Are you the kind of person who always puts others’ needs before your own? Do you spend your days sorting out people’s problems and being there for them in times of need? If so, you are most likely a people pleaser. Are you known as a ‘people person’ at work? It may come as a surprise that your exceptional skills with people might not be so exceptional for your well-being.

Researcher Gabor Maté has found that certain personality traits seem to appear frequently in people diagnosed with chronic illnesses. One of these traits is having compulsive and automatic concern for others’ emotional needs, often at the expense of your own.

A second trait associated with chronic disease is a rigid identification with societal roles, duties and responsibilities. In other words,  people who are driven to fulfill expectations and conform to societal norms seem to be more prone to chronic illnesses. This doesn’t mean the personality traits cause the illnesses, but there may be a link between them.

So, what does this mean for people-pleasers? It suggests that constantly prioritising others’ needs above your own and being overly focused on meeting societal expectations could be associated with negative health outcomes. This is not to say that being compassionate and responsible is unhealthy, but rather that there needs to be a balance between caring for others and caring for yourself.

It’s essential to find a balance between taking care of yourself and caring for others. Neglecting your own well-being can lead to burnout, stress and lowered wellbeing. It’s crucial to set boundaries and learn to say ‘no’, as constantly saying ‘yes’ can lead to resentment and exhaustion. Additionally, take time for self-care activities that nourish your mind, body and spirit. Allow yourself to relax without feeling guilty or selfish.

So, the next time you catch yourself placing everyone else’s needs before your own, remember that self-care isn’t selfish. Pause for a moment, reflect on your well-being and consider setting boundaries that allow you to put yourself first.

To find out more about this thought-provoking research on the hidden dangers of being too nice, you can read the complete article by Gabor Maté here.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

Can you win an argument without raising your voice? According to the article in the Guardian, the answer is yes. Here are six ways to do it:

1. Use facts and statistics.
2. Use authority figures or experts.
3. Appeal to emotion.
4. Use humour.
5. Be persistent.
6. Use force (or the threat of force). These techniques can be useful for business owners, managers and supervisors who need to resolve disagreements or disputes with employees, clients or suppliers. By using these methods, you can stay in control of the situation and achieve a positive outcome.

While some of these tactics may work in certain situations, they’re not always effective – and they can even backfire if used incorrectly. For example, making someone feel stupid can lead to them digging their heels in, while attacking their character can make them less likely to listen to your arguments in the future.

That said, there are some tactics that are worth using more often than others. Facts and statistics, for example, can be very persuasive – especially if they’re presented in a clear and concise way. And humour can be a great way to lighten the mood – provided it’s not at someone else’s expense.

If you need someone to do something they’re reluctant to do, such as take on extra work or come in on a weekend, using facts and statistics can be persuasive. You can point out that the extra work is necessary for the company to meet its goals or that other employees have already agreed to do it. If you need to make a tough decision, using authority figures or experts can help convince others that you’re making the right choice. And if you need to get people on your side during a negotiation, appealing to their emotions can be very effective.

Of course, getting what you want isn’t always easy – it often takes persistence and sometimes force (or the threat of force) is necessary. But knowing these six techniques can give you a leg up in any argument.

It’s important to remember that there is no “one size fits all” approach when it comes to influencing people – what works in one situation may not work in another. However, by understanding the different techniques available to you and using them intelligently, you can dramatically increase your chances of getting what you want.

Overall, this article is a great resource for anyone who wants to be more persuasive in their dealings with others. It’s full of practical advice that can be put into action immediately.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.theguardian.com/science/2019/jun/30/the-science-of-influencing-people-six-ways-to-win-an-argument

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

Have you ever had an idea for progress but feel like it’s not being heard when you present it to your boss? It can be incredibly frustrating and disheartening, especially when the same ideas are proposed by another person and suddenly get the green light. In an article Influencing Upward: The Skill You Need to Get Ahead, it provides invaluable advice on how managers, business owners, and supervisors can better influence decision makers in their workplace.

It outlines three key strategies for achieving this goal and getting ideas across effectively. Firstly, encourage readers to create a positive relationship with their boss by gaining intel on any goals or challenges they may have. Secondly, readers ‘earn the right’ to discuss their idea with their boss; this involves coming armed with data and facts that support the proposed solution. Thirdly, every idea should be presented in terms of value delivery – showing how the proposed solution would benefit everyone involved in the project. Linking ideas back to core objectives encourages understanding from decision makers and makes them more likely to agree with suggestions.

