By Eleanor Shakiba Momentum 0 Comments

3 myths that keep women stuck in middle management

If you think women are achieving parity in management roles, think again. Sure, women are now smashing through glass ceilings at an impressive rate. But once you’ve done that, what happens next? Sadly the answer is often that your career momentum stops. Stuck in cycle of perfectionism, imposter thinking and toxic persistence you get stuck in middle management. So how do you break free? Well, first you need to stop slavishly working on things that don’t have strategic results. Second, you need to break free of social conditioning. Your brain has been programmed to believe three myths. Which of them is keeping you trapped in a mid-level job?

Myth 1: Control breeds success

This myth drives the belief that the more control you have, the more successful you will be. However, this mindset will hinder your success as a leader. Trying to keep across every minor detail is a shortcut to disaster, not success. You need to focus on making progress, not being 100% in control of everything. Remember that control is an illusion anyway. There is always the potential for things to go wrong or changes to hit unexpectedly. Great leaders know this and are willing to live with ambiguity.

 

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Myth 2: High standards drive results

So many women tell me they believe in going ‘above and beyond’ at work. When I ask why, they say it’s a sign of commitment and dedication to the job. This is another load of BS. You see, having high standards doesn’t drive results – it leads to perfectionism and paralysis.

Myth 3: Confidence equates to competence

If you believe this, I bet you spend all your spare time getting more qualifications and shining up your CV. But learning more will NOT make you more confident. Oftentimes, it will distract you from being a gutsy leader who takes risks and learns from mistakes. Savvy female leaders know that true confidence comes from taking action and getting strategic things done, not just accumulating certificates and degrees.

So if you’re a woman determined to break through to senior leadership, it’s time to let go of these myths. Stop trying to control everything. Focus on making a difference. Most importantly, power up your leadership skills instead of trying to be a Jill of all trades. Then you’ll reach your full potential and be a leader with credibility, impact and difference-making success.

This article was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer and success coach. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.  Since discovering her passion for training and development, Eleanor has trained more than 60,000 people. She delivers face-to-face workshops for corporates, online masterclasses for leaders and Positive Psychology retreats for trainers, HR practitioners and leaders. 

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Boost your creativity by accessing hypnagogic states

There’s a moment between being asleep and being awake when your mind is in a state of transition. This is known as hypnagogia and it has been linked to heightened creativity and problem-solving abilities. The work of research psychologist Valdas Noreika, is interesting to explore if you want to capitalise on this state.

According to Noreika, many creative folks – including Thomas Edison, Edgar Allan Poe and Salvador Dali – have claimed that the moments between sleep and wakefulness have been a major source of their ideas and inspiration. Many reported that it sparked bursts of creativity or mental clarity. Thus, hypnagogia is an important concept to explore if you want to tap into your creative mind.

So, what exactly is hypnagogia? In simple terms, it is a transitional state between being awake and asleep. During this time, the brain produces theta waves which are also present during meditation and daydreaming. This state typically occurs when you are drifting off to sleep or when you are just waking up. However, it can also occur during periods of deep relaxation.

This means you can deliberately unlock this state of consciousness and reap its creative benefits. Indeed, a new device has been built to help you do just that. “This means we have a kind of workable system for dream control,” one of the inventors says. Here’s a quick summary of how this ‘dream machine’ came about.

First, let’s dive into the past. Thomas Edison, ever the innovator, discovered a unique way of inducing hypnagogia. He’d clutch a steel ball in his hand while dozing off. As sleep took hold, his grip would loosen, causing the ball to clatter onto the floor. The noise would jolt him back to wakefulness, just as he started to experience the hallucinatory insights characteristic of hypnagogia. Clever, right?

 

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Fast forward to today, and MIT Media Lab has given Edison’s technique a new lease of life with the Dormio device. In its first iteration, Dormio was a glove fitted with a microcontroller and a pressure sensor in the palm. The user would wear the glove and make a fist, putting pressure on the sensor, while EEG sensors monitored their brain activity. As they started drifting off to sleep, Dormio’s sensors detected the user’s muscle relaxation. At this point, a recorded phrase, designed to influence the user’s dreams, was played by Dormio.

