By Eleanor Shakiba Credibility interesting articles 0 Comments

TEMPLATE Credibility Interesting Articles*

INSTRUCTIONS

Make sure you are logged in as Eleanor before you start.

Only use this template for Credibility  Interesting Articles.

Duplicate this template. Then delete these instructions (everything in italics) from the draft post. Do not delete image or signup form from the bottom of the page. There is a line at the bottom of the section you are deleting. 

Then follow this procedure to set up the post.

1. Check the template settings are correct

  1. The settings for the post have been preset in this template. However, you need to double check them.
  2. Check the Blog2Social Autoposter section in the right hand column of this page.  Confirm that the Autoposter is actived. Make sure enable Auto-Posting is ticked. Check that Facebook and Linkedin is selected under Select network collection.
  3. Check the Publish section of the right hand column on this page. Make sure the status is set to Draft.
  4. set the publication date specified in the content calendar for this article. This is done by clicking on the Edit link under Publish Immediately. Choose the date from the calendar. Do not change the time of publication, which is preset at 1.00. 
  5. Click OK to ensure the change of date has been processed. Check this visually.
  6. Check that the category section (on the right hand column of this page) is set to Credibility Interesting Articles.
  7. Check the featured image shows the standard image for Credibility Interesting Articles.

2. Prepare the source document and paste the content into WordPress. 

  1. Paste the article title into the title field (above).  Do not type manually. This prevents typos as the source document has been proofed.
  2. Remove any extra paragraph markers from the source document in word. To do this, do a find and replace search.  In the replace screen (in Word) choose ‘special’ and then select ‘paragraph’. Replace it with nothing (ie leave the replace field empty).
  3. Paste the top 1/3 of the article above the converkit signup bar in this template.
  4. Make sure bold sections in the source document are bold in wordpress.
  5. Check that there are NO extra lines between paragraphs. There should only be one line dividing paragraphs.
  6. Paste the remaining article content (including author bio) between the signup bar and the Eleanor bio bar. Make sure bold sections in the source document are bold in wordpress.

3. Save the post

  1. Save the post and then schedule it.
  2. Go to the Publish section of the right hand column on this page.
  3. Click the Preview button and make sure the post looks OK. Check author bio and signup form sections are in the correct spots
  4. Then click on the Schedule button in the Publish menu (this will replace the Publish button when you have correctly set up a date for publication)

—————————————————————————————————-

PASTE FIRST 1/3 OF ARTICLE HERE

 

Free e-book and video tips.

Get your copy today!
Name(Required)


PASTE REMAINING SECTION OF ARTICLE HERE

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

 

By Eleanor Shakiba Confidence interesting articles 0 Comments

Fire up your motivation today

Feeling exhausted and burned out? That can change today. Most people believe that motivation is directly linked to the state of mental energy. They believe that once your body and mind are at their peak physical and mental states, you’re motivated to go through the ups and downs of daily life. But new research shows the opposite. Your brain is as powerful at creating and inducing motivation as it is at turning on and off your motivation.

It has as much to do with your emotions and the stories you tell yourself as it does about your level of physical energy.

 

Subscribe to our mailing list and receive fortnightly tips and videos:

 

Whether you’re someone who seeks extra energy or motivation, this simple 2-step guide will help you to reverse a stressful habit and start taking charge of your own life.

  1. Start small. The best way to manage your emotions is to start with something that’s manageable. It’s better to take the small steps that you need to get started than to give up on something big. Choose a small goal today and set about doing it. This will make you feel like you’ve accomplished something – and you’ll build motivation from that point on.
  2. Make some changes. Change your exercise routine, increase the amount of exercise you do or try something new, like aerobic exercise. If you have a hard time getting up and going out, plan a morning routine that helps you get out of bed on time.

When you are motivated, you tend to be more positive about your future and what you want to achieve. So, power up your motivation today!

As the author of Beat Imposter Syndrome, I can help you achieve success easily. Find out about my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

By Eleanor Shakiba Confidence tips 0 Comments

Getting up early to ‘put yourself first’? Bad idea!

So many female leaders tell me they get up early so they can fit in their ‘me time’ every day. These women speak as though waking at 4 a.m. is a self-care choice underpinned by assertiveness and confidence. But let’s think about that. How does regularly depriving yourself of sleep equate to self-care? Is working excessive hours every day a sign of assertiveness? Does a confident leader arrive at work frazzled and stressed by her gruelling morning routine?

