLP techniques.

The step-by-step instructions ensure that anyone can be confident in the workplace. Difficult People Made Easy is a comprehensive resource for high-achieving professionals. Order your copy today to embark on a new, confident chapter in your career.

Https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au/difficult-people-made-easy-book/#.Yc5pSmhBx2Y

Mental stamina coaching for leaders

Leadership roles are often mentally draining. The challenges that you deal with may leave you fatigued. If you’re struggling to cope with stress, personalised coaching can help. Specialised mental stamina coaching teaches you how to change your negative thinking patterns.

Learn how to deal with situations that tend to leave you mentally exhausted or overstressed. You gain strategies for staying focused, motivated, and confident. Find out how coaching can prepare you for success. Book a free discovery call with Eleanor Shakiba today.

Https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au/coaching-packages/#.Yc5osmhBx2Y

The ONE thing stopping you making a difference

Have you ever been scared to speak out in a meeting or to express a different opinion to everyone else? Do you shudder at the thought of being called a show off? Or do you overthink everything you say to your boss? If so, then you may be suffering from Chameleon Syndrome. This is a pattern of thinking that encourages you to blend in, but not in a good way. It stops you making a difference and becoming a high-impact leader.

Why do so many talented people develop Chameleon Syndrome?

Chameleon Syndrome  is a toxic need to blend in. It stems from a deep, unconscious fear of rejection – which often started during a talented child’s earliest years.  Why? Because talented youngsters are often taught to blend in. Think about it. As a child, were you told not to draw attention to yourself? Were you teased for being different or for speaking up? Did teachers or parents tell you to stop showing off? If so, you were being taught to blend into the background and stay out of the limelight.

The result? Chameleon Syndrome. It’s a defence mechanism – a natural reaction to being shamed or humiliated by people who should be protecting you. Unfortunately, when you step into a leadership role it is also a big problem. Chameleon Syndrome prevents you from standing out and creating the impact you know is possible. It prompts you to play it safe – hiding your true self in situations where your talents need to stand out.

The good news is that Chameleon Syndrome can be overcome. Here are some simple ways to start.

Remember that you are in the room for a reason

You are expected to make an impact and offer something unique. So don’t stay silent. If you’re nervous about speaking out, take an assertiveness course or book some success coaching sessions. This fear can be conquered!

 

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Drive your own brain

As you know, I’m a big advocate of NLP. This is because it is a powerful tool for personal change. Learning NLP

will help you to control your thoughts and regulate your fear. It is also a great tool for building confidence and self-assurance. If you want to be leader who makes a difference, NLP will help you unleash the power of you.

Trust your intuition and talent

Finally, always listen to your inner voice. It will speak up when you least expect it. When it does, act on what it tells you to do. After all, leaders who make a difference are the leaders who take action. So don’t let Chameleon Syndrome stop you making a difference. You have the talent and the drive to make a real impact – so go out there and use it!

This article was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer and success coach. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.  Since discovering her passion for training and development, Eleanor has trained more than 60,000 people. She delivers face-to-face workshops for corporates, online masterclasses for leaders and Positive Psychology retreats for trainers, HR practitioners and leaders. 

 

 

 

Beware: the 6 credibility killers that hold leaders back

How do you build and maintain credibility as a leader? In order to be a credible leader, you need to be authentic, passionate, knowledgeable, consistent, humble and strategic. Let’s take a closer look at each of these tips.

  1. Be authentic: People can see through inauthenticity, so it’s important to be genuine in your interactions with others. Wear your heart on your sleeve and let your true personality show. This will make you more likable and trustworthy.
  2. Be passionate: When you’re truly passionate about something, it shows. Share your enthusiasm for your work with others and let them see the dedication that you have to your goals. This will inspire them to want to work with you and help you achieve your objectives.
  3. Be knowledgeable: It’s important to know what you’re talking about if you want people to take you seriously. Be sure to do your research and have a firm understanding of the topics that you’re discussing. If you don’t know something, say so and admit when you don’t have all the answers.
  4. Be consistent: People need stability in their lives and they appreciate consistency in their leaders. Be reliable and predictable in your actions so that people can count on you to follow through on what you say.
  5. Be humble: No one likes a bossy boots, so remember to keep your ego in check. Modesty is key when it comes to being a credible leader. Let your accomplishments speak for themselves and avoid taking all the credit for yourself.
  6. Be strategic: Plans are only successful if they are executed well, so it’s important to be thoughtful and deliberate when making decisions. Take the time to consider all of the possible outcomes before making a move and make sure that your actions are aligned with your goals

 

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So how can you make sure that you are seen as credible? One key is to be honest and authentic in your actions and communications. Don’t try to be someone you’re not; people will see through that quickly. Stay true to your values and beliefs, and let your actions reflect them. It’s also important to be consistent in your behaviour; if you say one thing but do another, people will lose faith in you.

You can also build credibility by being helpful. Offer your knowledge and expertise freely, and be willing to help others achieve their goals. And finally, don’t be arrogant or self-important. Remember that you’re not the only one who can lead; there is always room for improvement. humility is a key trait of successful leaders.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.forbes.com/sites/brentgleeson/2016/07/08/6-tips-for-building-and-maintaining-credibility-as-a-leader/?sh=4d3b0c8d3424

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

 

No. Being in control DOESN’T fix imposter syndrome

Feeling like you’re a fraud and not good enough is a common problem, but it’s one that can overcome. When a talented professional feels like an imposter, it’s easy to get stuck in a vicious cycle of perfectionism and over-working. That cycle is fed by flawed thinking. For example, believing that if your work is always 120% perfect, then you’ll be deserve a promotion. But thinking this way doesn’t solve confidence problems – it just creates an imposter mindset. In this video, Eleanor Shakiba explains how to break the cycle and start generating real confidence. Learn how to use Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) to build confidence quickly and solidly, so you can thrive in life and work.

 

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