There’s nothing worse than being lured into a seemingly reasonable conversation, only to discover you’ve been baited into an argument or toxic power game. Verbal baiting is hard to recognise, even though it is a common tactic used by manipulative or aggressive people. If their motives baffle you, don’t despair.

Understanding the motives behind verbal baiting gives you the upper hand when dealing with manipulative conversation tactics. For starters, it prevents you going into fight or flight mode. That’s an important first step, because research from the Psychology of Aggression Journal reveals that verbal confrontations trigger a stress reaction in 62% of people. By being one of the 38% who are immune to this stress, you gain an immediate advantage.

For example, Martha was a team leader in a government agency. She had some tough people to manage, and one day she made a decision that they disliked. Three of her team ganged up on her during a team meeting. The ringleader used a range of baiting tactics, including sarcasm, guilt-tripping and twisting her words. However, Martha had attended my training course Difficult People Made Easy. Instead of getting defensive or emotional, she stayed calm and responded to the baiting pattern rather than the actual bait itself.

“Let’s take a step back and look at why we’re discussing this in such an intense manner. Is it because you don’t agree with my decision or is there another underlying issue?” she asked. This simple question stopped the baiting in its tracks and put Martha back in the lead of the conversation.

Want to master this skill for yourself? Check out my online courses on dealing with difficult behaviour today. They’re filled with practical strategies and techniques to help you navigate tricky conversations and handle difficult people with confidence.

This article was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer and success coach. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.  Since discovering her passion for training and development, Eleanor has trained more than 60,000 people. She delivers face-to-face workshops for corporates, online masterclasses for leaders and Positive Psychology retreats for trainers, HR practitioners and leaders.