By Eleanor Shakiba Impact tips 0 Comments

Lead with HOPE – not goals – in tough times

In Year 8, my friend Gavin and I wrote a science fiction play about a group of ‘old people’ living through a world-wide plague. We had a huge fight over the plot. I thought it didn’t matter if everyone died because they were all 50 (ancient) anyway. Gavin wanted to show that hope would save the human race. Even in his early teens, Gavin knew that resilience and optimistic ‘future casting’ are closely connected. I explore this link further in this month’s video.

 

These days, I realise Gavin has been proved right. There are numerous studies showing hope plays a crucial role in human survival, particularly during chaotic times. When you think hopefully, you’re optimising on your mind’s ability to ‘time travel’ and imagine things turning out well. That boosts your creativity and increases your behavioural flexibility. Plus, it decreases your stress levels. All of which makes you a better leader.

 

Presently, many wise leaders are using the power of hope to revive team mojo and motivation. No! They’re not setting gruelling KPIs or cracking productivity whips. Instead, they’re helping people envision positive futures. They’re focusing on culture-building, mission-building and – my favourite leadership tool of all – storytelling.

 

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The fact is – the human brain loves stories. As Gavin argued in Year 8, audiences watch plays because they want them to end well. In the same way, teams work hard because they want their projects to go well. Great playwrights weave hope through every drama. As I explained in my recent blog post [link to blog] on fostering hope and resilience in teams, great leaders do the same.

 

It turns out my friend Gavin became a great leader, inspiring many young people to live with hope and impact. But did he and I weave hope into our play’s ending? Well, sort of (after all, I can be stubborn). We compromised and wrote an ambiguous closing scene. As the sun sank dramatically offstage, the plague survivors cooked up a ‘final cure’ for the ‘final plague’. In 2022, I only hope the positive reading of that scene is the one that plays out in real life

 

 

By Eleanor Shakiba Impact Interesting Articles 0 Comments

How to use daydreaming to your advantage

People often think of daydreaming as a waste of mental resources. It turns out, letting your mind drift off can lead to profound benefits. Research suggests that your brain continues processing complex information as you daydream. It may even give you a clearer picture of what to do to overcome a problem in your personal or professional life.

Parents and teachers have scolded children for daydreaming for generations. However, daydreaming has an unfair reputation. A new study from the University of British Columbia found that brains are more active during a daydream than previously thought. The study found that brain activity continues in areas of the brain when your mind wanders.

Your brain is comprised of different regions that are responsible for different mental activities. For example, certain areas of the brain are responsible for complex problem-solving. Experts believed that these areas of the brain went dormant when you daydream. The latest research shows the opposite. These areas of the brain remain highly active during daydreaming.

The study involved placing subjects in an fMRI scanner. The subjects performed a simple task while researchers tracked their brain activity. The authors of the study point out that we spend up to a third of our waking lives daydreaming. They believe that this is an important cognitive state. Daydreaming may help you sort through your concerns and anxieties. You continue to use the brain’s “executive network” when your mind wanders. This executive network is used when solving complicated problems.

 

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If you struggle to find a solution to a complex problem, try letting your mind wander. The researchers also suggest switching to a simpler task. Performing a simple, mundane task can provide enough of a distraction to help your mind drift off. You can read more about the research from the University of British Columbia here.

So, the next time that you’re stumped, shut your mind off. Let yourself daydream. Letting your mind wander may help you find the solution you need. Unfortunately, daydreaming doesn’t come easy for everyone. If stress and anxiety keep your mind too busy to relax, try using NLP techniques. NLP and positive psychology offer several methods that promote relaxation and increased mental stamina. You can increase your resilience to negativity, making it easier to shut off your mind and daydream.

A common practice is mindfulness. This involves being fully present and aware of your surroundings and thoughts. Learning to override negativity with positivity is another area where NLP can help. NLP techniques such as cognitive reframing using NLP anchors help you recognise and challenge negative thoughts as they enter your mind. Instead of dwelling on the sources of your stress and anxiety, you can keep a clear mind.

Researchers from the University of British Columbia have shown that your brain remains active when you daydream, but what if you can’t relax your mind? Learn more about NLP for relaxation, stress relief, and anxiety relief with help from an experienced confidence coach. Explore my one-to-one coaching services and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au/

By Eleanor Shakiba Impact Interesting Articles 0 Comments

3 ways of thriving in adversity

Adversity is part of life, especially when trying to climb to the top of the corporate ladder. When faced with adversity, people either fail, survive, recover, or thrive. Successful leaders strive to thrive. So, what does it take to thrive? According to the results of numerous studies, you need a combination of traits to truly flourish when facing hardships.

