If there’s one thing I’ve learned about working with people, it’s that you should never assume other people think the same way you do. A recent article published in Open Mind shows exactly why that is. It describes a study involving 2,700 participants, which aimed to work out how often thinking patterns ‘line up’ between individuals.

So how did the study work? First, the researchers divided participants into two groups. One group was asked to consider the similarity of animals such as finches, whales and penguins. The other group was asked to assess the similarity of U.S. politicians like George W. Bush, Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Joe Biden. These categories were chosen because people generally have shared concepts about animals, but there is much more variability about their political beliefs.

Participants in both groups were asked to estimate what percentage of people would agree with their individual responses. The results were astonishing. People tended to believe, often incorrectly, that around two-thirds of the population would agree with them. Some individuals believed they were in the majority, even when virtually nobody else agreed with them. This highlights how easy it is to wrongly assume that your beliefs are widely shared.

As they delved deeper, the researchers discovered that disagreements may not always be based on what people think. Often, they stem from a simple misalignment of concepts. The mental groupings and associations we use as ‘shortcuts’ to understand objects, words and events differ significantly from person to person. As one of the researchers pointed out “When people are disagreeing, it may not always be about what they think it is. It could be stemming from something as simple as their concepts not being aligned.”

So, the next time you find yourself in a disagreement, remember that your assumptions about others’ beliefs might not be accurate. Take a moment to consider that differences in concepts and associations can lead to varying perspectives. By acknowledging and respecting these differences, you can prevent unnecessary conflict and foster a better understanding of others. Plus, you just might discover a new way of looking at this wonderful world we live in.

To find out more about this research, read the original article here.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

Ergh. There’s nothing worse than being stuck for words during a difficult conversation. To be assertive and empowered at work, you definitely need to know how to beat the awkward silences and hold your own. Recently I came across a useful article on this topic. It lists several one-liners which can be used to tackle different difficult situations. They are short, powerful and straight to the point, making them perfect for those moments when you need to think on your feet.

As you read the following list, think about writing down the remarks that strike a chord with you, so you have them ready whenever you need them:

1. Why do you ask that?
2. What do you wish to happen now?
3. I’ll have to get back to you on that.
4. I need some time to think about it.
5. That’s not going to work for me, because…

Memorise a few phrases like these, because they will help you speak up assertively. Bear in mind, assertive communication isn’t about being combative or hostile. It’s about finding your voice, openly expressing yourself and standing up for your beliefs. With practice, you’ll become more proficient in the language of assertiveness, allowing you to navigate challenging discussions with composure and assurance.

Check out the original article here for a longer list of one-liners and tips on how to use them effectively. Practice them with a friend or colleague, so you feel more confident using them in real-life situations. Or start using them in your daily interactions to build your assertiveness muscle.

Remember, difficult conversations are a part of life and work, but with the right tools and techniques like these one-liners, you can handle them with ease. So next time you find yourself in a tricky situation, remember to take a deep breath and use one of these powerful phrases to help guide the conversation.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

What you say and how you say it. Both factors influence your success as a leader, so it’s useful to stay up-to-date with communication research. For example, a recent paper revealed some fascinating facts about how small changes in your word choice can make a big impact on your leadership brand.

Researchers found that when people were randomly assigned ‘leadership’ roles, their word choice changed. They tended to use more plural pronouns (we, our, they) than those in lower-status positions (who used “I” more often). These findings highlight the intricate interplay between language, power, and hierarchy.

The study also suggested that pronoun patterns can offer insights into power dynamics in larger social groups, not just teams.  For example,  those who used more first-person singular pronouns (I) were perceived as having less social status, while those using ‘we’ were perceived as having higher status in the group. It is worth noting that the differences in word choice and perception of power were subtle but impactful.

These findings can be applied in various contexts, including when making recommendations, providing advice and leading teams. Understanding how language and communication affect power and hierarchy can help boost your credibility and influence. It can also impact your relationships both at work and in your personal life.

As the author points out, “Understanding the nuances of pronoun usage can help us better navigate social hierarchies and foster effective communication within professional settings.”

Think about this the next time you draft a business email or give a presentation. Are you using inclusive language that acknowledges the contributions of others and promotes a collaborative atmosphere? Or are you unintentionally diminishing your own status by using singular pronouns?

