By Eleanor Shakiba Impact tips 0 Comments

Does the superhero pose really work?

If you’re searching for ways to boost confidence, you’ve probably come across claims that standing in the superhero pose will help. These claims are based on research by numerous psychologists. Probably the most well-known of these is Amy Cuddy. In 2010, she published the results of her experiments on body posture and psychological state. She claims that taking on ‘high-power’ body postures for as little as two minutes could increase tolerance for risk. This leads to hormonal shifts in the brain which support assertive action. Over time, the results of this experiment were interpreted. They found that taking on a superhero-style stand for a few minutes allows you to feel more powerful and behave more confidently.

Of course, this idea is intriguing. After all, it seems to suggest that confidence can be manufactured at will. Unfortunately, it turns out this isn’t quite the case. Instead, it seems that adopting a confident posture amplifies whatever thoughts you’re having at the time.

How do we know this? A separate research study conducted by the team at Ohio University has shown that posture can influence whether or not you act on a thought.

How did they find this out? They split a group of volunteers into two groups. The first group was instructed to think about their best qualities. The second group was told to focus on their worst qualities. The researchers then tracked the degree to which those thoughts were ‘taken on’ under different circumstances. First, they instructed both groups to adopt doubtful postures. For example, slumping, avoiding eye contact and frowning. Next, the groups were asked to shift into postures reflective of high confidence. Examples of these postures included sitting upright nodding the head and smiling confidently. The results were fascinating. It didn’t matter whether the volunteer had been instructed to think positive thoughts or negative ones. Their posture made the thoughts more believable. In other words, thoughts have a bigger impact when you’re in a confident posture.

 

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The lead researcher on the project, Richard Petty, summarises the results of the study by saying, “Confidence magnifies your thinking.” He points out that this can be both a blessing and a curse. If you’re in a confident posture when you think negatively about yourself, you’re more likely to internalise this self-defeating idea.

So if you want to boost your confidence, how can this research help you? Here are a few strategies you might find useful. Firstly, make sure you’re in a confident posture if you’re using cognitive reframing (also known as thought disputation) techniques. If you’re into affirmations, the same principle would apply.

Secondly, if your self-talk is starting to take a negative tone, avoid nodding or moving into confident postures. Instead, shake your head. It sounds like a simple technique, but Petty discovered it’s remarkably effective. It seems your brain finds it difficult to complete a negative thought that your body is actively rejecting through postural changes. This is a great example of the power of incongruence between what you think and how you express yourself.

Thirdly, remember that open, upright posture is far healthier than slouching. Even if going into superhero pose doesn’t make you more confident, it will definitely improve your physical state. Add a bit of exercise to your daily routine, and you’re setting yourself up to promote thriving at a physical as well as a mental level. Always remember that thriving states can be possible for anyone. If you’re finding low confidence or self-doubt are holding you back, remember there’s a lot you can do to change.

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a positive psychology trainer. She designs bespoke programs for organisations and individuals who want to promote ‘positive deviance’ in business. Her expertise in teaching social and emotional intelligence skills makes Eleanor a highly sought-after facilitator. Eleanor’s qualifications are in Positive Psychology, Social Anthropology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners.

By Eleanor Shakiba HR AND TRAINING TIPS 0 Comments

This is my favourite story

I’ve always loved stories. As a positive psychology trainer, I know stories are powerful vehicles for learning. There is ample evidence that humans learn far more effectively from a good narrative than we do from logical presentations. This has certainly been the case throughout my life.

My first memory of being at school is sitting on a mat during story time. I was enchanted by the characters my teacher played out as she flipped through the colourful pages of a storybook. Around the age of 13, someone gave me my first copy of One Thousand and One Nights. There I discovered my earliest role model: Scheherazade. She was a savvy Persian woman who saved lives by telling stories. I’m sometimes tempted to change my name to Scheherazade, because she’s been such an influence on my life.

As a trainer, I was always fascinated by the craft of designing and presenting teaching metaphors. I first discovered this concept when I studied neurolinguistic programming. There, a whole new world of clever storytelling techniques opened up. I’ve become an avid collector of tales and narratives. Out of all of these, though, I have one favourite. I heard it at a Women in Leadership conference at the University of Sydney. I cannot remember the name of the presenter, but her tale remains firmly fixed in my mind.

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It was called The Owl Weaver. It told the tale of a little grey hen who wants to have a cloak as beautiful as that owned by a peacock. The hen visits the owl weaver, an artisan weaver who creates the most beautiful cloaks in the world. The owl agrees to create the cloak, on condition that the hen brings her the yarn to weave it from. This, it turns out, are the most joyful and the most despairing days of the hen’s life.

Like many learners, the hen does not pay attention to instructions. She heads off and gathers all her happiest memories and brings them back to the owl weaver. The cloak that is produced from this materialis a disappointing, unattractive mess. When the hen questions why this has happened, the owl instructs her to complete the task of gathering unhappy memories. With a despairing heart, the hen does so. Ultimately, the cloak produced by the owl is magnificent. The point of this story is that life is a rich tapestry of positive and painful moments. It is by weaving these together that we create beauty in our lives.

This is a story using many different contexts. To me, it embeds the essence of positive psychology. It is useful for people who are lacking in optimism and confidence. It helps us see that negative experiences can be transformed. And, most importantly, it teaches the power of seeing your whole life in perspective.

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a positive psychology trainer and coach. Her passion is teaching skills for positive thinking, proactive communication and purposeful leadership. Her clients work in academia, education, IT, engineering, finance and health. Eleanor is qualified in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She’s the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners, a free resource for trainers.

