Why do people paint exaggerated pictures of their success and happiness on social media? It’s a common question and psychologists answer it by saying that we all have a basic need for ‘self-completion’. This is a desire to see yourself – and be seen by others – as accomplished in areas you see as important. For example, someone who wants to be wealthy might buy an expensive outfit even though they can’t afford it. This ‘reward’ will make them feel like they’re living in alignment with their values, even though their action may in fact be financially irresponsible.

This need for self-completion is greatly amplified in the age of social media. After all, social media creates a platform for people to showcase their successes and highlight only the best parts of their lives. Often, the motivation behind this is a desire to receive validation from others. Why? So the person can feel ‘complete’ within themselves.

This is why so many people carefully select and edit photos before posting them. Essentially, they are using social media platforms to symbolise their idea visions of themselves. The research findings here are pretty fascinating. They suggest that people who feel incomplete in terms of their identity goals are more likely to be active on Instagram, using it to express themselves and achieve a feeling of self-fulfilment. While some see this as a positive way to pursue their goals, others may argue that it can bring pressure and dissatisfaction if you don’t reach your desired identity.

This is why so many people carefully select and edit photos before posting them. Essentially, they are using social media platforms to symbolise their idea visions of themselves. The research findings here are pretty fascinating. They suggest that people who feel incomplete in terms of their identity goals are more likely to be active on Instagram, using it to express themselves and achieve a feeling of self-fulfilment. While some see this as a positive way to pursue their goals, others may argue that it can bring pressure and dissatisfaction if you don’t reach your desired identity.

So, why does this all matter? Understanding why you post on Instagram can give you key insights into human behaviour and how social media fits into your life. By getting to grips with your drive for self-completion, you’ll get a deeper sense of what you really want in your life. This, of course, can empower you to take positive steps towards really achieving your goals – rather than just symbolising them on your Instagram feed.

Intrigued by all this? Here’s a quick exercise you can do: take a look at your own social media profiles and ask yourself why you post the pictures that you do. What does this tell you about your aspirations and values? Are you satisfied with your current level of self-fulfilment? Use this as a starting point to begin working towards a more authentic and fulfilling life, both on and off social media. Remember, it’s not about the number of likes or followers, but about finding true satisfaction within yourself.

Want to find out more about self-completion and identity goals? Read this article Psychology Today.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

What does it mean to be sensitive, really? You might picture someone who gets easily upset or overwhelmed. But, it’s more complex than that. Research into sensitivity started with an interesting observation about babies. In the 1980s, psychologist Jerome Kagan noticed that some babies reacted intensely to new sights and smells, while others were more placid. Through a series of tests involving Winnie-the-Pooh mobiles, cotton buds dipped in alcohol and eerie synthetic voices, Kagan and his team identified two temperaments among these infants: “high reactive” and “low reactive.”

The high-reactive babies seemed more sensitive to their environment and displayed signs like kicking, thrashing and crying. But it wasn’t just a passing phase. Kagan’s follow-up studies revealed that these high-reactive babies grew into high-reactive adults. As an adult, you might still have big reactions to your surroundings—you might get nervous in crowds, be prone to over-thinking and worry about future events. Yet, you also demonstrate significant strengths. You might excel academically, build a successful career and make meaningful friendships.

You might think being high-reactive sounds a lot like being fearful. Initially, Kagan connected this trait to the amygdala, the brain’s “fear center.” But modern research tells a more nuanced story. While fearfulness in high-reactive children often diminishes by adulthood, sensitivity remains a defining characteristic. Elaine Aron, a pioneering researcher in the field, has shown that sensitivity is a healthy trait. This same trait goes by several names today, including highly sensitive people (HSPs), sensory processing sensitivity and biological sensitivity to context. Recently, researchers have looked to unify these terms under a single umbrella: environmental sensitivity.

So, what does it mean to be sensitive, or perhaps more fittingly, responsive? Essentially, it involves perceiving, processing and responding deeply to your surroundings. You notice more details in your environment and think deeply about this information, often unconsciously. This deep processing makes you highly responsive not just to negative experiences like heartbreak or loss, but also to positive stimuli such as beauty joy and new ideas.

If you consider yourself to be a sensitive person, it means that your body and mind react more intensely to the world around you. You might delve deeply into thoughts and feelings when others skim the surface, finding profound connections and insights. This responsiveness is a double-edged sword; it makes you vulnerable but also capable of extraordinary depth and understanding.