To all these questions, let’s yell a resounding ‘no’. Let’s end imposter thinking and ‘nice girl’ behaviour. Let’s enter the zone of truly confident leadership. Here are three ways female leaders can do this (if you’re male, pass these tips on to the women in your business).

Stop faking work–life balance 

Successful leaders are congruent. They don’t pretend – to themselves or others – that they’re super organised. They don’t burn themselves out trying to juggle 12 hours of work, an hour of exercise, three hours of housework and five hours of time with their loved ones every day. Women who are self-assured in their leadership roles know that the idea of ‘faking it ’til you make it’ is outdated. In fact, professionals who believe this works are more likely to suffer from imposter syndrome, self-doubt and low confidence.

Dial down your standards

Leadership expert Kit de Vries calls imposter syndrome ‘the flip side of giftedness’. I wrote more about it in a recent blog article because it’s such a thought-provoking statement. If you’re a talented woman, remember that being gifted can put you in a harsh spotlight and trigger perfectionist habits.

 

Subscribe to our mailing list and receive fortnightly tips and videos:

 

Here’s why: Gifted women are brilliant at many things. But that doesn’t mean you should do everything at a super-perfect level. Dial down your expectations for everyday performance to the level of Professional Output. Save your highest standards for the tasks that really matter.

Master the art of setting limits

Women with authentic confidence don’t say ‘yes’ to everything. They’re clear about their boundaries. They also know how to set boundaries without sounding like pushy cows. You don’t need a genetic predisposition for confidence. You just need to master the basics of assertive communication.  Read my book Difficult People Made Easy to learn how.

 

By Eleanor Shakiba Confidence interesting articles 0 Comments

Beat Imposter Syndrome and Lead Without Fear

Ever feel like an impostor? You’re not alone. Most people feel unworthy of their success at some point in their careers. Yet, it’s especially harmful to leaders. It impacts everything from employee morale to time management. Luckily, anyone can learn to beat imposter syndrome.

According to an article published in the Harvard Business Review, imposter syndrome is a common problem for C-suite professionals. Managers and leaders often doubt their abilities and self-worth. Manfred FR Kets de Vries, the author of the article, explains that feelings of self-doubt are less pressing when they come from someone lower on the totem pole. However, when you reach a position with more responsibilities, your insecurities become more visible.

Fortunately, the article provides three solutions for overcoming the uncertainty associated with imposter syndrome. First, you should strategize vulnerability. This means that you should be willing to fail. Your vulnerability should be open for others to see, as it helps humanise you. The author also recommends greater transparency and open communication among team members.

The second solution is to promote problem-solving. Encouraging others to solve problems reduces your burden and stress. It’s a form of delegation, which also shows that you believe in the skills and abilities of your staff. This reinforces their confidence, which helps keep imposter syndrome from spreading to your team.

The third solution is to make questions more commonplace. Ask questions and invite others to ask questions. Questions encourage an environment of learning. You should accept that you don’t have the answers to everything. Be prepared to ask others for help when there is a gap in your knowledge.

 

Subscribe to our mailing list and receive fortnightly tips and videos:

 

According to the article, leaders can also use these techniques to address imposter syndrome among their team members. Read the original article here.

Imposter syndrome is a drain on your self-esteem and confidence. As explained in the article, vulnerability can help leaders feel less as if they are imposters. However, I also find that high achievers struggle to be vulnerable. You don’t want to be perceived as a failure, which comes from a place of fear.

Recognising that you cannot control what others think is a good first step in dealing with fear. You should also take the time to list your positive abilities and traits. You can use them as anchors to remind yourself of your worth when you feel as if you are an imposter.

Over 70% of people experience feelings of inadequacy. When these feelings occur in the workplace, you may start to think of yourself as an imposter. As the author of Beat Imposter Syndrome, I can help. Find out about my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

By Eleanor Shakiba Confidence interesting articles 0 Comments

The Most Terrifying Thing Is to Accept Oneself Completely. Carl Jung

Everyone is their own worst critic. However, some people let the inner critic get the best of them. Negative self-criticism can have an emotional and physical impact on your well-being. According to advice from Harvard Health Publishing, you’re more likely to suffer from low self-esteem when you can’t accept your capabilities.