Do you ever feel like you’re stuck in a rut? If so, you may need more resilience. Researchers recently reviewed decades’ worth of research into resilience theory and the impact of resilience on leaders. They found that resilience is needed to continue succeeding in difficult times. Yet, they also found that some people do more than just succeed – they thrive.

Thriving is your ability to grow and change in meaningful ways after a difficult experience. For example, most people are simply happy to overcome hardship. Simply surviving the hardship allows you to continue but in an impaired state. Recovering from a hardship sends you back to your baseline, which means that no progress has been made. To thrive, you also need to learn from the hardship.

Researchers also reviewed the work of Patterson and Kelleher, which identifies three sources for building the resilience capacity to thrive. The three sources include personal values, efficacy, and energy. Your values shape how you respond to difficult situations. Optimists hold out hope for a solution while pessimists worry that they may never find a solution.

 

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You also need to believe in yourself, which is where personal efficacy comes in. It’s your confidence in your capacity to succeed. Low self-efficacy keeps you from believing in your ability to grow and change. The third component for dealing with adversity is energy, which includes your mental stamina. A lack of mental stamina limits your drive and determination. When faced with adversity, you may look for the easiest solution. Successful leaders have the mental energy to continue looking for the best possible outcome. You can read more about the review of resilience studies here.

Research shows that stress impacts your leadership skills. Studies also suggest that learning to manage stress increases resilience. Developing the right mindset can help you thrive during difficult times instead of simply surviving or recovering. As a confidence coach, I’ve seen the benefits of resiliency training. Anyone can develop the coping skills needed to lead more effectively. Resiliency requires a combination of self-esteem, optimism, adaptability, and other essential traits. NLP can help you focus on these variables.

NLP offers a variety of exercises for increased resilience and mental stamina. The power of positive psychology can help change the way you look at difficult situations. You can learn to maintain your composure under duress and lower your fear of failure to boost your decision-making abilities.

If you want to explore more ways to deal with adversity, I’d love to help. As the researchers point out, resiliency can make you a better leader. Confidence training offers a solution for building greater resiliency. To learn more, explore my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au/

By Eleanor Shakiba Impact tips 0 Comments

3 signs your ‘positive attitude’ is REDUCING your resilience

Two years of chaos have created a tsunami of burnout that’s wiping out the motivation of high achievers. You see, ambitious people are tough. They fight adversity. They focus on positives. In calm times this strategy pays off because it leads to effort being rewarded. During turbulent times, though, it leads to exhaustion. Why? Because in tough times, your ‘positive attitude’ can easily become toxic positivity. As I explain in this month’s video, this is particularly the case if you rely on ‘will-power’ alone to drive your success.

The fact is, it takes energy to maintain a positive mindset. But how do you keep your energy high during tough times? The answer is simple. Know the difference between useful optimism and toxic positivity. Constructive optimism is like a fighter jet on an important mission. It’s focused and heading towards a clear target. Toxic positivity, though, is like a fighter jet with a damaged navigation system. It’s burning up fuel and travelling at high speed – but it has no guidance and no safe place to land. If you’re someone who believes in focusing on the positive, but you’ve recently been feeling worn out and dispirited, you may have strayed into the zone of toxic positivity. Here are three signs this is the case and that you need a new way to cope with life’s ups and downs.

 

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Sign 1: Finding the ‘upside’ seems to take more and more effort

When your resilience is high, it’s easy to focus on the positives. When your mental stamina drops, though, it’s easier to see the negatives. After all, your brain is hard-wired to notice potential threats. Plus, a tired brain is less able to focus on the positive possibilities. This means it becomes much harder to find the ‘upside’ to challenges and negative experiences. When this happens, you need to build your support system. You should NOT keep pushing yourself to think positively or to go it alone.

 

Sign 2: You are staying in a ‘great job’ that doesn’t inspire you

Just because you’ve been promoted or have a job with a great many perks, that doesn’t mean it’s the right job for you. It’s easy to be swayed by the opinions of your friends and family. But if you don’t find your job rewarding, it might be time for a change. This is particularly true if you’ve been promoted beyond your zone of happiness.

For example, many talented professionals regret taking promotions into management roles. Why? Because the higher they climb on the leadership ladder, the less they get to do the ‘hands-on’ work of their profession. Toxic positivity keeps people in this sad place. True positivity gives them the strength to find new roles that align with their passion and purpose.

 

Sign 3: You have recovered from a bad experience, but you are still not thriving

There’s a huge difference between simply getting over a problem and being resilient. Indeed, a defining characteristic of resilience is that it leads to growth and re-energisation. If you’ve moved past a negative event and are still low in mojo and energy, it’s time to shift your attention away from the past and towards an inspiring future. See my recent article 3 Ways of Thriving in Adversity for suggestions about how to do this.

