6 Ways to Think About Time… And How They Impact Your Confidence

Does your constant planning keep you from getting anything done in the present? Does your frequent worrying about the past keep you from trying new things? These are examples of how your perspective of time can impact your confidence. Thanks to research published on PsychologyToday.com, you can now gain a better perspective.

Everyone has a different perspective when it comes to the passage of time. Some people are more worried about the past while others focus on the future. According to Rosemary KM Sword and Philip Zimbardo PhD, these differences impact every aspect of your life.

The authors categorise people based on their time perspective. Someone who is ‘past negative’ tends to focus on negative events or thoughts from the past. This may include traumatic events or moments of failure. The negative thoughts tend to keep them from seeing a brighter future.

Someone who is ‘present fatalistic’ is rooted in the present but believes that they’ve got no control over their environment. As with past negative people, present fatalistic people tend to suffer from low self-esteem. They struggle to see their own self-worth. The authors also describe ‘extreme future’ people. This group includes people that are too busy planning to enjoy the present. All three of the time perspectives discussed can limit your opportunities.

So, what’s the best time perspective? The authors argue that the best perspective is balanced. When your time perspective is balanced, you can use your imagination in exciting new ways. You spend less time dwelling on negative thoughts from the past and fears of the future.

 

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The authors used their theories to help treat war veterans suffering from post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). However, balancing your time perspective is beneficial for everyone. Read the original article here.

Whether you’re more focused on the past, present, or future, your time perspective may be holding you back. As mentioned in the article, the best perspective is a balanced one. The authors of the article also offer a few examples of how to balance your perspective. If you’re stuck in the past, you need to replace your negative memories with positive ones.

If you’re stuck in the present and feel that you’ve got no control over anything, you may also start to feel like an imposter. Try practicing more self-compassion. Give yourself the freedom to enjoy fun activities and accept yourself for how you are. Several of these suggestions align with common neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) techniques.

Changing the way you think about the past, present, and future could hold the key to your happiness. Your time perspective largely influences your confidence. If you want to learn more about how to beat imposter syndrome, explore my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

Fire up your motivation today

Feeling exhausted and burned out? That can change today. Most people believe that motivation is directly linked to the state of mental energy. They believe that once your body and mind are at their peak physical and mental states, you’re motivated to go through the ups and downs of daily life. But new research shows the opposite. Your brain is as powerful at creating and inducing motivation as it is at turning on and off your motivation.

It has as much to do with your emotions and the stories you tell yourself as it does about your level of physical energy.

 

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Whether you’re someone who seeks extra energy or motivation, this simple 2-step guide will help you to reverse a stressful habit and start taking charge of your own life.

  1. Start small. The best way to manage your emotions is to start with something that’s manageable. It’s better to take the small steps that you need to get started than to give up on something big. Choose a small goal today and set about doing it. This will make you feel like you’ve accomplished something – and you’ll build motivation from that point on.
  2. Make some changes. Change your exercise routine, increase the amount of exercise you do or try something new, like aerobic exercise. If you have a hard time getting up and going out, plan a morning routine that helps you get out of bed on time.

When you are motivated, you tend to be more positive about your future and what you want to achieve. So, power up your motivation today!

As the author of Beat Imposter Syndrome, I can help you achieve success easily. Find out about my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

Beat Imposter Syndrome and Lead Without Fear

Ever feel like an impostor? You’re not alone. Most people feel unworthy of their success at some point in their careers. Yet, it’s especially harmful to leaders. It impacts everything from employee morale to time management. Luckily, anyone can learn to beat imposter syndrome.

According to an article published in the Harvard Business Review, imposter syndrome is a common problem for C-suite professionals. Managers and leaders often doubt their abilities and self-worth. Manfred FR Kets de Vries, the author of the article, explains that feelings of self-doubt are less pressing when they come from someone lower on the totem pole. However, when you reach a position with more responsibilities, your insecurities become more visible.

Fortunately, the article provides three solutions for overcoming the uncertainty associated with imposter syndrome. First, you should strategize vulnerability. This means that you should be willing to fail. Your vulnerability should be open for others to see, as it helps humanise you. The author also recommends greater transparency and open communication among team members.

The second solution is to promote problem-solving. Encouraging others to solve problems reduces your burden and stress. It’s a form of delegation, which also shows that you believe in the skills and abilities of your staff. This reinforces their confidence, which helps keep imposter syndrome from spreading to your team.