In a world that often values quick reactions and surface-level thinking, being responsive can set you apart in meaningful ways. If you think deeply and feel strongly, you bring invaluable perspectives and insights to the table. Sensitivity, therefore, is not just a trait to be managed but a strength to be celebrated.

More of the article here.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

Courage is more complicated than you think. That’s why it’s so hard to build. Recent research delves into this universally admired trait and what makes someone courageous. It turns out, your personality traits – your levels of extraversion, agreeableness, open-mindedness, emotional stability and resilience – can influence your courageous behaviours. And it doesn’t just stop at you. Courage is also intertwined with altruism, urging you to take risks that go beyond self-interest to benefit your community or group.

Sounds intriguing, right? But here’s where it gets even more fascinating. What if you generally shy away from risks? Does this mean you lack courage? Not necessarily, according to a study that examined self-reported courage. The research found that those with a low propensity for risk often reported less courage. However, when faced with real-life situations that demanded action, those same individuals were just as likely to step up and show courage.

This means that the true measure of courage may not lie in what you say about yourself, but in what you do when the stakes are high. Now, let’s add a twist. The research theorises that courage could be an evolved trait, developed over generations to encourage us to take calculated risks for the good of our tribe or group. In essence, your courage could be an ancestral gift, a vital trait that helped shape the course of human history.

Thus, if you want to nurture your inner courageous hero, start by cultivating your outgoing, open-minded and resilient self. Embrace the fact that taking risks is part of our evolutionary heritage. Remember, being courageous isn’t just about personal glory. It’s about making a positive impact on those around you.

So, next time you’re faced with a challenging situation, remember this: courage is more about action than self-description. Don’t shy away from risk – instead, embrace it as a chance to show your courage, to demonstrate your altruism and to make a difference. Unlock your inner hero and let your courage shine through. Who knows? You just might change the world.

More of the article here.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

Imagine navigating the vast ocean of life, where your boat symbolises your hope and the horizon your goals. Poetic, isn’t it? But here’s the twist – navigating this ocean isn’t just about having a sturdy boat (aka hope). It’s also understanding that you’re part of a larger fleet (your social connections). Recent insights from positive psychology, reveal some fascinating facts about hope.

To start with, hope is way more than wishful thinking.  Second, it’s not just an individual phenomenon. Research shows that people with strong support systems tend to have higher levels of hope than those with no support. After all, social connections give you emotional support during tough times. They also offer practical resources such as advice, funding or help.  This is why it’s important to nurture and invest in your relationships.

Consider the concept of WePower. No, it’s not the latest energy drink). It’s the idea that when people come together, their collective hope and energy can create positive change. Whether it’s supporting a friend through a difficult time or working towards a common goal with your team, WePower can make the difference between giving up and pushing through.

Plus, studies have shown that hope is contagious. For example, if you’re surrounded by hopeful and optimistic people, chances are you’ll also be more hopeful and optimistic. Plus, it seems social connections can serve as a safety net, sheltering you from life’s storms. Many resilience researchers have found that when people go through traumatic events, having strong support systems can help them bounce back with stronger levels of hope.

So, it seems that having high levels of personal agency is important, but so is having a supportive social network. In fact, it’s the combination of both leads to long-lasting hope and resilience. This expanded view of hope isn’t just academically intriguing, it’s also practically relevant for anyone keen on understanding what propels you forward in life. So, the next time you face a challenge, remember to not only rely on your personal hope, but also draw strength and support from those around you.

More of the article here.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

Comfort eating. Stress snacking. Emotional overeating. No matter what you call it, chances are you know exactly what  it feels like to eat because you feel stressed. But why does it happen? No, it’s not just a lack of willpower. Phew.  It turns out stress really does make you want to eat more.

That’s because being stressed out messes with your brain’s natural fullness response. This makes it harder for you to know when you’ve had enough to eat.  On top of that, stress also stimulates the areas of your brain responsible for cravings and rewards, creating a strong drive to seek out those foods.

But here’s the good news: researchers have found that mindfulness techniques can help counteract the negative effects of stress on our eating habits. For example, a recent study found that doing mindfulness meditation for just 15 minutes a day can reduce stress levels and decrease emotional eating.

Plus, a study done by the Garvan Institute has pinpointed the area of the brain responsible for weight gain during periods of high stress: the lateral habenula. Under normal conditions, the lateral habenula dampens your brain’s reward-seeking signals. In other words, it stops you from wanting to eat comfort food. However, when you’re stressed the lateral habenula remains inactive. So, you keep craving treats.