By Eleanor Shakiba Confidence interesting articles 0 Comments

Switch On Your Confident Mind Today

Are destructive thoughts keeping you from achieving your goals? If you’re like most people, you may worry about responsibilities or what other people think of you. These thoughts can destroy confidence and leave you feeling helpless. With the right steps, you can learn to switch on your confident mind.

A recent article on Psychology Today from Joel Minden PhD offers several effective tips for building more confidence. The suggestions include the use of evidence-based cognitive and behavioural strategies. You can use any of these techniques to keep your mind from playing tricks on you. First, Minden suggests that you restructure exaggerations. This works best when you tend to overstate the negative aspects of your experiences.

For example, if you tend to assume the worst, you’re exaggerating the situation. Restructuring exaggerations requires you to pay attention to your negative thoughts. When a negative thought arises, question it. Try to provide evidence for and against your negative thoughts. You may also want to try evaluating the situation from someone else’s perspective. After analysing your negative thoughts, you’re more likely to see things more realistically.

Restructuring exaggerations doesn’t work for every situation. Sometimes you simply need to solve a problem. If something isn’t going as planned, ask yourself how you can fix it. If you can’t fix it yourself, ask for help from someone with the skills or knowledge that you lack. If you assume that the problem isn’t solvable, you may need to try restructuring your exaggerated thinking again.

 

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The third recommendation is to accept what you cannot change. You need to accept the outcome of the situation and move on. Minden explains in the article that practicing acceptance helps you control thoughts that you don’t like. Read the original article here.

If you’re a high-achieving professional, you’ll likely benefit from the techniques discussed in the article. Restructuring exaggerations is a great tool for dealing with imposter syndrome. It helps you recognise when you’re not looking at an issue realistically, such as when you’re being overly self-critical.

Accepting that you can’t control everything is another important realisation for leaders and C-level professionals. Accepting what you cannot change helps limit anxieties and insecurities. You learn to rely more on others instead of assuming that you need to fix everything yourself.

These are just a few examples of how to boost confidence and beat imposter syndrome. As the article explains, you need to practice these techniques to notice positive results. So, why not start now? Taking the time to focus on your confidence can prepare you for a brighter future. To learn more about how to build confidence, explore my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

By Eleanor Shakiba Confidence interesting articles 0 Comments

Small Rewards (Like Chocolate) Can Anchor Confidence

Need confidence? Give yourself a chocolate. You’ve probably heard about the benefits of rewards for motivation. A new breakthrough in neuroscience suggests that rewards can also boost confidence. Giving yourself a small reward can train the brain to feel more confident.

A group of researchers published their findings from a recent study on using rewards to manipulate the brain. The researchers wanted to determine if self-confidence can be amplified directly in the brain. They explain that self-confidence is an essential quality to succeed in the modern world. Self-confidence may also help decrease the risk of mental illnesses, such as Alzheimer’s disease and depression.

To complete the study, the researchers developed a unique method for reading and amplifying the brain. The method is called ‘decoded neurofeedback’. It involves mapping specific patterns in the brain linked to an individual’s feelings of confidence. The researchers used this technique to scan the brain and determine whether a participant is experiencing a high or low confidence state.

Participants were unaware of the nature of the study. They were instructed to perform a simple perceptual task. When a high confidence state was detected, the researchers gave the participant a small monetary reward. At the end of the training session, participants were asked to rate their confidence in completing the task. Participants were consistently more confident after receiving the rewards.

 

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Researchers could also reverse the effects. By withholding rewards, they could lower the confidence of the participant. They essentially proved that it’s possible to train the brain to be more confident or less confident with a simple reward system. Keep in mind that the study was limited in scope. The study involved just 17 volunteers. However, it’s in line with the results of similar studies. Read the original article here.

Research shows that a reward system helps drive motivation. It can also boost your confidence. If you’re an ambitious professional, your confidence influences career ambitions. Low self-confidence tends to lead to a feeling of inadequacy. You may start to feel unworthy of your job title. We call this imposter syndrome.

Giving yourself small rewards may offer a boost of confidence, but it may not be enough to beat imposter syndrome. To build authentic confidence, you need to get to the root of your insecurities. One solution is to reframe negative thought patterns using the latest neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) techniques.

So, should you start rewarding yourself to increase your confidence? It’s a good start, but you should also explore additional confidence-building methods. For example, a reward may not train the brain to overcome major fears and insecurities. To explore other techniques for a more confident mind, learn about my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

By Eleanor Shakiba Confidence tips 0 Comments

Beating the dark triad of imposter syndrome

Imposter syndrome is particularly difficult to beat because it distorts your mental processing in such pervasive and paradoxical ways. It’s driven by a frustrating double bind where the very patterns of thinking and behaviour that so subtly erode your self-esteem also reap significant rewards.