The article also mentions the need to develop a sense of empathy in order to gain trust and build a better relationship with decision makers. Knowing how they think and understanding their individual preferences helps readers create an approach that resonates with them, which could prove essential in getting ideas accepted.

Having a good understanding of your immediate superiors’ needs helps create a level of trust between both parties which is crucial for getting ideas across effectively. Showing that you have done research into the problem and developed a feasible solution demonstrates that you’re capable of innovative thinking; this also shows ambition and respect for your employer which will further increase your chance of success. Being able to clearly explain how an idea can help achieve objectives is essential for conveying its merits – if there isn’t any evidence of tangible benefits from an idea then decision makers won’t take it seriously.

This article provides sound advice for anyone looking for ways to get ahead in business. By forming strong relationships with superiors, taking initiative through research and offering creative solutions underlined by value delivery – managers, business owners, and supervisors alike can learn how to better influence decision makers at work.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.themuse.com/advice/influencing-upward-the-skill-you-need-to-get-ahead

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

How can speaking truth to power help your career? That is the question that this article for SHRM seeks to answer. According to this article, there are four key benefits to speaking truth to power: gaining influence, developing relationships, increasing your credibility and gaining knowledge.

First step is to understand what truth-telling is and what it is not. Truth-telling is about candour and speaking up when something isn’t right. It’s about being honest with yourself and others, even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s also about holding yourself and others accountable.

Truth-telling is not about being a bully, being negative, or stirring up trouble. It’s also not about speaking out of turn or going against the company’s policies.

So how can managers start speaking truth to power in their own workplaces? Shakiba offers five tips:

1) Start with yourself: Be honest with yourself, and admit when you’re wrong. Be willing to change your mind and be open to new information.

2) Speak up: When you see something that isn’t right, speak up. Don’t stay silent just because it’s uncomfortable or you’re afraid of repercussions.

3) Build relationships of trust: Establish trust with your team by being honest and transparent yourself. Share information openly, listen attentively, and be respectful.

4) Set the example: Lead by example, and show your team that you value accountability and honesty. Model the behaviour you want them to emulate.

5) Hold people accountable: Demand accountability from your team members, and don’t be afraid to call them out when they fall short. Reward them when they do well.

Each of these benefits are important for career success. Gaining influence allows you to get things done and get your ideas heard. Developing relationships helps you build a support network of people who can help you advance in your career. Increasing your credibility makes people more likely to trust you and take your ideas seriously. And gaining knowledge allows you to stay ahead of the curve and be better equipped to handle challenges in your career. Speaking truth to power is not always easy, but it can be a powerful tool for career success.

Find our more in the original article here: https://www.shrm.org/hr-today/news/hr-magazine/fall2022/Pages/speaking-truth-to-power.aspx

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

Do you know what it takes to be a successful leader? According to this recent article by Lolly Daskal, it takes seven powerful habits. This article outlines these habits and explains how they can help managers, business owners, and supervisors become more assertive.

The seven habits listed in this article will help you become more assertive and successful. They are:

The first habit is knowing your wants. You need to take some time for introspection and honestly ask yourself what you want out of life. Once you know your wants, the next step is to come up with a plan on how to get them. This usually involves setting goals and creating a roadmap to achieving them.

The second habit is self-awareness. You need to be aware of your strengths, weaknesses, and triggers. Knowing this information will help you stay in control during challenging situations.

The third habit is managing your emotions. It’s important to not let your emotions get the best of you. Stay calm and focused when things get tough.

The fourth habit is self-confidence. Believe https://www.lollydaskal.com/leadership/7-powerful-habits-that-make-you-more-assertive

The fifth habit is communication skills. Learning how to communicate effectively will help you get your point across while maintaining relationships.

The sixth habit is assertiveness. Be assertive in your actions and words; this will help you get what you want while still respecting others’ rights and feelings.

The seventh and final habit is responsibility. Take responsibility for your own happiness and success; don’t rely on others to do it for you.

Each of these habits is explained in detail, and includes examples of how to apply them in your own life. For example, under the habit “take action”, the article recommends breaking down your goals into small steps so that you can make progress every day. This is a great way to stay motivated and on track. Assertiveness skills are important because they allow leaders to communicate effectively, set boundaries, and stand up for what they believe in. Leaders who possess these skills are more likely to succeed than those who do not.

These seven habits will help you become more assertive in any situation. But why should managers, business owners and supervisors care? Because being more assertive can lead to better decisions, improved communication and better relationships with employees and customers. So try out these habits and see how they work for you.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.lollydaskal.com/leadership/7-powerful-habits-that-make-you-more-assertive

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

Can hypnosis help you to achieve your goals? According to the article on Scienceholic.org, the answer is yes. Hypnosis is a technique that can be used to reprogram your subconscious mind in order to achieve your goals. It can help you to overcome any obstacles that are holding you back and it can help you to stay focused on your goals.