The researchers discovered that the molecule NPY, which the brain produces naturally in response to stress, impacts the function of the lateral habenula. When the researchers blocked NPY from activating the lateral habenula in stressed mice, the mice consumed less comfort food and put on less weight.

So, we’re getting closer to understanding  the relationship between stress and overeating, and how to combat it. Mindfulness techniques and understanding the role of NPY in the brain are just a few steps towards finding healthier ways to cope with stress. Other strategies include regular exercise, getting enough sleep and seeking support from friends or professionals.

To find out more, read the original article here.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

Imagine waking up feeling energized and fully prepared to conquer your day. But then you mess everything up by reaching for your phone. You’re bombarded with notifications and distractions. Yep. According to sleep expert Dr. Nerina Shearman, checking your phone first thing sets you up for a stress-filled day. It also dims your optimism and creativity. That’s not just her opinion. It’s what some interesting brain research has shown.

You see, focusing intently on anything (including your phone) makes your brain skip out of theta and alpha brainwave mode. You go straight into a beta wave state.  Now beta wave activity happens when your brain is fully engaged – and when you are stressed. Theta waves, on the other hand, occur when you are in a state of mental relaxation. They’re associated with a free flow of ideas and creative thinking.

So don’t activate your brain’s stress mode as soon as you get up. It’s time to stop reaching for your phone before you do anything else.  If you use the clock on your phone to wake you up, don’t let that tempt you. Start putting your phone on plane mode before you go to bed. Then you can still use it as an alarm, but you won’t be tempted to start scrolling through notifications the moment you wake up.

After all, the way you begin your day can significantly impact your mental state and productivity. Take control of your mornings and unleash your full potential. And if you want to find out more about Dr Shearman’s research, read the original article about it.

You can read the original article here.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

If you’re a leader who can relate to having a bit of imposter syndrome, here’s some good news. This is not unusual and there are ways to develop your confidence without extensive therapy or coaching. A interesting article from Weforum summarises five of these. All of which you can immediately.

• Identify your fears and address them.
• Focus on your strengths and use them to your advantage.
• Surround yourself with supportive people.
• Take small steps towards your goal.
• Remember that mistakes is a natural part of the learning process.

If you want to make an impact as a leader, you need to accept yourself and develop deep confidence. This means being positive, proactive and focused on your goals. With the right attitude, you can inspire others and achieve great things. Remember, leadership starts from within.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions and express your willingness to learn more. You can also join a group of like-minded people so that you’re surrounded by positive energy and those who share the same values as you. By connecting with others, you’ll gain knowledge and resources that can help you take action and lead with confidence.

Confidence is a critical component of leadership. By cultivating a growth mindset, developing your strengths, building a support system, taking calculated risks and communicating effectively, you can become a more confident leader and make a positive impact on those around you. Remember that leadership is not just about being in charge; it’s about inspiring and influencing others to achieve their full potential.

You can read the original article here.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

I’ve always been fascinated by how vividly we remember some memories, while others  fade away into oblivion. For example, I can still remember every detail of my first day at school – from the smell of chalk dust to the sound of pencils scratching on paper. Yet, I struggle to remember what I had for lunch yesterday.

It turns out I’m not that unusual. The human brain is wired to prioritise and recall some “episodic memories” more easily than other details. I recently came across a study in the Journal of Neuroscience that sheds light on why this happens.

It describes a study done by the French National Center for Scientific Research. The study showed that the hippocampus plays a crucial role in organising distinct moments of experience when people learn.  For example, ‘time cells’ in the hippocampus fire when you’re learning a new task, creating a record of the time flow during the task. This helps you remember not just what happened, but also where and when it happened.

So, why are personal memories easier to recall? The study suggests that your brain prioritises the encoding of time and context. This is probably because it helps you create a coherent narrative of your life. By understanding how time cells work, researchers hope to unlock the secrets of memory formation and retrieval.

This study opens up new avenues for exploring memory and could have significant implications for memory-related disorders in the future. Plus, it just might have implications for trainers, teachers and educators. If you want to learn more about this research, you can find the source article here.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

Most people occasionally experience a lack of motivation. It’s natural to lose interest in a task or project, but what drives this loss of motivation? According to leading psychologists, rewards largely influence your desire to accomplish things. Receiving an internal or external reward helps keep people motivated.

So, what type of reward works best for motivation? The answer depends on the type of motivation. In psychology, motivation is either intrinsic or extrinsic. A recent article on verywellmind.com perfectly explains how rewards impact both types of motivation.

