Category: POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY

What’s the simplest thing you can do to improve your relationships? Positive psychology trainers say that the first step is to focus on building rapport. In positive psychology, rapport is an essential component to building meaningful relationships. This is a key part of fulfilment and achieving a flourishing state. Unfortunately, most people receive very little education in building connections with others. But you can learn to build rapport at any stage of your life.  

Rapport is state of deep connection with another person. It’s essential for trust and understanding. Building rapport involves creating a harmonious relationship with someone else. Some people are naturally better at building rapport than others. However, it is a skill that can be learned using the rapport building model. Positive psychology trainers use this model to help professionals create positive workplace relationships easily.  

The rapport model involves a variety of techniques for gaining mutual attentiveness, coordination and positivity with others. Matching and mirroring are two widely used strategies. They involve synchronising your verbal and nonverbal behaviours with someone else. To mirror effectively, you need to pay attention to their patterns of thinking and behaviour. Mirroring creates a subconscious connection between you. People tend to have positive feelings when talking with someone that mirrors their behaviour. 

Of course, mirroring is not the same as mimicking. You do not directly copy the other person’s behaviour, as this may come across as mockery. You subtly match their posture, gestures, energy level and even the rhythm of their breath. 

Discovering these subtle cues requires you to pay close attention to the other individual. Instead of passively listening, you need to remain fully focused on the other person.  

Also pay attention to the person’s posture and gestures. Do they use their arms and hands when talking? If so, copy the behaviour. This is a technique that positive psychology trainers recommend using with subtlety. After all, you want to create a psychologically safe environment. So, it is important not to be too obvious when matching a conversation partner’s movements. Aim to match patterns of movement rather than specific gestures.  If the person remains relatively still, avoid sudden movements. Matching someone’s energy level is also important. When talking to someone that is shy or timid, high-energy behaviour may be off-putting.  

In a professional setting, mirroring can help individuals achieve a quick rapport with colleagues or clients, but it is not the only technique. Follow these methods, which form the basis of techniques taught by positive psychology trainers.  

• Actively listen and observe to pick up on the other person’s demeanour and mannerisms for mirroring 
• Ask open-ended questions to uncover personal information and background details for building rapport 
• Try to find common ground, such as a shared interest, hobby, or skill, helping to create an instant connection 
• Invite a colleague or team to lunch to escape the workplace setting and put them at ease 
• Continue to build shared experiences, such as lunchtime getaways or working on the same project, as rapport requires continued interaction 

Building rapport may come naturally or require hard work, depending on the individuals involved. Keep in mind that developing a stronger rapport may not happen overnight. If you struggle to make a connection with someone, remember to try mirroring their behaviour. Active listening and patience are also important to the process.  

About the author of this article: 

Eleanor Shakiba is a positive psychology trainer. She has been training and coaching ‘positive deviants’ since 1994. She delivers customised workshops for corporate teams, as well as practitioner level programs for HR and L&D specialists. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She also runs a range of retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators. 

Martin Seligman’s PERMA system is an evidence-based model for helping people thrive. It provides a formula for creating personal engagement and wellbeing. PERMA is an acronym. It stands for positive emotions, engagement, relationships, meaning and accomplishment. Each element is clearly linked to personal wellbeing. So how can you build the elements of PERMA into your life? Here are some simple tips to help you get started.

• Boost your positive emotions by consciously focusing on them. This helps you amplify uplifting feelings and experience them more frequently.
• Deliberately increase your positivity ratio by sharing good news, expressing gratitude and using positive language.
• Heighten your sense of engagement, by doing more of what you love.
• Foster positive relationships by spending time with people who energise and inspire you.
• Find ways to be altruistic.
• Build your sense of purpose and passion by committing to what really matters to you. Fill your professional and personal life with meaningful activities.
• Develop a sense of accomplishment by taking on challenges and building your skills.

Take the elements of PERMA and apply them in your workplace. You will soon find you are happier and flourishing – so success comes easily.