In the second version of Dormio, the researchers swapped the palm sensor for flexion sensors that measure muscle tension at a much more detailed level. This allowed them to monitor subjects more accurately. They also replaced EEG monitoring with simpler biosignals, such as heart rate, and played the recording through a smartphone app.

Now, they’re working on a third generation of Dormio, which will monitor eyelid movement in sleeping subjects. The goal is to make Dormio as comfortable, affordable, and non-invasive as possible. Soon, perhaps, you’ll be able to use it! Isn’t it fascinating how we can take a concept from over a century ago and adapt it to modern technology?

You can read the original article here.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

By Eleanor Shakiba Momentum 0 Comments

Are you motivated by self-discipline or toxic persistence?

Self-discipline is certainly a trait to be admired. It’s that inner strength that lets you control your feelings, capitalise fully on your strengths and follow through on achieving your goals, despite all those reasons to give up. It’s what keeps you going when you’d much rather be doing anything else. It’s critical to building career momentum and impact at work. But there’s a downside to taking self-discipline too far.

What is toxic persistence?

Have you ever found yourself pushing on with a job even when you’re mentally and physically drained? Or working when you’re fatigued, just to tick one more task off your list? This is the downside of being in flow: you get so engaged in your work that you lose track of time and space. Plus, you don’t consider whether all that effort is reaping results.  If this sounds familiar, you might be edging towards toxic persistence. Eeek.

Toxic persistence happens when determination morphs into an unhelpful obsession. It causes you to keep working on projects that aren’t reaping results, or to hold on to goals that no longer serve you.  It’s an extreme form of self-discipline that can lead to burnout, frustration and even failure. Plus, it’s one of the most common ways ambitious professionals sabotage their own success and career momentum.

 

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How to tell if your ‘stamina’ is toxic persistence

If you think you might be falling into the trap of toxic persistence, here are three questions to ask yourself.

  • Where am I focusing my time and attention?
  • Am I making progress towards my most important goal, or am I just spinning my wheels?
  • What is driving my determination – is it intrinsic motivation or external pressure?

By asking these questions, you will quickly work out whether your self-discipline is serving you well or if it’s becoming toxic. And if you decide that it’s becoming a problem, don’t worry. There are steps you can take to break the cycle of toxic persistence and work as a savvy professional instead of an overzealous workhorse.

This article was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer and success coach. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.  Since discovering her passion for training and development, Eleanor has trained more than 60,000 people. She delivers face-to-face workshops for corporates, online masterclasses for leaders and Positive Psychology retreats for trainers, HR practitioners and leaders. 

By Clarissa Elfino Confidence interesting articles 0 Comments

‘Personal’ memories are easier to recall than other details. Here’s why.

I’ve always been fascinated by how vividly we remember some memories, while others  fade away into oblivion. For example, I can still remember every detail of my first day at school – from the smell of chalk dust to the sound of pencils scratching on paper. Yet, I struggle to remember what I had for lunch yesterday.

It turns out I’m not that unusual. The human brain is wired to prioritise and recall some “episodic memories” more easily than other details. I recently came across a study in the Journal of Neuroscience that sheds light on why this happens.

It describes a study done by the French National Center for Scientific Research. The study showed that the hippocampus plays a crucial role in organising distinct moments of experience when people learn.  For example, ‘time cells’ in the hippocampus fire when you’re learning a new task, creating a record of the time flow during the task. This helps you remember not just what happened, but also where and when it happened.

 

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So, why are personal memories easier to recall? The study suggests that your brain prioritises the encoding of time and context. This is probably because it helps you create a coherent narrative of your life. By understanding how time cells work, researchers hope to unlock the secrets of memory formation and retrieval.

This study opens up new avenues for exploring memory and could have significant implications for memory-related disorders in the future. Plus, it just might have implications for trainers, teachers and educators. If you want to learn more about this research, you can find the source article here.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

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Have you reached a career crunch point?