Hypnosis is a trance-like state in which a person is more open to suggestion. It has been used for centuries to help people with various issues, such as weight loss, quitting smoking and reducing stress. More recently, hypnosis has been studied as a potential tool for improving work performance.

Studies have shown that hypnosis can improve task performance and increase motivation. In one study, participants who were hypnotised were able to complete a task faster and with fewer errors than those who were not hypnotized. In another study, participants who were hypnotised reported feeling more motivated to work and were more productive than those who were not hypnotised.

So how can you use this information to become a better leader? Here are three tips:

1. Reduce stress with hypnosis. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a few minutes to hypnotise yourself and clear your mind. This will help you focus on the task at hand.
2. Use hypnosis to increase self-awareness. When you know your triggers and how to deal with them, you’re less likely to let them impact your work.
3. Practice self-hypnosis regularly. The more often you use hypnosis, the better you’ll become at it. This will help you stay calm and focused under pressure.

So how can hypnosis help managers, business owners and supervisors? Hypnosis is a powerful tool that can be used to enhance leadership abilities and increase overall team productivity in any type of organisation or business setting. It provides an effective way for managers, business owners and supervisors to gain insight into their own thoughts and feelings so they can realise greater success in their pursuits as leaders.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.scienceholic.org/post/the-science-behind-hypnosis

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

Do you want to know how to become a more effective leader and boost your leadership presence? Carol Kinsey Goman, in her article on Forbes.com, ‘5 Ways to Instantly Increase Your Leadership Presence’ outlines five simple yet highly effective strategies that any manager, business owner or supervisor can use to improve their ability to lead and command respect from those around them.

The first piece of advice Goman offers is for leaders to be mindful of their body language, as nonverbal communication has a huge impact on how we are perceived by others. One should always keep an open posture with arms uncrossed so as not to appear closed off or unapproachable. Furthermore, the establishment of solid eye contact at the beginning and end of conversations; this will show confidence and allow for better trust between the speaker and listener.

Another strategy is learning how to manage one’s emotions effectively; this includes both managing one’s own feelings as well as understanding the emotions of those around us. This involves accurately reading facial expressions and other body language cues in order to gain a better insight into other people’s feelings which can be difficult but essential for strong leadership. Additionally, projecting strength through voice modulation; speaking with a confident tone conveys authority and will inspire trust from others.

Goman also encourages leaders to practice active listening; engaging with others by not only hearing what they say but also considering their words carefully before responding will demonstrate respect for their opinion as well as help build long-term relationships based on mutual trust. Finally, she suggests that leaders dress appropriately; dressing professionally demonstrates respect both for oneself as well as those whom they are leading.

By following these five simple steps, leaders can improve their presence and ensure respect from those around them. It is essential for any successful leader to understand the importance of body language, emotion regulation and communication in order to build strong relationships with colleagues. Therefore, implementing Goman’s advice is a great first step towards becoming an effective leader.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolkinseygoman/2016/01/18/5-ways-to-instantly-increase-your-leadership-presence/?sh=1e2374307321

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

Have you ever struggled to convince someone to do something that you think is the right decision? If so, then understanding persuasive writing techniques becomes incredibly important. This article in Conversions Sciences discusses the science of persuasion and outlines nine key tactics that can be used when trying to get someone to agree with your opinion.

The article explains how any manager, business owner or supervisor should always strive for credibility and trust when crafting persuasive messages. It also stresses the importance of understanding who your audience is in order to craft an argument tailored specifically for them. As well as this, it suggests using storytelling as a method of delivering your message as it allows people to relate more effectively and understand why doing something is beneficial for them.

The power of consistency and commitment when convincing someone. It is important to show evidence-based proof of your claims, while also making sure your requests are more likely to be fulfilled if they are able to be done quickly and easily. Additionally, she advises using scarcity tactics, anchoring effects and personalisation whenever possible. All these points help build momentum which increases the chance of persuasion success.

The article concludes by reminding managers that persuasion isn’t about manipulation or tricking people into doing things; instead, it’s about finding creative ways to communicate ideas in a way that resonates with their goals and needs. In order for any message or request be effective it needs to demonstrate value and make clear why following through on something is worthwhile in the long run. Being aware of these techniques can help leaders get better results from their teams or even customers.