It’s possible to gain self-acceptance and love yourself as you are. First, you should understand the definition of self-acceptance. Srini Pillay, MD defines self-acceptance as your acceptance of all your attributes, including positive and negative attributes. Accepting yourself includes body acceptance and self-protection from negative criticism. Self-acceptance also requires you to believe in your abilities.

According to Pillay, most people have low self-acceptance. He argues that this typically occurs due to low self-esteem. To boost their self-esteem, people may try to accomplish great tasks. However, this may only offer a short-term benefit. Achievement is a poor replacement for intimacy. The article goes on to explain the consequences of low self-acceptance. If you don’t believe in yourself, you may suffer from additional stress. Excess stress increases your risk of various physical ailments.

Pillay presents three ways to increase self-acceptance: self-regulation, self-awareness, and self-transcendence. Self-regulation requires you to suppress negative emotions. You suppress the negative emotions by refocusing on the positive features of yourself. You can reframe negative situations to find new opportunities.

Self-awareness involves seeing yourself as others see you. Sometimes you need to stop and look at yourself from an outside perspective to see the truth. Self-transcendence involves relying less on external forces to define yourself.

 

Subscribe to our mailing list and receive fortnightly tips and videos:

 

Srini Pillay MD also recommends meditation as a path to greater self-acceptance. Read the original article here.

Why does self-acceptance matter? If you can’t accept yourself, others won’t. This is a common worry for those that suffer from imposter syndrome. When you don’t feel worthy of your position, you’re likely to struggle through most projects. One solution is to recognise that no one is perfect. Self-acceptance is about accepting yourself as you are, including traits that you consider negative.

After over 20 years of confidence coaching, I’ve learned that not all methods work for everyone. However, self-regulation as described in the article is often effective for reframing negative self-criticism. Using positive thoughts to counter negative ones leads to a shift in your thought patterns. It boosts your self-esteem, which makes it easier to accept yourself.

Of course, accepting yourself is easier said than done. Working with a professional can help ensure you receive the tools needed to finally start loving yourself. Find out how to beat imposter syndrome by checking out my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

By Eleanor Shakiba Confidence tips 0 Comments

3 signs you’re a perfectionist

Okay, I admit it. I’m a perfectionist. So, let’s hope there are no typos in this article. That aside, let’s explore how YOU can tell if you’re a perfectionist. Here are the top three signs to look out for.

 

1. You’re super proud of going ‘above and beyond’.

You’re a high achiever. Your motto is ‘If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing well’. You’re passionate about doing a fantastic job every time. These beliefs demonstrate a high work ethic and a professional mindset.

But what if they’re actually signs of a problem caused by socialisation and pressure to excel from an early age? For example, imposter syndrome (a chronic fear of being seen as incompetent). Sadly, this could well be the case.

 

2. You’re an all-or-nothing thinker

If your work isn’t 120% brilliant, you believe you’ve failed. You don’t just want to pass the exam, you’re not satisfied with anything less than 9/10 – even though your final results will classify you as ‘competent’ or ‘not yet competent’.

This is a classic example of what Carol Dweck calls a ‘fixed mindset’. Sadly, this type of mindset often makes people successful. But not happy. And not authentically happy.

 

Subscribe to our mailing list and receive fortnightly tips and videos:

 

3. You never feel comfortable in your own shoes. (Plus, the shoes aren’t up to scratch, either.)

Let’s face it: Perfectionists are never satisfied with themselves. They harshly criticise every aspect of their physical, emotional and behavioural lives. They set ambitious goals for self-improvement and never rest.

Does this sound like you? If so, you might benefit from learning to accept yourself as you are. (What a great excuse to skip that gym visit).

 

In 2016, Srini Pillay published an interesting article on how to do exactly that. He explained that self-acceptance involves appreciating your body, protecting yourself from negative criticism and believing in your own capabilities. For more details on this model and my thoughts on how you can use it to boost your confidence, read my recent blog on self-acceptance and self-compassion.

 

 

By Eleanor Shakiba Confidence interesting articles 0 Comments

Think You Have Everything Under Control? Your Mind Might Be Playing Tricks on You

So, you think that you’ve got it all figured out? Think again. It’s likely you’re dealing with a cognitive distortion. The truth is that no one has everything under control or knows all the answers. Most people have a mental bias. It leads you to overestimate or underestimate how much you can influence your environment.