To find out more, read the source article here from Psychology Today.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

Do you want to increase your influence and impact? Then you might be interested in a recent article in the International Small Business Journal. It explains four language strategies that successful entrepreneurs use to  increase their influence. These are all research-based, so  you know they are effective.

1. Help your listener fill in the blanks

According to the article, influential entrepreneurs often leave room for their listeners’ imaginations to fill in details when they’re describing the future. This works because it  allows the listeners to create their own mental images and become invested in the idea or plan. As a result, they are more likely to support it.

2. Turn imagination into reality

Researchers discovered that successful pitches frequently describe an idea as though it already exists.  For example, an entrepreneur might say  “This is how we’re revolutionising communication” instead of  “This idea could revolutionise communication” By using this strategy, the entrepreneur is presenting the idea as a reality and showing confidence in its potential success. This can be very persuasive to investors and other stakeholders.

3. Show you understand their needs

The study of successful entrepreneurs found that they establish connections between their ideas and the needs of their audience. From this, you can learn the value of understanding stakeholders’ needs and showing that you understand  them. This will make you more credible and build trust, ultimately increasing your influence.

4. Use concrete examples

The article also emphasises the importance of using concrete examples to illustrate your ideas. This helps to make abstract concepts more relatable and tangible for listeners, making it easier for them to understand and support your ideas. Additionally, using real-life examples can help to establish credibility and demonstrate the potential success

5. Power up with data

The study revealed that persuasive entrepreneurs are very selective about the data they use to support their arguments. They handpick evidence to  align with their main message. Plus, they only use small amounts of data to avoid overwhelming their audience. This highlights the importance of using data strategically to back up your ideas and make a stronger case for them.

To delve deeper into this fascinating study and learn more about the impact of high-impact language, read the original article here.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

Are you the kind of person who always puts others’ needs before your own? Do you spend your days sorting out people’s problems and being there for them in times of need? If so, you are most likely a people pleaser. Are you known as a ‘people person’ at work? It may come as a surprise that your exceptional skills with people might not be so exceptional for your well-being.

Researcher Gabor Maté has found that certain personality traits seem to appear frequently in people diagnosed with chronic illnesses. One of these traits is having compulsive and automatic concern for others’ emotional needs, often at the expense of your own.

A second trait associated with chronic disease is a rigid identification with societal roles, duties and responsibilities. In other words,  people who are driven to fulfill expectations and conform to societal norms seem to be more prone to chronic illnesses. This doesn’t mean the personality traits cause the illnesses, but there may be a link between them.

So, what does this mean for people-pleasers? It suggests that constantly prioritising others’ needs above your own and being overly focused on meeting societal expectations could be associated with negative health outcomes. This is not to say that being compassionate and responsible is unhealthy, but rather that there needs to be a balance between caring for others and caring for yourself.

It’s essential to find a balance between taking care of yourself and caring for others. Neglecting your own well-being can lead to burnout, stress and lowered wellbeing. It’s crucial to set boundaries and learn to say ‘no’, as constantly saying ‘yes’ can lead to resentment and exhaustion. Additionally, take time for self-care activities that nourish your mind, body and spirit. Allow yourself to relax without feeling guilty or selfish.

So, the next time you catch yourself placing everyone else’s needs before your own, remember that self-care isn’t selfish. Pause for a moment, reflect on your well-being and consider setting boundaries that allow you to put yourself first.

To find out more about this thought-provoking research on the hidden dangers of being too nice, you can read the complete article by Gabor Maté here.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

Can you win an argument without raising your voice? According to the article in the Guardian, the answer is yes. Here are six ways to do it:

1. Use facts and statistics.
2. Use authority figures or experts.
3. Appeal to emotion.
4. Use humour.
5. Be persistent.
6. Use force (or the threat of force). These techniques can be useful for business owners, managers and supervisors who need to resolve disagreements or disputes with employees, clients or suppliers. By using these methods, you can stay in control of the situation and achieve a positive outcome.

While some of these tactics may work in certain situations, they’re not always effective – and they can even backfire if used incorrectly. For example, making someone feel stupid can lead to them digging their heels in, while attacking their character can make them less likely to listen to your arguments in the future.