Persuasion isn’t just an art; it’s backed up by science too!  By understanding persuasive writing techniques, managers and business owners can craft arguments that are more likely to be accepted by their intended audience. Understanding your goals and the needs of your audience is the first step in creating a successful persuasive message that drives desired outcomes.

Using these strategies will help you effectively create a persuasive argument and get people to agree with your opinion. Remember to focus on credibility, trust and understanding your audience when creating persuasive messages. Additionally, use storytelling and evidence-based proof whenever possible to increase the chance of persuasion success. Lastly, demonstrate value and make clear why following through on something is worthwhile in the long run.

Find out more in the original article here: https://conversionsciences.com/persuasive-writing-techniques/

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

Are you an optimist or a pessimist? Can optimism be learned? According to this article, the answer is yes. Here are seven tips to increase your optimism and why it’s important.

In short, optimism makes you happier and healthier. It helps you bounce back from setbacks, makes you more resilient, and increases your productivity. It also makes you more attractive to others – both personally and professionally.

So how can you become more optimistic?

1) Be mindful of your thoughts – pay attention to the language you use when thinking about yourself and others. For example, instead of thinking “I’m so stupid,” reframe that thought to “I made a mistake.”

2) Practice gratitude – be thankful for what you have, both big and small. This includes being grateful for the good moments as well as the bad moments, because they all make us who we are.

3) Take care of yourself – eat healthy foods, get enough sleep, exercise regularly, and take time for yourself. All of these things help boost your mood and increase your resilience.

4) Challenge yourself – set goals for yourself and push yourself to achieve them. This will help you feel more in control of your life and increase your sense of accomplishment.

5) Connect with others – social support is crucial for happiness and wellbeing. Reach out to your friends and family members, join a supportive online community, or seek out a therapist or life coach if you need extra support.

6) Look on the bright side – when something bad happens, try to find a silver lining. This may not be easy at first, but with practice it becomes easier. And eventually, looking on the bright side will become second nature to you.

7) Stay positive – above all else, remember to stay positive! Positivity breeds positivity, so keep your mind focused on the good things in life.”

So why should managers, business owners and supervisors care about being optimists? Optimists are more successful than pessimists because they:

• Tend to have better mental and physical health
• Have better relationships
• Are more creative
• Are more productive
• Make better decisions
• Are less stressed
• Are less likely to give up in the face of failure

If you’re a manager, business owner or supervisor, it’s important to be an optimist because it will make you a more successful leader. Positivity breeds success so if you want your team to be successful, you need to be positive yourself.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/optimism/7-tips-to-increase-your-optimism-why-its-important/

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

How do you build and maintain credibility as a leader? In order to be a credible leader, you need to be authentic, passionate, knowledgeable, consistent, humble and strategic. Let’s take a closer look at each of these tips.

1. Be authentic: People can see through inauthenticity, so it’s important to be genuine in your interactions with others. Wear your heart on your sleeve and let your true personality show. This will make you more likable and trustworthy.
2. Be passionate: When you’re truly passionate about something, it shows. Share your enthusiasm for your work with others and let them see the dedication that you have to your goals. This will inspire them to want to work with you and help you achieve your objectives.
3. Be knowledgeable: It’s important to know what you’re talking about if you want people to take you seriously. Be sure to do your research and have a firm understanding of the topics that you’re discussing. If you don’t know something, say so and admit when you don’t have all the answers.
4. Be consistent: People need stability in their lives and they appreciate consistency in their leaders. Be reliable and predictable in your actions so that people can count on you to follow through on what you say.
5. Be humble: No one likes a bossy boots, so remember to keep your ego in check. Modesty is key when it comes to being a credible leader. Let your accomplishments speak for themselves and avoid taking all the credit for yourself.
6. Be strategic: Plans are only successful if they are executed well, so it’s important to be thoughtful and deliberate when making decisions. Take the time to consider all of the possible outcomes before making a move and make sure that your actions are aligned with your goals

So how can you make sure that you are seen as credible? One key is to be honest and authentic in your actions and communications. Don’t try to be someone you’re not; people will see through that quickly. Stay true to your values and beliefs, and let your actions reflect them. It’s also important to be consistent in your behaviour; if you say one thing but do another, people will lose faith in you.

You can also build credibility by being helpful. Offer your knowledge and expertise freely, and be willing to help others achieve their goals. And finally, don’t be arrogant or self-important. Remember that you’re not the only one who can lead; there is always room for improvement. humility is a key trait of successful leaders.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.forbes.com/sites/brentgleeson/2016/07/08/6-tips-for-building-and-maintaining-credibility-as-a-leader/?sh=4d3b0c8d3424

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.