You may believe that you can control everything or fear that you control nothing. This mental bias is called the ‘fallacy of control’. It’s a cognitive distortion, which means an incorrect way of processing information. A recent article on exploringyourmind.com offers more insight. According to the article, when you misinterpret reality, you make inaccurate judgments.

For example, if you think that you control everything, you may fail to recognise your limitations. People with this mental bias tend to be perfectionists. When something becomes out of your control, you may experience feelings of fear or rejection. The causes of this fallacy of control vary. Some of the potential factors include fear of delegating tasks and having an anxious personality. You may also be too much of a perfectionist or have deep-rooted beliefs that things depend on your actions.

The fallacy of control works both ways. Instead of feeling in control of everything, some people feel that they have no control. You may feel that you don’t have the power to change anything in your life. If this sounds like you, you may also suffer from low self-esteem and confidence.

 

Subscribe to our mailing list and receive fortnightly tips and videos:

 

The lack of control can increase your anxieties. This often occurs due to low self-esteem or feelings of learned helplessness. You may also feel that you lack control due to personal insecurities. According to the authors of the article, comparing your ideas with a reliable source of information can help combat mental bias. Read the original article here.

The fallacy of control affects everyone differently. Whether you feel in control of everything or nothing, your mental bias may limit your success and professional opportunities. If you’re always in control, a moment that you can’t control may disrupt your routine. This leaves you feeling as if you are an imposter. If you’re never in control, you may already feel like an imposter.

Imposter syndrome is something that most professionals deal with at some point. When you realise that you don’t have everything under control, you may start to doubt your abilities. This makes it difficult to overcome challenges and explore new opportunities. Your confidence is also likely to suffer.

So, how can you control the fallacy of control? Start questioning your way of thinking. Don’t make assumptions. Evaluating your thoughts with a critical eye can help limit your mental bias and beat imposter syndrome. If you want to learn more about reframing your thought process, take a moment to explore my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

By Eleanor Shakiba Confidence interesting articles 0 Comments

Your Brain on Self-Compassion and Self-Esteem

Want to boost your self-esteem? Try a little self-compassion. Research shows that most people are self-critical. Luckily, scientists at Kingsway Hospital in the UK and the University of Texas at Austin have also found that compassion can help counter the negative inner critic inside your head.

Self-esteem influences every aspect of your life, including your career. A lack of self-esteem may keep you from excelling in your role. It’s common for people with low self-esteem to feel as if they are imposters. This often leads to a cycle of self-criticism and decreased motivation.

So, what’s the best way to increase your self-esteem? Based on research published on livescience.com, self-compassion holds the answer. Scientists in the UK and the US published research suggesting that self-compassion helps you combat self-criticism. They also explain that self-esteem, criticism, and compassion are connected to three distinct emotional systems in the brain. These systems include the drive system, the threat protection system, and the mammalian caregiving system.

The drive system is linked to your self-esteem. It motivates you to accomplish things, such as career or relationship goals. It also relies heavily on dopamine. The threat-protection system relies on adrenalin. It’s also called the fight or flight system. It’s responsible for helping you decide whether to fight, flee, or submit when faced with a threat. Most of us are ruled by the first two systems. If you lack self-esteem, your drive system is low. When presented with a threat, you may choose to flee.

 

Subscribe to our mailing list and receive fortnightly tips and videos:

 

The mammalian caregiving system provides a healthier alternative to the first two systems. It relies on oxytocin and opiates. Scientists believe that the caregiving system evolved out of our need to care for the young. However, the caregiving system can also be used to support your own needs. Based on the information presented by the authors, self-compassion can help fight self-criticism and low self-esteem. Read the original article here.

Practicing a little self-compassion can go a long way towards boosting your confidence. However, self-compassion is just one path toward building greater self-esteem and confidence. It’s also important to gain self-acceptance. Accepting that you possess negative and positive qualities allows you to see more clearly. Failing to accept yourself forces you to resist change.

Reframing your old beliefs is another method for gaining self-compassion. It’s also a common NLP technique. Try looking at yourself through someone else’s eyes. Using someone else’s perspective may help you uncover reasons to be more compassionate with yourself.