That said, there are some tactics that are worth using more often than others. Facts and statistics, for example, can be very persuasive – especially if they’re presented in a clear and concise way. And humour can be a great way to lighten the mood – provided it’s not at someone else’s expense.

If you need someone to do something they’re reluctant to do, such as take on extra work or come in on a weekend, using facts and statistics can be persuasive. You can point out that the extra work is necessary for the company to meet its goals or that other employees have already agreed to do it. If you need to make a tough decision, using authority figures or experts can help convince others that you’re making the right choice. And if you need to get people on your side during a negotiation, appealing to their emotions can be very effective.

Of course, getting what you want isn’t always easy – it often takes persistence and sometimes force (or the threat of force) is necessary. But knowing these six techniques can give you a leg up in any argument.

It’s important to remember that there is no “one size fits all” approach when it comes to influencing people – what works in one situation may not work in another. However, by understanding the different techniques available to you and using them intelligently, you can dramatically increase your chances of getting what you want.

Overall, this article is a great resource for anyone who wants to be more persuasive in their dealings with others. It’s full of practical advice that can be put into action immediately.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2019/jun/30/the-science-of-influencing-people-six-ways-to-win-an-argument

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

Have you ever had an idea for progress but feel like it’s not being heard when you present it to your boss? It can be incredibly frustrating and disheartening, especially when the same ideas are proposed by another person and suddenly get the green light. In an article Influencing Upward: The Skill You Need to Get Ahead, it provides invaluable advice on how managers, business owners, and supervisors can better influence decision makers in their workplace.

It outlines three key strategies for achieving this goal and getting ideas across effectively. Firstly, encourage readers to create a positive relationship with their boss by gaining intel on any goals or challenges they may have. Secondly, readers ‘earn the right’ to discuss their idea with their boss; this involves coming armed with data and facts that support the proposed solution. Thirdly, every idea should be presented in terms of value delivery – showing how the proposed solution would benefit everyone involved in the project. Linking ideas back to core objectives encourages understanding from decision makers and makes them more likely to agree with suggestions.

The article also mentions the need to develop a sense of empathy in order to gain trust and build a better relationship with decision makers. Knowing how they think and understanding their individual preferences helps readers create an approach that resonates with them, which could prove essential in getting ideas accepted.

Having a good understanding of your immediate superiors’ needs helps create a level of trust between both parties which is crucial for getting ideas across effectively. Showing that you have done research into the problem and developed a feasible solution demonstrates that you’re capable of innovative thinking; this also shows ambition and respect for your employer which will further increase your chance of success. Being able to clearly explain how an idea can help achieve objectives is essential for conveying its merits – if there isn’t any evidence of tangible benefits from an idea then decision makers won’t take it seriously.

This article provides sound advice for anyone looking for ways to get ahead in business. By forming strong relationships with superiors, taking initiative through research and offering creative solutions underlined by value delivery – managers, business owners, and supervisors alike can learn how to better influence decision makers at work.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.themuse.com/advice/influencing-upward-the-skill-you-need-to-get-ahead

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

How can speaking truth to power help your career? That is the question that this article for SHRM seeks to answer. According to this article, there are four key benefits to speaking truth to power: gaining influence, developing relationships, increasing your credibility and gaining knowledge.

First step is to understand what truth-telling is and what it is not. Truth-telling is about candour and speaking up when something isn’t right. It’s about being honest with yourself and others, even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s also about holding yourself and others accountable.

Truth-telling is not about being a bully, being negative, or stirring up trouble. It’s also not about speaking out of turn or going against the company’s policies.

So how can managers start speaking truth to power in their own workplaces? Shakiba offers five tips:

1) Start with yourself: Be honest with yourself, and admit when you’re wrong. Be willing to change your mind and be open to new information.

2) Speak up: When you see something that isn’t right, speak up. Don’t stay silent just because it’s uncomfortable or you’re afraid of repercussions.

3) Build relationships of trust: Establish trust with your team by being honest and transparent yourself. Share information openly, listen attentively, and be respectful.