About the author of this tip:

Eleanor is a master trainer and coach. She trains savvy professionals in a range of sectors – including higher education, health, finance and local government – in the use of positive psychology tools and techniques. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She runs specialist training for facilitators and trainers, as well as delivering customised training for corporate teams.

Want training on how to help your team flourish? Call Eleanor Shakiba. 0433 126 841

Here’s some interesting evidence that visualisation techniques can create concrete results. It comes from a positive psychology study on how to integrate gratitude techniques into daily life. A group of undergraduates were asked to be thankful more often. This sounds like a simple task – but because it involved remembering to change their behaviour, it posed a challenge.  So the researchers taught the students to visualise their best possible selves in expressing gratitude.  This simple mental exercise led to an immediate improvement in their ability to apply gratitude activities in everyday situations.

If you’re a fan of NLP or positive psychology, you probably already use visualisation or mindfulness exercises. So it’s great to see some evidence emerging that your efforts are worthwhile.

About the author of this fast fact:

Eleanor Shakiba is passionate about helping talented people flourish professionally. She coaches and trains high performers who want to excel in business. Her core expertise is in positive psychology. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She also runs master practitioner level retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators.

Clients often ask me to recommend a great book on positive psychology. Flourish is the text I most frequently suggest they read. It is a positive psychology classic and is a useful resource for both personal and organisational development.  

Flourish covers techniques you can use to live with happiness, purpose and optimism. The state of flourishing is compared to that of languishing (being okay but not reaching your full potential). It is full of tips for shifting your own mindset and being a positive influence on the people you come into contact with throughout your life.  

Add Flourish to your bookshelf if you’re interested in the science of human well-being, happiness and resilience. And if you get the chance to see the author – Martin Seligman – speaking, make sure you grab the opportunity.  

About the author of this review 

Eleanor Shakiba teaches smart professionals to build positive thinking and communication habits. Since 1994, she has been teaching talented people – like you- how to think, communicate and behave in ways that build success.  Eleanor holds qualifications in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. Her area of specialisation is using positive psychology to equip organisations and teams for success.  

Mental toughness is closely linked to resilience at work. So leaders and human resource practitioners should be very interested in this positive psychology case study. Sandy Gordon is a professional sports psychologist. He conducted an experiment in using strengths based coaching techniques, whilst working with professional cricketers in Perth. There were wildly positive results, which showed that mental toughness can be learned – it is not simply something you are born with. Gordon developed the SOAR approach when working with the team. This stands for:

• Strengths – What are the current strong suits of the team? What do you do as a team that’s already working great?
• Opportunities – What are the opportunities the team presents? What skills would improve teamwork moving forward?
• Aspirations – Who are you as a team? What would you like to become? What models of positive psychology support these aspirations?
• Results – How will you measure your success? What positive traits can you establish to make sure you are on track with your goals?

Using this approach helped the crickers shift their thinking and focus on how they could draw on each team member’s strengths. One of the participants in the program (a senior cricketer) summed up the difference the program made. He said “I much prefer the idea of spending the majority of my time realising my strengths rather than trying to fix weaker areas.” This backs up the positive psychology approach to coaching, which emphasises the importance of building strengths rather than attempting to overcome weaknesses.

The evidence is clear. Focusing on a team’s can go a long way in building mental toughness. Leaders, coaches and positive psychology trainers should keep this in mind when working to build individual capabilities and organisational success.

For more great positive psychology case studies, follow Eleanor Shakiba on Facebook or LinkedIn today!

About the author of this article:

Eleanor Shakiba is a specialist in positive psychology training. She works with people in high intellect professions – such as academia, education, project management, research and development and engineering. Her skills in interactive training make Eleanor a highly sought-after facilitator. Eleanor is author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She also provides master practitioner workshops for trainers and facilitators.