As pointed out in the article, a lack of self-esteem can leave you feeling as if you are an imposter. As a confidence coach with over 20 years of experience, I’ve worked with thousands of professionals with low self-esteem. If you want to beat imposter syndrome, explore my one-to-one coaching or online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

By Eleanor Shakiba Confidence tips 0 Comments

I’m a control freak… but I don’t let it control me.

Time to come clean. I’m a control freak. And I’m not the only one! In times of uncertainty, many people react by trying to regain control. But that’s not a healthy way to lead yourself, your team or your business.

So, how can you tell that your ‘organised mindset’ is actually a sign that you’re in full-blown control freak mode? Here are three signs that are dead give-aways.

 

1. You’re stressing out about people knowing you’re stressing out

Yep, you’re not the only one who does this! It’s a surprisingly common way of thinking among people with imposter syndrome, a distorted, unhelpful form of ‘metacognition’.

 

2. You believe you are 100 percent responsible for your own success

You give yourself no leeway. If something goes wrong, you scold yourself. Then you start working on making it go right again. You say things like “failure isn’t an option” and “there’s no such thing as good enough”. You over-schedule, over-commit and over-work. And still, you want to achieve more.

No. It’s not ambition or a good work ethic. It’s a sign your confidence very likely needs a reboot.

 

3.Your self-compassion battery is totally flat

Self-compassion is a form of support and nurturing you give yourself when you make mistakes, face embarrassing situations or encounter adversity. It’s like a battery; when it’s low, you don’t have the energy to enjoy your life. But it can be recharged – and there are good reasons to keep it fully charged.

Paul Gilbert is a research scientist who studies the neuroscience of self-compassion. He claims that three brain systems work together to help you handle adversity and survive in chaotic times. Your ‘mammalian care-giving system’ is one of these systems. When it’s outward-facing, it enables you to feel, and show, compassion for those around you. But it can also be inward-facing. In this case, your care-giving system promotes a sense of self-security and stability. To find out more about the implications of Paul Gilbert’s work for beating imposter syndrome and building confidence in my recent blog article.

 

By Eleanor Shakiba Confidence interesting articles 0 Comments

Who Invented Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem impacts almost every aspect of your life, including your confidence and motivation. Yet, people haven’t always worried about their self-esteem. The idea that your happiness and performance are linked to your self-esteem is a relatively recent concept, but it’s an important one to understand.

When did we become so obsessed with self-esteem? According to an in-depth article from Belinda Drummond on the work of Glynn Harrison, the modern self-esteem movement started in the 1960s. Harrison explains in his book The Big Ego Trip that the ’60s led to a shift from prioritising the needs of others to focusing on your own happiness.

This period also marked the rise of psychology as a scientific discipline. Psychologists could use self-esteem to compare and analyse the results of their research. Self-esteem gave psychology a way to achieve greater credibility. Society embraced the idea of helping oneself before trying to help others. The concept of putting others first became less desirable.

Self-esteem was the focus of the work for many leading psychologists of the 1970s. As the decades wore on, self-esteem and psychology became part of popular culture. However, Harrison also points out that the concept of self-esteem is not evidence-based. It’s also very fluid. Your self-esteem may go up or down depending on how your day goes, making self-worth a more vital part of your wellbeing.

 

Subscribe to our mailing list and receive fortnightly tips and videos:

 

Self-worth allows you to accept that you’re a valuable human being, providing a stable base for building more self-esteem. Based on Harrison’s research, modern psychology is closely connected to the exploration of self-esteem. Both are now a much more integral part of how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. Read the original article here.

So, why does self-esteem matter? Your self-esteem influences your happiness, wellbeing, and confidence. As a confidence coach, I’ve also seen how a lack of self-esteem tends to sink motivation. If you don’t believe in yourself, you’re less likely to maintain your motivation during a challenging task. You may feel that you don’t deserve success or that success is beyond your reach.

Low self-esteem often stems from fear. You may fear criticism, failure, rejection, or embarrassment. Neuro-linguistic programming gives you the tools to manage your fear by reframing your inner dialogue. You can learn how to use self-compassion to give yourself stable self-worth, instead of focusing on your self-esteem.

The self-esteem movement came to life in the 1960s and remains an important part of modern psychology. Increasing your self-esteem could unlock your full potential. If you currently lack self-esteem or feel like an imposter in the workplace, it’s time to explore the right solution. Learn how to beat imposter syndrome with my one-to-one coaching or online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.