The third solution is to make questions more commonplace. Ask questions and invite others to ask questions. Questions encourage an environment of learning. You should accept that you don’t have the answers to everything. Be prepared to ask others for help when there is a gap in your knowledge.

 

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According to the article, leaders can also use these techniques to address imposter syndrome among their team members. Read the original article here.

Imposter syndrome is a drain on your self-esteem and confidence. As explained in the article, vulnerability can help leaders feel less as if they are imposters. However, I also find that high achievers struggle to be vulnerable. You don’t want to be perceived as a failure, which comes from a place of fear.

Recognising that you cannot control what others think is a good first step in dealing with fear. You should also take the time to list your positive abilities and traits. You can use them as anchors to remind yourself of your worth when you feel as if you are an imposter.

Over 70% of people experience feelings of inadequacy. When these feelings occur in the workplace, you may start to think of yourself as an imposter. As the author of Beat Imposter Syndrome, I can help. Find out about my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

The Most Terrifying Thing Is to Accept Oneself Completely. Carl Jung

Everyone is their own worst critic. However, some people let the inner critic get the best of them. Negative self-criticism can have an emotional and physical impact on your well-being. According to advice from Harvard Health Publishing, you’re more likely to suffer from low self-esteem when you can’t accept your capabilities.

It’s possible to gain self-acceptance and love yourself as you are. First, you should understand the definition of self-acceptance. Srini Pillay, MD defines self-acceptance as your acceptance of all your attributes, including positive and negative attributes. Accepting yourself includes body acceptance and self-protection from negative criticism. Self-acceptance also requires you to believe in your abilities.

According to Pillay, most people have low self-acceptance. He argues that this typically occurs due to low self-esteem. To boost their self-esteem, people may try to accomplish great tasks. However, this may only offer a short-term benefit. Achievement is a poor replacement for intimacy. The article goes on to explain the consequences of low self-acceptance. If you don’t believe in yourself, you may suffer from additional stress. Excess stress increases your risk of various physical ailments.

Pillay presents three ways to increase self-acceptance: self-regulation, self-awareness, and self-transcendence. Self-regulation requires you to suppress negative emotions. You suppress the negative emotions by refocusing on the positive features of yourself. You can reframe negative situations to find new opportunities.

Self-awareness involves seeing yourself as others see you. Sometimes you need to stop and look at yourself from an outside perspective to see the truth. Self-transcendence involves relying less on external forces to define yourself.

 

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Srini Pillay MD also recommends meditation as a path to greater self-acceptance. Read the original article here.

Why does self-acceptance matter? If you can’t accept yourself, others won’t. This is a common worry for those that suffer from imposter syndrome. When you don’t feel worthy of your position, you’re likely to struggle through most projects. One solution is to recognise that no one is perfect. Self-acceptance is about accepting yourself as you are, including traits that you consider negative.

After over 20 years of confidence coaching, I’ve learned that not all methods work for everyone. However, self-regulation as described in the article is often effective for reframing negative self-criticism. Using positive thoughts to counter negative ones leads to a shift in your thought patterns. It boosts your self-esteem, which makes it easier to accept yourself.

Of course, accepting yourself is easier said than done. Working with a professional can help ensure you receive the tools needed to finally start loving yourself. Find out how to beat imposter syndrome by checking out my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

Think You Have Everything Under Control? Your Mind Might Be Playing Tricks on You

So, you think that you’ve got it all figured out? Think again. It’s likely you’re dealing with a cognitive distortion. The truth is that no one has everything under control or knows all the answers. Most people have a mental bias. It leads you to overestimate or underestimate how much you can influence your environment.

You may believe that you can control everything or fear that you control nothing. This mental bias is called the ‘fallacy of control’. It’s a cognitive distortion, which means an incorrect way of processing information. A recent article on exploringyourmind.com offers more insight. According to the article, when you misinterpret reality, you make inaccurate judgments.

For example, if you think that you control everything, you may fail to recognise your limitations. People with this mental bias tend to be perfectionists. When something becomes out of your control, you may experience feelings of fear or rejection. The causes of this fallacy of control vary. Some of the potential factors include fear of delegating tasks and having an anxious personality. You may also be too much of a perfectionist or have deep-rooted beliefs that things depend on your actions.

