Handle difficult people with confidence and emotional intelligence

Set limits with difficult people

Tired of letting others control your behaviour? You need to read Difficult People Made Easy by Eleanor Shakiba. It’s your ultimate guide for solving your biggest people problems. Receive practical advice for dealing with any workplace situation. Learn to deal with pushy, controlling, and toxic people. You’ll find out how to boost your confidence using tried-and-tested NLP techniques.

The step-by-step instructions ensure that anyone can be confident in the workplace. Difficult People Made Easy is a comprehensive resource for high-achieving professionals. Order your copy today to embark on a new, confident chapter in your career.

 

3 myths that keep women stuck in middle management

This video comes with a free ebook, Beat Imposter Syndrome. Get your copy here. https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au/beat-imposter-syndrome-ebook-2/ Are you a woman stuck in middle management? You’re not alone. This video sheds light on 3 myths that regularly hold women back. Presented by an expert in leadership development, Eleanor Shakiba, the video explains how to break free of social conditioning and become a leader who makes a real difference in the world.

 

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Who invented self-esteem?

Self-esteem impacts almost every aspect of your life, including your confidence and motivation. Yet, people haven’t always worried about their self-esteem. The idea that your happiness and performance are linked to your self-esteem is a relatively recent concept, but it’s an important one to understand.

When did we become so obsessed with self-esteem? According to an in-depth article from Belinda Drummond on the work of Glynn Harrison, the modern self-esteem movement started in the 1960s. Harrison explains in his book The Big Ego Trip that the ’60s led to a shift from prioritising the needs of others to focusing on your own happiness.

This period also marked the rise of psychology as a scientific discipline. Psychologists could use self-esteem to compare and analyse the results of their research. Self-esteem gave psychology a way to achieve greater credibility. Society embraced the idea of helping oneself before trying to help others. The concept of putting others first became less desirable.

Self-esteem was the focus of the work for many leading psychologists of the 1970s. As the decades wore on, self-esteem and psychology became part of popular culture. However, Harrison also points out that the concept of self-esteem is not evidence-based. It’s also very fluid. Your self-esteem may go up or down depending on how your day goes, making self-worth a more vital part of your wellbeing.

Self-worth allows you to accept that you’re a valuable human being, providing a stable base for building more self-esteem. Based on Harrison’s research, modern psychology is closely connected to the exploration of self-esteem. Both are now a much more integral part of how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. Read the original article here.

So, why does self-esteem matter? Your self-esteem influences your happiness, wellbeing, and confidence. As a confidence coach, I’ve also seen how a lack of self-esteem tends to sink motivation. If you don’t believe in yourself, you’re less likely to maintain your motivation during a challenging task. You may feel that you don’t deserve success or that success is beyond your reach.

Low self-esteem often stems from fear. You may fear criticism, failure, rejection, or embarrassment. Neuro-linguistic programming gives you the tools to manage your fear by reframing your inner dialogue. You can learn how to use self-compassion to give yourself stable self-worth, instead of focusing on your self-esteem.

The self-esteem movement came to life in the 1960s and remains an important part of modern psychology. Increasing your self-esteem could unlock your full potential. If you currently lack self-esteem or feel like an imposter in the workplace, it’s time to explore the right solution. Learn how to beat imposter syndrome with my one-to-one coaching or online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

 

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Power up your confidence with NLP

Power up your confidence with NLP

Everyone deserves to be confident. It’s time to discover your confidence with an effective mind-programming audio session. Feel Confident Now is a best-selling audio program. It helps your unconscious mind develop tools for feeling more confident in any environment. You’ll retrain your brain to become less self-critical.

Feel Confident Now is narrated by confidence coach Eleanor Shakiba. She has years of experience coaching professionals to beat imposter syndrome. The same techniques are now available in audio format. Act now to gain more confidence for tomorrow. Buy Feel Confident Now

 

Being in control is bad for your career

Being fully in control of your day might seem like the best way to shine at work. But in fact, it decreases your flexibility and increases your stress. Sure, many successful professionals believe that planning and being ‘across everything’ will increase their impact because it means  they’re ‘in control’ of their day. Unfortunately, that’s just not true. I’ve been working with leaders and high achievers for over 20 years. Time after time I’ve heard clients – especially female managers – describe a devastating cycle of stress and overwork caused by what I call the ‘myth of being in control’. Along with two other myths (the competence myth and the high standards myth) this misconception holds savvy professionals back in droves.