Thriving in organisations requires vitality and learning. Without these characteristics, organisations experience stagnation. Research suggests that thriving at work brings greater happiness, job satisfaction and positive outcomes. The research comes from the work of Gretchen Spreitzer and Kathleen Sutcliffe. They define thriving as being productive, enthusiastic and valued. The combination of positive emotions and positive work performance is also called flourishing.

In contrast to flourishing, Spreitzer and Sutcliffe define “slow death” as hopelessness, meaninglessness and desperation. To achieve a flourishing state and thrive within an organisation, Spreitzer and Sutcliffe argue that individuals need several things.

• A climate of respect and trust
• Positive effective resources
• Knowledge in their field
• Positive work behaviour

The combination of these features and experience lead to vitality and learning, which results in individual thriving outcomes. Individual thriving does not automatically equal collective thriving.

Individual employees may thrive without their efforts benefiting the whole organisation. An organisation can also thrive without its employees thriving.

For the collective thriving, Spreitzer and Sutcliffe believe that employees need to remain energised and continue to learn. This requires higher authorities to focus on creating more positive emotions in the workplace, which brings enthusiasm to the team. Some of the elements needed to create a more positive work environment include:

• Expressing gratitude
• Giving feedback instead of criticism
• Maintaining a positive vibe

Leaders help set the tone for the entire organisation. Setting a positive tone should have a ripple effect throughout the group. Spreitzer and her colleagues believe that creating a positive organisation is essential for the success of workers and teams. The bottom line is that thriving at work requires a positive work environment, trust, fairness and dignity. To learn how to promote these elements in your workplace, book a session with Think Learn Succeed.

About the author of this article:

Eleanor Shakiba is a positive psychology trainer. She teaches smart professionals to build positive thinking, communication and leadership habits. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She is an expert in experiential training and delivers dynamic and engaging training for corporate clients.

Every individual strives for positive wellbeing. Workplaces aim for a thriving and happy work culture. This can be achieved more easily through the PERMA model. Developed by Martin Seligman, the PERMA model is an acronym for the five pillars of wellbeing:

• Positive emotions: good feelings
• Engagement: interaction with work, hobbies and other activities
• Relationships: connecting with others in an authentic way
• Meaning: feeling that one’s life has a purpose
• Accomplishment: feeling good about one’s achievements and successes

Developed as an evidence-based model, research shows the huge impact of PERMA on positivity. Finding success in each of the five pillars of this model leads to flourishing. Do you want to increase happiness and resilience in your team? Apply PERMA and you will.

About the author of this fun fact:

Eleanor Shakiba is a master trainer. She specialises in positive psychology techniques such as positive deviance, learned optimism and positive leadership. Eleanor can help you and your people build a thriving business, using evidence-based tools. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She also runs a range of retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators.

Want to build greater job satisfaction and commitment in your team? Then you need to ensure everyone feels connected and engaged. These are just two of five factors that help people flourish at work. When this happens, the organisation blossoms and the people within it are engaged and motivated to succeed.  

So what is flourishing and how can you build an organisational culture in which everyone thrives? In positive psychology, flourishing refers to more than just increased happiness or well-being. It means finding fulfilment in life. This includes developing meaningful relationships and accomplishing worthwhile tasks.  

The concept of flourishing has been extensively researched by positive psychology researcher, Martin Seligman. He developed the PERMA model to help people flourish and thrive. This model is used by positive psychology trainers and educators across the world. PERMA stands for five factors which contribute to human wellbeing.  

• Positive emotions 
• Engagement 
• Relationships 
• Meaning 
• Accomplishments 

When the PERMA conditions are absent, people are more likely to languish than to thrive.  Languishing refers to a state where someone feels empty or hollow. Employees that languish may feel that their work has no purpose or direction. Although all their physical needs are met, they are not fully content. Those that flourish are very different. They feel a sense of purpose and engagement – they believe their work contributes to something important.  