The fallacy of control works both ways. Instead of feeling in control of everything, some people feel that they have no control. You may feel that you don’t have the power to change anything in your life. If this sounds like you, you may also suffer from low self-esteem and confidence.

 

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The lack of control can increase your anxieties. This often occurs due to low self-esteem or feelings of learned helplessness. You may also feel that you lack control due to personal insecurities. According to the authors of the article, comparing your ideas with a reliable source of information can help combat mental bias. Read the original article here.

The fallacy of control affects everyone differently. Whether you feel in control of everything or nothing, your mental bias may limit your success and professional opportunities. If you’re always in control, a moment that you can’t control may disrupt your routine. This leaves you feeling as if you are an imposter. If you’re never in control, you may already feel like an imposter.

Imposter syndrome is something that most professionals deal with at some point. When you realise that you don’t have everything under control, you may start to doubt your abilities. This makes it difficult to overcome challenges and explore new opportunities. Your confidence is also likely to suffer.

So, how can you control the fallacy of control? Start questioning your way of thinking. Don’t make assumptions. Evaluating your thoughts with a critical eye can help limit your mental bias and beat imposter syndrome. If you want to learn more about reframing your thought process, take a moment to explore my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

Your Brain on Self-Compassion and Self-Esteem

Want to boost your self-esteem? Try a little self-compassion. Research shows that most people are self-critical. Luckily, scientists at Kingsway Hospital in the UK and the University of Texas at Austin have also found that compassion can help counter the negative inner critic inside your head.

Self-esteem influences every aspect of your life, including your career. A lack of self-esteem may keep you from excelling in your role. It’s common for people with low self-esteem to feel as if they are imposters. This often leads to a cycle of self-criticism and decreased motivation.

So, what’s the best way to increase your self-esteem? Based on research published on livescience.com, self-compassion holds the answer. Scientists in the UK and the US published research suggesting that self-compassion helps you combat self-criticism. They also explain that self-esteem, criticism, and compassion are connected to three distinct emotional systems in the brain. These systems include the drive system, the threat protection system, and the mammalian caregiving system.

The drive system is linked to your self-esteem. It motivates you to accomplish things, such as career or relationship goals. It also relies heavily on dopamine. The threat-protection system relies on adrenalin. It’s also called the fight or flight system. It’s responsible for helping you decide whether to fight, flee, or submit when faced with a threat. Most of us are ruled by the first two systems. If you lack self-esteem, your drive system is low. When presented with a threat, you may choose to flee.

 

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The mammalian caregiving system provides a healthier alternative to the first two systems. It relies on oxytocin and opiates. Scientists believe that the caregiving system evolved out of our need to care for the young. However, the caregiving system can also be used to support your own needs. Based on the information presented by the authors, self-compassion can help fight self-criticism and low self-esteem. Read the original article here.

Practicing a little self-compassion can go a long way towards boosting your confidence. However, self-compassion is just one path toward building greater self-esteem and confidence. It’s also important to gain self-acceptance. Accepting that you possess negative and positive qualities allows you to see more clearly. Failing to accept yourself forces you to resist change.

Reframing your old beliefs is another method for gaining self-compassion. It’s also a common NLP technique. Try looking at yourself through someone else’s eyes. Using someone else’s perspective may help you uncover reasons to be more compassionate with yourself.

As pointed out in the article, a lack of self-esteem can leave you feeling as if you are an imposter. As a confidence coach with over 20 years of experience, I’ve worked with thousands of professionals with low self-esteem. If you want to beat imposter syndrome, explore my one-to-one coaching or online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

Who Invented Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem impacts almost every aspect of your life, including your confidence and motivation. Yet, people haven’t always worried about their self-esteem. The idea that your happiness and performance are linked to your self-esteem is a relatively recent concept, but it’s an important one to understand.

When did we become so obsessed with self-esteem? According to an in-depth article from Belinda Drummond on the work of Glynn Harrison, the modern self-esteem movement started in the 1960s. Harrison explains in his book The Big Ego Trip that the ’60s led to a shift from prioritising the needs of others to focusing on your own happiness.

This period also marked the rise of psychology as a scientific discipline. Psychologists could use self-esteem to compare and analyse the results of their research. Self-esteem gave psychology a way to achieve greater credibility. Society embraced the idea of helping oneself before trying to help others. The concept of putting others first became less desirable.