I call these patterns the Dark Triad of imposter syndrome. What are they?

 

  1. Overthinking

Your mind is constantly busy, engineering solutions to problems and coming up with impressive new ideas. Sure, you’re not sleeping much these days, but everyone knows you’re the brains behind the team’s success. What makes this pattern so addictive is the buzz of finding that answer or having that ‘ah ha’ moment.

 

  1. Over-planning

You’re exhausted from working excessive hours but addicted to delivering amazing results. You resent carrying the burden of planning and coordinating everyone else’s work but breathe a sigh of relief when your efforts stave off disaster (or at least prevent missing the deadline). Your schedule is so packed with back-to-back meetings that bathroom breaks aren’t an option. But your busy schedule and reputation as the most productive team member feed your addiction to being busy.

 

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  1. Over working

This is the most obvious sign of imposter syndrome. It usually sets in early when a child learns that hard work at school leads to praise, attention, prizes and rewards. Sadly, this creates a dysfunctional feedback loop. The child equates hard work with social validation, and the vicious cycle of imposter syndrome begins.

Are these patterns familiar to you? If so, it may be time to address your imposter syndrome. The good news is the dark triad can be beaten: Thousands of high achievers have managed to develop authentic confidence. You can do it, too.

By Eleanor Shakiba Confidence interesting articles 0 Comments

6 Ways to Think About Time… And How They Impact Your Confidence

Does your constant planning keep you from getting anything done in the present? Does your frequent worrying about the past keep you from trying new things? These are examples of how your perspective of time can impact your confidence. Thanks to research published on PsychologyToday.com, you can now gain a better perspective.

Everyone has a different perspective when it comes to the passage of time. Some people are more worried about the past while others focus on the future. According to Rosemary KM Sword and Philip Zimbardo PhD, these differences impact every aspect of your life.

The authors categorise people based on their time perspective. Someone who is ‘past negative’ tends to focus on negative events or thoughts from the past. This may include traumatic events or moments of failure. The negative thoughts tend to keep them from seeing a brighter future.

Someone who is ‘present fatalistic’ is rooted in the present but believes that they’ve got no control over their environment. As with past negative people, present fatalistic people tend to suffer from low self-esteem. They struggle to see their own self-worth. The authors also describe ‘extreme future’ people. This group includes people that are too busy planning to enjoy the present. All three of the time perspectives discussed can limit your opportunities.

So, what’s the best time perspective? The authors argue that the best perspective is balanced. When your time perspective is balanced, you can use your imagination in exciting new ways. You spend less time dwelling on negative thoughts from the past and fears of the future.

 

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The authors used their theories to help treat war veterans suffering from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). However, balancing your time perspective is beneficial for everyone. Read the original article here.

Whether you’re more focused on the past, present, or future, your time perspective may be holding you back. As mentioned in the article, the best perspective is a balanced one. The authors of the article also offer a few examples of how to balance your perspective. If you’re stuck in the past, you need to replace your negative memories with positive ones.

If you’re stuck in the present and feel that you’ve got no control over anything, you may also start to feel like an imposter. Try practicing more self-compassion. Give yourself the freedom to enjoy fun activities and accept yourself for how you are. Several of these suggestions align with common neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) techniques.

Changing the way you think about the past, present, and future could hold the key to your happiness. Your time perspective largely influences your confidence. If you want to learn more about how to beat imposter syndrome, explore my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

By Eleanor Shakiba Credibility interesting articles 0 Comments

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This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

 

By Eleanor Shakiba Confidence interesting articles 0 Comments

Fire up your motivation today

Feeling exhausted and burned out? That can change today. Most people believe that motivation is directly linked to the state of mental energy. They believe that once your body and mind are at their peak physical and mental states, you’re motivated to go through the ups and downs of daily life. But new research shows the opposite. Your brain is as powerful at creating and inducing motivation as it is at turning on and off your motivation.

It has as much to do with your emotions and the stories you tell yourself as it does about your level of physical energy.

 

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Whether you’re someone who seeks extra energy or motivation, this simple 2-step guide will help you to reverse a stressful habit and start taking charge of your own life.

  1. Start small. The best way to manage your emotions is to start with something that’s manageable. It’s better to take the small steps that you need to get started than to give up on something big. Choose a small goal today and set about doing it. This will make you feel like you’ve accomplished something – and you’ll build motivation from that point on.
  2. Make some changes. Change your exercise routine, increase the amount of exercise you do or try something new, like aerobic exercise. If you have a hard time getting up and going out, plan a morning routine that helps you get out of bed on time.

When you are motivated, you tend to be more positive about your future and what you want to achieve. So, power up your motivation today!

As the author of Beat Imposter Syndrome, I can help you achieve success easily. Find out about my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.