First, it’s important to understand the differences between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation is internally rewarding. It comes from behaviour that is mostly driven by your self-satisfaction instead of an external reward.

Activities that you engage in for fun are examples of intrinsic motivation. Hobbies are commonly intrinsically motivated. The self-satisfaction that you get from the activity is rewarding enough. Research suggests that adding external rewards on top of internal rewards decreases motivation. Psychologists call this the “over-justification effect”. Your intrinsic enjoyment of a task is sufficient justification for completing it. Adding an external reward creates the perception that the task is over-justified.

Extrinsic motivation comes from a desire to gain external rewards or avoid repercussions. You show up to work to earn money, which is an external reward. If you take away your pay, you’ll likely lack the motivation to go to the office.

However, your performance is also influenced by a variety of intrinsic factors. You likely gain a sense of satisfaction when others recognise your hard work. You may also find completing a challenging work task intrinsically rewarding,

Motivation and self-confidence are closely linked. If you tend to suffer from imposter syndrome, your motivation could be to blame. Self-motivation gives you the drive to set and complete goals. Without this motivation, you may gradually lose confidence in your ability to get things done. Listing the ways that you find your work intrinsically rewarding can boost your motivation in the workplace.

A lack of confidence can also significantly lower your motivation. Without confidence, it’s more of a challenge to stay motivated. Luckily, it’s possible to increase both your motivation and confidence. Choosing the right reward system can boost your motivation to complete tasks. The more you accomplish the more your confidence in your abilities grows.

Building true confidence requires motivation. Based on the article discussed, a reward system is a powerful tool for becoming more motivated. Yet, motivation is only part of the equation for gaining confidence. Neuro-linguistic programming offers a way to reframe your thought patterns, including the way that you think about motivation. Learn how to beat imposter syndrome with my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

Are narcissists truly mean, competitive and jealous? In the article “What Makes Some Narcissists Mean, Competitive and Jealous” posted in Psychology Today, readers are provided with a comprehensive overview of the phenomenon of narcissism. The article delves into the psychological development of narcissists and reveals the factors that contribute to their behaviours. The article explains that most severe narcissists had likely suffered from emotional trauma during a crucial developmental period, which resulted in their self-centred traits. Furthermore, it is revealed that these individuals do not have an awareness of boundaries when they become triggered, meaning they will do anything to get what they want.

The implications of this kind of behaviour are particularly relevant to managers, business owners and supervisors who must work with narcissistic employees or colleagues. Not only is it important for these professionals to understand that their team member’s narcissistic tendencies stem from a deeper-seated issue, but also be aware of how such issues can manifest in workplace interactions. For example, how some narcissists may act out through manipulative tactics or become overly controlling and aggressive when in positions of power. It is important for employers to be able to recognise these warning signs before allowing someone’s ego to take control and destroy morale or productivity in the workplace.

In addition to outlining the causes and effects of narcissistic behaviour, the article provides tips on how leaders can effectively manage such individuals in their teams without damaging relationships or imposing further stress on them due to their underlying condition. These tips include providing consistent feedback on performance as well as finding ways for them to develop emotionally so as not to trigger any potential flare ups due to unresolved past issues. Additionally, leaders should strive for clear communication within teams so as to avoid misunderstandings which can lead to unnecessary confrontations between members; something which narcissists may often initiate when feeling threatened or unappreciated..

In addition to outlining the causes and effects of narcissistic behaviour, the article provides tips on how leaders can effectively manage such individuals in their teams without damaging relationships or imposing further stress on them due to their underlying condition. These tips include providing consistent feedback on performance as well as finding ways for them to develop emotionally so as not to trigger any potential flare ups due to unresolved past issues. Additionally, leaders should strive for clear communication within teams so as to avoid misunderstandings which can lead to unnecessary confrontations between members; something which narcissists may often initiate when feeling threatened or unappreciated.

It is clear that understanding the dynamics behind narcissistic behaviours is paramount if we are looking towards creating healthy working environments free from unnecessary conflict or strain caused by egos run wild.  Although it is important to remember that nothing can replace professional therapy for those who may struggle with the emotional trauma associated with their particular condition.  By becoming cognisant of these issues, leaders can not only help protect themselves from potential liabilities but also create a safe environment in which team members can work together in harmony.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/insight-is-2020/201807/what-makes-some-narcissists-mean-competitive-and-jealous

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.