Self-esteem was the focus of the work for many leading psychologists of the 1970s. As the decades wore on, self-esteem and psychology became part of popular culture. However, Harrison also points out that the concept of self-esteem is not evidence-based. It’s also very fluid. Your self-esteem may go up or down depending on how your day goes, making self-worth a more vital part of your wellbeing.

 

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Self-worth allows you to accept that you’re a valuable human being, providing a stable base for building more self-esteem. Based on Harrison’s research, modern psychology is closely connected to the exploration of self-esteem. Both are now a much more integral part of how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. Read the original article here.

So, why does self-esteem matter? Your self-esteem influences your happiness, wellbeing, and confidence. As a confidence coach, I’ve also seen how a lack of self-esteem tends to sink motivation. If you don’t believe in yourself, you’re less likely to maintain your motivation during a challenging task. You may feel that you don’t deserve success or that success is beyond your reach.

Low self-esteem often stems from fear. You may fear criticism, failure, rejection, or embarrassment. Neuro-linguistic programming gives you the tools to manage your fear by reframing your inner dialogue. You can learn how to use self-compassion to give yourself stable self-worth, instead of focusing on your self-esteem.

The self-esteem movement came to life in the 1960s and remains an important part of modern psychology. Increasing your self-esteem could unlock your full potential. If you currently lack self-esteem or feel like an imposter in the workplace, it’s time to explore the right solution. Learn how to beat imposter syndrome with my one-to-one coaching or online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

Surprising Benefits of Saying “I Don’t Know” At Work

Everyone has moments where they feel inadequate. Yet, most people try to hide those feelings under a mask of false confidence. This is called the imposter syndrome and it affects over 70% of the population. A recent article on the topic helps shed light on the causes of imposter syndrome and how to conquer it.

So, what is the key to beating imposter syndrome? First, you need to understand where it comes from. The term imposter syndrome was coined by clinical psychologists Dr. Pauline Clance and Dr. Suzanne Imes in 1978. Dr. Valerie Young expanded upon their research by identifying five types of impostors: the soloist, the perfectionist, the natural genius, the superman/woman, and the expert.

The perfectionist feels as if giving 99% isn’t enough. According to Dr. Young, perfectionists need to understand that perfectionism inhibits success and not everything deserves 100%. The expert feels that they always need to acquire more knowledge. Yet, there is no end to knowledge.

The natural genius assumes that confidence and intelligence are natural traits that you’re born with. They need to realise that nothing is fixed. The soloist only feels competent when they complete tasks without help. However, smart people seek help from those who know more. The superman/woman feels that they must excel at everything instead of slowing down.

All five types of impostors benefit from reframing, which is a common practice in neuro-linguistic programming (NLP). The best way to stop feeling like an impostor is to reframe your thoughts. The next time that you feel inadequate, stop, and imagine how someone with more confidence may feel in that same moment. You can distance yourself from your feelings and reframe them from someone else’s perspective.

 

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Dr. Young offers an in-depth look at the reasons for feelings of inadequacy in the workplace. Read the original article here.

Imposter syndrome directly impacts your performance in the workplace. Instead of faking it until you make it, try admitting that you don’t have all the answers. You can say “no” and “I don’t know” occasionally. No one expects you to know everything.

I find that this is an especially important lesson for high achievers, leaders, and other professionals. Letting others know that you don’t know everything makes you more relatable. It can also go a long way toward boosting the confidence of subordinates.

According to Dr. Young, it’s also important to recognise that you can’t eliminate all feelings of inadequacy. Neuro-linguistic programming techniques provide a way to reframe your thinking. With practice, you can learn to normalise your feelings and stop holding yourself to unrealistic standards.

For those who want to act now, I recommend practicing saying “I don’t know.” Feel free to admit when you don’t have a solution. If you want additional tips on how to beat imposter syndrome, I’m ready to help. Take a moment to learn more about my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

No Motivation? Here’s Why

Most people occasionally experience a lack of motivation. It’s natural to lose interest in a task or project, but what drives this loss of motivation? According to leading psychologists, rewards largely influence your desire to accomplish things. Receiving an internal or external reward helps keep people motivated.

So, what type of reward works best for motivation? The answer depends on the type of motivation. In psychology, motivation is either intrinsic or extrinsic. A recent article on verywellmind.com perfectly explains how rewards impact both types of motivation.