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By Eleanor Shakiba Momentum 0 Comments

Leap from career limbo to momentum

Do you feel overworked, underappreciated and unrewarded at work?  It’s a common scenario that I call the limbo zone – a state of high stress and low influence that lies between achieving professional momentum and burning out. So why do so many professionals, especially women, get ensnared in the limbo zone between stress and success? It boils down to three deeply ingrained assumptions, which drive your behaviour at work. Do you believe any of them?

  • Success is directly proportional to competence.
  • Perfection is the only acceptable standard.
  • To reach your goals, you must always be in control.

These myths, instilled since childhood, can become professional roadblocks. If you believe them, they’ll keep you in a frustrating state of dissatisfaction. But here’s the empowering truth – it doesn’t have to be this way! Escaping the limbo zone between stress and success is easy once you change your perspective.

Expand your perceptual horizons

Instead of focusing solely on competence, explore your potential. Ditch the pursuit of perfection and start celebrating the momentum you’ve already achieved.  Then build on it. And rather than clinging to control, strive to build your influence. That is what will truly move you forward professionally. This paradigm shift can accelerate your career, enhance your credibility, increase your professional impact and turbo charge your confidence. To start putting it in place today, try these three simple tips for building momentum.

 

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Adopt a growth mindset

Embrace continuous learning: understand that competence is not a fixed state but a journey of continuous improvement. Take advantage of learning opportunities, seek feedback and accept that everyone, at every level, has something new to learn.

Aim for progress, not perfection

Accept imperfection: perfection is an unrealistic standard that hampers progress. Instead, aim for progress and celebrate your growing momentum. Learn to live with ambiguity: it’s as simple as admitting, “I don’t know.” By doing so, you open yourself up to new ideas, collaboration and growth.

By changing your mindset and embracing these simple tips, you can break free from the limbo land between stress and success.  So take a deep breath, let go of those limiting beliefs and notice how easy it is to build professional momentum when you use the tips from positive psychology.

This article was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer and success coach. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.  Since discovering her passion for training and development, Eleanor has trained more than 60,000 people. She delivers face-to-face workshops for corporates, online masterclasses for leaders and Positive Psychology retreats for trainers, HR practitioners and leaders. 

By Clarissa Elfino Credibility interesting articles 0 Comments

When being great with people isn’t great for you…

Are you the kind of person who always puts others’ needs before your own? Do you spend your days sorting out people’s problems and being there for them in times of need? If so, you are most likely a people pleaser. Are you known as a ‘people person’ at work? It may come as a surprise that your exceptional skills with people might not be so exceptional for your well-being.

Researcher Gabor Maté has found that certain personality traits seem to appear frequently in people diagnosed with chronic illnesses. One of these traits is having compulsive and automatic concern for others’ emotional needs, often at the expense of your own.

A second trait associated with chronic disease is a rigid identification with societal roles, duties and responsibilities. In other words,  people who are driven to fulfill expectations and conform to societal norms seem to be more prone to chronic illnesses. This doesn’t mean the personality traits cause the illnesses, but there may be a link between them.

So, what does this mean for people-pleasers? It suggests that constantly prioritising others’ needs above your own and being overly focused on meeting societal expectations could be associated with negative health outcomes. This is not to say that being compassionate and responsible is unhealthy, but rather that there needs to be a balance between caring for others and caring for yourself.

 

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It’s essential to find a balance between taking care of yourself and caring for others. Neglecting your own well-being can lead to burnout, stress and lowered wellbeing. It’s crucial to set boundaries and learn to say ‘no’, as constantly saying ‘yes’ can lead to resentment and exhaustion. Additionally, take time for self-care activities that nourish your mind, body and spirit. Allow yourself to relax without feeling guilty or selfish.

So, the next time you catch yourself placing everyone else’s needs before your own, remember that self-care isn’t selfish. Pause for a moment, reflect on your well-being and consider setting boundaries that allow you to put yourself first.

To find out more about this thought-provoking research on the hidden dangers of being too nice, you can read the complete article by Gabor Maté here.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.