Signs the ‘control myth’ might be holding you back

Here’s what happens. A gifted professional gets promoted. Up until that point, her dedication to being across every detail has led to praise and rewards. But now she’s a team leader. It’s impossible for her to be across everything.  However, she still craves control. She keeps trying to predict and pre-empt things that MIGHT go wrong. This just adds to her workload, without helping at all.  Soon she has WAAAY too much to do and feels totally out of control.

 

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Do those signs seem familiar?

If so, you are not to blame for believing the control myth. You have been socialised to think control gives you an edge. Plus you’re human. The desire for 120% control is such a common distorted thinking pattern, psychologists have given it a name: the control fallacy. This is a thinking bias. It causes you to misjudge how much influence you have over events. Either you assume you have NO control over your life. Or you believe you’re responsible for everything. Both of these thinking patterns trigger brutal, self-imposed feelings of overwhelm, shame and stress.

Here’s how to break free

Savvy professionals don’t believe the control myth. They notice and challenge their own distorted thinking patterns – including the control myth. This is very simple to do, once you master the art of self-regulation. I recommend using Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)  tools to do this. For example, you can use Meta Model questions to bust the beliefs that drive your need for control. Or you can reprogram the unconscious ‘anchors’ that trigger your desire to be across everything, all the time. What I love about these techniques is that once you’ve learned them, you can use them all by yourself. You don’t need ongoing coaching or years of therapy. NLP is fast, fun and easy to learn.

This article was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer and success coach. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.  Since discovering her passion for training and development, Eleanor has trained more than 60,000 people. She delivers face-to-face workshops for corporates, online masterclasses for leaders and Positive Psychology retreats for trainers, HR practitioners and leaders. 

5 tips for (re)building hope

Can hope be cultivated? According to the article “Harvesting Hope” on Psychology Today, it can. The article outlines five useful tips for cultivating hope, which is helpful for managers, business owners and supervisors.

The first tip is to create a hopeful vision. This involves looking at the possibilities of the future and thinking about what success could look like. It is important to remain optimistic and focus on taking action toward that goal rather than dwelling on the negative aspects of the situation.

Second, use positive language when discussing situations. Reframing challenges as opportunities and avoiding phrases such as “I can’t” or “It’s impossible”. This will help to maintain an upbeat attitude and inspire those around you.

Third, creating meaningful connections with colleagues and colleagues through support networks, mentorships, partnering with clients and other activities that create a sense of connection. This will help build an environment of trust and collaboration between team members, which can be a powerful source of hope in difficult times.

 

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Fourth, the importance of celebrating successes – no matter how small they may seem – as this will give everyone involved a boost of energy and motivation to keep going. Finally, setting personal goals that are achievable yet challenging enough to provide a sense of accomplishment when achieved.

By utilising these five tips, you can help promote a sense of hope in yourself and the people around you. When faced with challenges, try to focus on solutions and possibilities rather than dwelling on the negatives – this will help to create a more optimistic outlook for everyone involved.  With hope comes confidence and resilience; this is essential for making progress in any situation.  Cultivating hope is not an easy process, but it can be done by remaining mindful and open to possibilities.

By creating a hopeful vision, using positive language , building meaningful connections with their teams , celebrating successes ,and setting achievable yet challenging goals , leaders can instill an atmosphere of optimism and resilience among their staff . To learn more about cultivating hope readers can sign up to Success Tips for Leaders service .

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/what-doesnt-kill-us/201206/harvesting-hope

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

Confidence is like a well-tuned car

We all experience negative thoughts sometimes. But naturally confident people react to those thoughts in ways that boost self-esteem instead of draining it. Self-assured people draw on three systems of complete confidence: self-efficacy; emotion regulation and behavioural flexibility – to move beyond pessimism or self-doubt. You can do the same. Learn how in this inspiring video from NLP trainer, Eleanor Shakiba.