First, it’s important to understand the differences between intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation is internally rewarding. It comes from behaviour that is mostly driven by your self-satisfaction instead of an external reward.

Activities that you engage in for fun are examples of intrinsic motivation. Hobbies are commonly intrinsically motivated. The self-satisfaction that you get from the activity is rewarding enough. Research suggests that adding external rewards on top of internal rewards decreases motivation. Psychologists call this the “over-justification effect”. Your intrinsic enjoyment of a task is sufficient justification for completing it. Adding an external reward creates the perception that the task is over-justified.

Extrinsic motivation comes from a desire to gain external rewards or avoid repercussions. You show up to work to earn money, which is an external reward. If you take away your pay, you’ll likely lack the motivation to go to the office.

 

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However, your performance is also influenced by a variety of intrinsic factors. You likely gain a sense of satisfaction when others recognise your hard work. You may also find completing a challenging work task intrinsically rewarding. If you want more information on how motivation works, read the original article here.

Motivation and self-confidence are closely linked. If you tend to suffer from imposter syndrome, your motivation could be to blame. Self-motivation gives you the drive to set and complete goals. Without this motivation, you may gradually lose confidence in your ability to get things done. Listing the ways that you find your work intrinsically rewarding can boost your motivation in the workplace.

A lack of confidence can also significantly lower your motivation. Without confidence, it’s more of a challenge to stay motivated. Luckily, it’s possible to increase both your motivation and confidence. Choosing the right reward system can boost your motivation to complete tasks. The more you accomplish the more your confidence in your abilities grows.

Building true confidence requires motivation. Based on the article discussed, a reward system is a powerful tool for becoming more motivated. Yet, motivation is only part of the equation for gaining confidence. Neuro-linguistic programming offers a way to reframe your thought patterns, including the way that you think about motivation. Learn how to beat imposter syndrome with my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

Power up your self-worth with this activity from Virginia Satir

Society is obsessed with self-esteem, but what about your self-worth? Your self-worth is vital to your overall happiness, confidence, and mental health. Everyone has self-worth, even if they don’t see it. Psychotherapist Virginia Satir explains that your thoughts and interactions with others are largely influenced by your self-worth. She also explains how to boost your self-worth with a simple visualisation activity.

So, how do you increase your self-worth? A great place to start is with a simple self-esteem-building activity. A recent article on cpydcoalition.org offers the perfect example. It’s an activity featured in Virginia Satir’s article Self-Worth: The Pot Nobody Watches. In this article, she used the metaphor of a pot to represent a person’s self-work. The following activity is based on this idea. As you complete it, you’ll create three separate pots that you fill with negative and positive messages.

First, you need to create a pot of ‘pot drainers. The pot drainers include negative messages. Fill this pot with the self-critical messages that make you feel bad about yourself. This typically includes messages from the inner critic during moments of self-doubt.

The second pot includes ‘pot cleansers’. The pot cleansers are positive messages and thoughts. Think of the things that you like about yourself. Pot cleansers help cleanse the negative thoughts from the previous pot. You can use the positive messages to reframe the negative messages. Balancing these two pots helps transform your outlook on life.

The third pot includes ‘pot fillers.’ The pot fillers are positive messages sent to you from others and yourself. Filling this third pot with compliments and recognition of your skills, abilities, and positive traits.

 

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When your first two pots are balanced and your third pot is full, you’re likely to experience more positivity in your life. You’ll be able to see more opportunities around you instead of feeling stuck in place. For more details, read the original article here.

If you’re a high achiever looking to build greater confidence and broaden your horizons, I highly recommend using Satir’s visualisation activity. Your confidence is linked to your sense of self-worth. If you don’t believe in your skills and abilities, it’s difficult to build confidence. The visualisation activity makes it easier to analyse your self-worth. Combating your negative messages with positive ones reshapes your perception of yourself.

Visualisation activities also give you the tools for boosting confidence in critical situations. You can use your ‘pot cleanser’ pot to replace negative feelings as they occur. You also alter your thought patterns related to how you think others perceive you. Filling your ‘pot fillers’ with positive messages from others provides anchors for maintaining confidence.

One of the main points of Virginia Satir’s visualisation activity is the importance of self-worth. It’s tied to your self-confidence. For best results, I recommend repeating the activity frequently. If you want to explore additional techniques to beat imposter syndrome, I can help. Learn more about my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.