4) Set the example: Lead by example, and show your team that you value accountability and honesty. Model the behaviour you want them to emulate.

5) Hold people accountable: Demand accountability from your team members, and don’t be afraid to call them out when they fall short. Reward them when they do well.

Each of these benefits are important for career success. Gaining influence allows you to get things done and get your ideas heard. Developing relationships helps you build a support network of people who can help you advance in your career. Increasing your credibility makes people more likely to trust you and take your ideas seriously. And gaining knowledge allows you to stay ahead of the curve and be better equipped to handle challenges in your career. Speaking truth to power is not always easy, but it can be a powerful tool for career success.

Find our more in the original article here: https://www.shrm.org/hr-today/news/hr-magazine/fall2022/Pages/speaking-truth-to-power.aspx

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

Do you know what it takes to be a successful leader? According to this recent article by Lolly Daskal, it takes seven powerful habits. This article outlines these habits and explains how they can help managers, business owners, and supervisors become more assertive.

The seven habits listed in this article will help you become more assertive and successful. They are:

The first habit is knowing your wants. You need to take some time for introspection and honestly ask yourself what you want out of life. Once you know your wants, the next step is to come up with a plan on how to get them. This usually involves setting goals and creating a roadmap to achieving them.

The second habit is self-awareness. You need to be aware of your strengths, weaknesses, and triggers. Knowing this information will help you stay in control during challenging situations.

The third habit is managing your emotions. It’s important to not let your emotions get the best of you. Stay calm and focused when things get tough.

The fourth habit is self-confidence. Believe https://www.lollydaskal.com/leadership/7-powerful-habits-that-make-you-more-assertive

The fifth habit is communication skills. Learning how to communicate effectively will help you get your point across while maintaining relationships.

The sixth habit is assertiveness. Be assertive in your actions and words; this will help you get what you want while still respecting others’ rights and feelings.

The seventh and final habit is responsibility. Take responsibility for your own happiness and success; don’t rely on others to do it for you.

Each of these habits is explained in detail, and includes examples of how to apply them in your own life. For example, under the habit “take action”, the article recommends breaking down your goals into small steps so that you can make progress every day. This is a great way to stay motivated and on track. Assertiveness skills are important because they allow leaders to communicate effectively, set boundaries, and stand up for what they believe in. Leaders who possess these skills are more likely to succeed than those who do not.

These seven habits will help you become more assertive in any situation. But why should managers, business owners and supervisors care? Because being more assertive can lead to better decisions, improved communication and better relationships with employees and customers. So try out these habits and see how they work for you.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.lollydaskal.com/leadership/7-powerful-habits-that-make-you-more-assertive

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

Can hypnosis help you to achieve your goals? According to the article on Scienceholic.org, the answer is yes. Hypnosis is a technique that can be used to reprogram your subconscious mind in order to achieve your goals. It can help you to overcome any obstacles that are holding you back and it can help you to stay focused on your goals.

Hypnosis is a trance-like state in which a person is more open to suggestion. It has been used for centuries to help people with various issues, such as weight loss, quitting smoking and reducing stress. More recently, hypnosis has been studied as a potential tool for improving work performance.

Studies have shown that hypnosis can improve task performance and increase motivation. In one study, participants who were hypnotised were able to complete a task faster and with fewer errors than those who were not hypnotized. In another study, participants who were hypnotised reported feeling more motivated to work and were more productive than those who were not hypnotised.

So how can you use this information to become a better leader? Here are three tips:

1. Reduce stress with hypnosis. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a few minutes to hypnotise yourself and clear your mind. This will help you focus on the task at hand.
2. Use hypnosis to increase self-awareness. When you know your triggers and how to deal with them, you’re less likely to let them impact your work.
3. Practice self-hypnosis regularly. The more often you use hypnosis, the better you’ll become at it. This will help you stay calm and focused under pressure.

So how can hypnosis help managers, business owners and supervisors? Hypnosis is a powerful tool that can be used to enhance leadership abilities and increase overall team productivity in any type of organisation or business setting. It provides an effective way for managers, business owners and supervisors to gain insight into their own thoughts and feelings so they can realise greater success in their pursuits as leaders.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.scienceholic.org/post/the-science-behind-hypnosis

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.