Having a well-structured argument built on strong foundations and facts is crucial. But you also need to know how to deliver that argument message. That’s the focus of this blog post.
‘No, not now’
Sometimes you really want to say ‘yes’. You would be happy to help if only there was less on your plate. You really don’t want to miss out on that golden opportunity, if only you could fit it in. Be firm with yourself and honest with others. Let people know when you can accommodate their request, rather than saying ‘no’ outright.
‘No’ prevents overload
If you’re the type of person who can’t say ‘no’, life is probably pretty hectic. What’s more, you’re probably doing a lot for everyone else and not much for you. And the likely result is that you feel stressed and over-stretched.
So remember – it’s simply not possible to do everything. Choose what you can do and then say ‘no’ to everything else. Saying ‘no’ to others means you say ‘yes’ to a stress-free life
This is a problem many people face at work. Here’s how we’d help Leanne deal with it. You can use the same process to encourage YOUR boss to mix a little positive in with the negative.
Some people use advice giving to control you or put you down. Whether it’s the office know-all pointing out your mistakes or a pessimistic co-worker raining on your parade, don’t allow them to continue. There are three steps you need to take when dealing with unwanted advice.
Have a clear purpose
Sometimes conversations get side-tracked because people don’t know why they’re talking in the first place. Prepare for the conversation beforehand. What must be covered? What outcomes do you want? Note down the crucial points. Tell the other person your purpose early on.
Does someone you work with bore you to tears with twenty minute monologues? Frequently interrupt you by stopping by your desk for a quick chat that goes on forever? Being sociable at work is great. But if you resent your time being taken up by over-talkers, these tips might come in handy.
Focussing on the issue rather than the person is a good start to resolving conflict. Here are some tips for doing this.
More ‘I’, less ‘You’
Sentences which start with ‘you’ often sound like an attack. Reframe sentences into ‘I’ statements to make them less personal and accusing. Say ‘I feel angry when meetings start late’. Avoid saying ‘you are always late’ or ‘I’m angry because you are late’ (a ‘you’ sentence thinly disguised).
Here’s how we’d help Dan deal with this problem. You can use the same strategies to present an effective case for a pay rise to your own employer.
Deal with even the most challenging negotiations by using these simple but effective verbal strategies.
Fortnightly tips and videos to inspire Difference Makers and Future Shapers as their efforts change the world.