Corey Keyes developed criteria for measuring and diagnosing the flourishing state in individuals. According to Keyes, to fully thrive, you need to have high emotional, psychological and social well-being. Psychologists also suggest that resilience, personal growth, self-determination, vitality, optimism, self-acceptance and purpose are also essential ingredients of a flourishing life.  

No matter how you define this state and the characteristics that lead to it, there are several ways to promote flourishing at work. Here are some behaviours that positive psychology trainers suggest you embed into your daily work habits.  

• Show appreciation for hard work and provide strength-focused feedback 
• Help develop people’s strengths instead of focusing on their weaknesses 
• Build trust within a team by giving individuals more control over decisions 
• Cultivate a natural sense of curiosity and mindfulness within the team 
• Encourage employees to volunteer in their spare time  

Accomplishment is a major component of flourishing. To promote a flourishing state within an organisation, give individuals tasks they can reasonably accomplish. Work with a positive psychology trainer to design workplace systems that connect work to a higher purpose. Focus on building a positive organisational culture and you will soon start to notice an increase in team morale and happiness. 

About the author of this article: 

Eleanor Shakiba is trainer for professionals in high intellect fields. Her expertise is in using positive psychology to build high performing leaders and teams. Eleanor works with trainers and HR specialists to build exceptional organisations and people. She is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She also runs a range of retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators. 

Want to mend a broken relationship or raise morale in your team? Then you need to boost the positivity ratio of every conversation you have. This is the ratio of positive to negative feelings your trigger in your conversation partner. According to relationship expert, John Gottman, the flourishing relationships have a ratio of 5:1. In other words, for every negative exchange, you need five positive ones.

So how can you do boost your positivity ratio? Luckily, small behaviours can make a huge difference.

1. Share positive moments to help you connect with people you have relationships with. For example, turn coffee breaks into opportunities to share success stories.
2. Reinforce positive emotions by using active constructive responses. In other words, when someone sounds happy, acknowledge it using a reflective statement.
3. Express gratitude for hard work with an email or a handwritten note.
4. Greet people with a smile and take the time to follow up on good news your colleagues have shared.
5. Celebrate achievements and milestones, making sure you recognise both individual and team efforts.
6. Keep track of your feedback ratio. Make sure you are giving enough complimentary and reinforcing feedback. Aim to keep your feedback ratio at least 3:1 in favour of positives.

By focusing on creating a 5:1 ratio you can build rich and resourceful relationships. These are rewarding in themselves – but they can provide ample benefits to your organisation, as well.

 About the author of this tip:

Eleanor Shakiba is a trusted coach and trainer to thousands of professionals in high intellect fields. Her expertise is in using positive psychology to build high performing leaders and teams. Eleanor works with trainers and HR specialists to build exceptional organisations and teams. She is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She also runs a range of retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators.

 Want training on building effective work relationships? Call Eleanor Shakiba. 0433 126 841

“Happiness is more than simply an emotion…There is also a cognitive or thinking component to well-being”. This book explores both components, drawing on fascinating research into the mysteries of the human mind. Written by my favourite positive psychology researcher – Robert Biswas- Diener – Happiness is a constant source of inspiration in my facilitation and coaching work.

Happiness tackles many questions about what causes people to experience happiness. It gives new insights into questions such as if – or how – money makes people happy. However, the book looks at more than just physical and financial wealth. It takes an in-depth look at recent research findings on topics such as spirituality, engagement, well-being and social relationships.

Divided into four parts, the book explains the concept of psychological wealth. It also discusses why happy people function better overall. It ends with questions and surveys that allow you to measure your own psychological wealth. To me, the best feature of Happiness is the range of research snippets it contains. If you’re looking for evidence-based concepts to include in your well-being programs, you will find them in this accessible book.

About the author of this review

Eleanor Shakiba is a master trainer and coach. She works with talented professionals in highly technical fields. Her passion is teaching ‘positive deviants’ to think positively and communicate constructively. A specialist in the field of Positive Psychology, Eleanor is also qualified in Social Anthropology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming.