First-rate negotiators are adroit influencers. They know how to subtly guide their counterparts’ thinking by making smart linguistic choices. These are word choices that prime a listener to give a positive reaction. Think about the most influential people you know. I bet they’re skilled in the art of priming. They keep others on-side by framing their messages in positive and collaborative language. This means they get ‘yes’ responses more frequently.
Speak their language
People listen to what makes sense to them. This means you need to frame your message from their perspective. For example, there’s a big difference between the following two statements. Which would you be most likely to listen to?
Here’s how we’d help Mina deal with this problem. You can use the same strategies to sell your ideas to resistant audiences – whether you’re presenting at a meeting, giving a formal speech or seeking to change one person’s mind.
You, too, can tap into Aristotle’s wisdom by using the three forms of ‘rhetoric’ he described. These were ethos, logos and pathos.
Ethos
Ethos means ‘character.’ If you’re speaking to people who value expertise, ethos is your key to success. Your ethos builds even before you walk on stage. For example, when your photo is included in promotional material, it starts to build ethos. Invest in a professional head shot if you present a lot. The way you’re introduced also impacts on your ethos. Don’t leave your introduction to chance – prepare an introductory spiel for the MC. Make sure this highlights your qualifications, achievements and current job title.
Stella seemed unable to accept any form of feedback without becoming defensive. No matter how Kath worded her message, it triggered tirades and tears. Feeling at a loss about what to do next, Kath came to my course on Dealing with Difficult People.
Although Trish was an auditor, her question was one many professionals ask. Doctors, lawyers and Human Resources practitioners are just three examples of people who regularly need to deliver unpopular messages. Does your work involve breaking bad news or giving critical feedback? Then you’ll be interested in the advice we gave Trish’s team in their custom-designed training program.
Sean was preparing to announce the relocation of the company’s head office. Some staff might react badly to this change. How could he get everyone onside?
Sean needed to prepare his presentation very carefully. I helped him use NLP framing techniques to build a positive message. You can use the same techniques whenever you need to announce a change or introduce challenging news.
Irrational behaviour can be confusing or annoying. But with a bit of know-how you can handle it professionally. Here are some steps mental health professionals use to manage people who aren’t thinking straight. You can use them, too, when dealing with irrational people.
Yes. Other people behave badly sometimes. But there are constructive ways you can broach tricky subjects, minimise conflict and move beyond impasses. Here are five ways to get started.
Widen your perspective
To influence others, you need to make what you say matter to them. Look at your proposal from their perspective as well as from your own. What benefits are important to them? How will what you want also help them? Be as specific as possible and keep in mind that different people have different needs and aspirations. Tailor what you say to the particular person you say it to.
Fortnightly tips and videos to inspire Difference Makers and Future Shapers as their efforts change the world.