 

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Escape the limbo between stress and success

This video comes with a free ebook, The Positive Psychology Toolkit. Get your copy here. https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au/pp-toolkit-download/ Are you feeling overworked and undervalued? Do you feel like you’re stuck in a frustrating zone between stress and success? You’re not alone. Middle managers are increasingly burning out due to their unique position in the workplace. But there is a way to break free. In this thought-provoking video for managers, leadership coach Eleanor Shakiba explores how to escape the limbo between stress and success.

 

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2 ways to banish your fear of criticism

Do you ever feel intimidated by fear of criticism? Despite the fact that nobody likes to be criticised, it still happens in every workplace. In this article “2 Ways to Move Past Your Fear of Being Criticized,” provides a valuable insight into how people can come to terms with this often uncomfortable and discouraging emotion.

The article highlights two different techniques for tackling your fear of criticism: confronting your own inner critic head-on, and embracing the learning opportunities presented by constructive criticism. Through self-reflection and learning from our mistakes, you can ultimately learn to be more resilient in the face of criticism.

The article also stresses the importance of developing mental strategies to help you manage your emotions when faced with criticism. It encourages us to practice self-compassion and recognise that everyone makes mistakes. Additionally, it emphasises the importance of staying focused on our goals and not letting fear or criticism get in the way of personal growth.

 

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For managers, business owners, and supervisors this is an especially important topic to consider as it’s often their job to provide feedback or criticism to their employees. Taking these bits of advice on board could help them provide constructive criticism without causing unnecessary distress or paranoia among their staff. Not only will it make the interaction easier but it could also lead to more meaningful feedback that could help improve employee performance and workplace morale in the long run.

Ultimately, this article provides valuable insight into how to effectively manage criticism and turn it into something positive. By confronting our inner critic and embracing the learning opportunities that come from constructive feedback, we can use criticism as a means for personal growth and improved performance in any workplace.

This is a great way for business owners looking for additional support when managing their team or giving out critical feedback as it can help them do so in a way that is both effective and nurturing.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/social-instincts/202211/2-ways-move-past-your-fear-being-criticized

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

Let’s stop blaming managers for the quiet quitting trend

Every day, we see another headline about Quiet Quitting: people  resigning, retiring and changing careers in droves. Much of the conversation centers around managers being at fault for this trend, but this simply isn’t helpful. Really, it has more to do with post-pandemic weariness than anything else. This is a delayed reaction to three years of global turbulence, loss and chaos. I don’t think this is really ‘burnout’ in the true sense of the word. A far  better label would be ‘exhaustion’. It’s a state caused by being stuck in a limbo zone between stress and success.

Sadly, while large numbers of  employees are feeling this deep  exhaustion, their managers aren’t too far behind. It’s easy to point fingers and assign blame during chaotic times, but this does nothing more than add to the mental overload already being felt by supervisors, managers and leaders. The truth is that people at all levels are realigning themselves after three years of stress. That’s one hundred percent predictable and normal.

So, instead of blaming managers for the Quiet Quitting trend let’s focus on supporting everyone. We all need a sense of support and respect during tough times. Managers also need to know that the invisible ‘toxic handling’ burden they carry is recognised. After all, people leaders have been carrying huge responsibility for enabling both businesses and teams to keep going over the past three years. Now we need to help them to reset, regain their energy and reconnect with their purpose and vision. Here are three practical ways to do this.

 

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Express thanks

Recognise what managers have been through during the pandemic and thank them for their efforts. Their resilience, hard work and dedication shouldn’t go unnoticed. Point out that they’ve supported the business and team through unprecedented challenges.

Stop sending them to resilience training!

The time for resilience training is over. Focus your development programs on helping managers to reflect and renew. Create a dynamic, positive space for them to reconnect with their own vision and purpose – as well as the organisation’s vision.

Offer flexible working

Flexibility helps everyone to reset and recover from burnout. Allow managers the option of reduced hours, secondments, jobsharing or even career breaks if they need them. A change is better than a resignation, after all.

The key takeway here is that  instead of blaming managers for the Quiet Quitting trend, we should focus on supporting everyone. We all need a sense of support and respect during tough times. And managers should be included in our efforts to make the future brighter.

This article was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer and success coach. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.  Since discovering her passion for training and development, Eleanor has trained more than 60,000 people. She delivers face-to-face workshops for corporates, online masterclasses for leaders and Positive Psychology retreats for trainers, HR practitioners and leaders.