By Eleanor Shakiba HR AND TRAINING TIPS 0 Comments

Lights, camera, action. 3 ways to look brilliant on Zoom

In high school, I studied an unusual mix of subjects. I scrapped math classes early on, in favour of drama, filmmaking and even busking skills. In 2020, I finally had an opportunity to capitalise on all that learning. It turned out my mix of performance experience was ideally suited to delivering training on Zoom. While other trainers struggled to keep audiences engaged, I revelled in the opportunity to use my stagecraft and video production know-how.

 

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If you’re not quite so experienced in these areas, here are some tips you can use to improve your Zoom presentations.

  1. Get your lighting right. Invest in a cheap lighting kit and leave it set up at your desk.
  2. Get off your butt. Don’t deliver from a seated position. Stand up and perform in the same way you do in the training room.
  3. Alternate between having your video on and focusing purely on the slides. This adds a bit of visual variety for your audience.

Of course, these are just a few tips to get you started. To really deliver an impressive performance on Zoom, you need to constantly upgrade your skills. The good news is doing this is fun. If you have a strong creative streak, like me, you’ll find it an amazingly inspiring journey.

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a positive psychology trainer. She designs bespoke programs for organisations and individuals who want to promote ‘positive deviance’ in business. Her expertise in teaching social and emotional intelligence skills makes Eleanor a highly sought-after facilitator. Eleanor’s qualifications are in Positive Psychology, Social Anthropology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners .

By Eleanor Shakiba POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY 0 Comments

What is a curiosity mindset? by Eleanor Shakiba


 
This video is part of a positive psychology series. Find out more about positive psychology in Eleanor’s free eBook, the Positive Psychology Toolkit.

Unlock your creative talent by strengthening your curiosity muscle. Chris Peterson and Martin Seligman say curiosity is one of five strengths which promote wisdom. They define curiosity as “taking an interest in ongoing experience for its own sake; finding subjects and topics fascinating; exploring and discovering”. In this quick introduction to curiosity mindset, Eleanor Shakiba shares how you can foster curiosity thinking in your business.

This video on curiosity mindset is part of a playlist of positive psychology videos by master trainer, Eleanor Shakiba. If you’re looking for resilience videos or positive thinking videos, subscribe to Eleanor’s channel for regular updates. To book Eleanor to train your team, visit her official site at Think Learn Succeed. To purchase training materials on resilience, learned optimism and employee wellbeing, visit the Think Learn Succeed shop.

 

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About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a specialist in positive psychology. Her passion is teaching talented people to use social and emotional intelligence to excel in business. These skills centre around building positive mindsets, proactive communication habits and purposeful leadership behaviours. Eleanor’s qualifications include degrees and diplomas in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She is also the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. This is a free resource for trainers and facilitators.

By Eleanor Shakiba Impact tips 0 Comments

What I learned about resilience from pandemic psychology

If ever there was a year to specialise in resilience training, 2020 was it. March and April were scary months for me. Long-term clients were shutting their doors permanently. For the first time in 14 years, my business was in trouble. As I adjusted to the thought of retiring early, the phone began ringing. Smart HR practitioners and leaders realised their people needed support. Standard resilience training wasn’t going to be sufficient. Smart leaders wanted training that would engage and connect. Training with great content, stories and interactive exercises.

To solve this problem, I developed my pandemic psychology and resilience program. This has proved to be a hit in a number of industries. Designing this program made me revisit the basic principles of resilience and thriving in adversity. Thus, I was observing my own coping skills, plus those of the small businesses in my community. From this processing of experience, I learned some deep lessons which have translated into my resilience program content.

Passion and purpose make the difference to survival

In the early days of social distancing regulations, a number of cafés in my area shutdown permanently. Not so with my favourite coffee shop. Indeed, this spot became a favourite haunt of many locals. Why? Because despite a significant drop in business, the owners remained positive. They responded to the times by introducing a new range of comfort food. Sweet treats, soup and new breakfast dishes drew the crowds. Not only that, my 10 minutes coffee excursion became my daily shot of positive connection. It was the community that gathered in this spot that made the difference.

Surprisingly few people have mastered ‘mental hygiene’

I was commissioned to run several webinars on resilience and pandemic psychology. These free sessions drew hundreds of people to each webinar. As I responded to participants’ questions, I was struck by how little knowledge many people possess around basic emotion regulation skills. These skills are essential in tough times. Distress levels were high for many people because they did not know how to self soothe and assess risk in a logical manner.

 

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Great leaders foster hope during tough times

I worked with a number of healthcare teams and frontline response teams during the pandemic. What was glaringly obvious was that teams whose leaders focus them on a hopeful vision of the future thrived. In teams where leaders became stressed, anxious or disheartened, team morale dropped and individual coping skills suffered. If there is one key message I take from this, it’s that leadership is easy in bright times. When clouds descend, the optimism and hopefulness of a leader makes the difference between those who burn out and those who cope.

To learn in tough times, people need help processing their experiences

It’s one thing to deliver a resilience presentation. It’s a significantly different matter to teach the thinking and behaviour habits that foster mental stamina. Great training enables people to work through the emotions, such as fear or panic, which potentially block learning. And it presents simple and actionable tools which people can apply immediately after the session.

Like everyone, I learned many new skills and created a range of new habits during COVID-19 19. Yet, I kept coming back to the basic principles of positive psychology. I am deeply grateful that I had experience in this field before facing the significant challenges COVID-19 presented to my business. If you’re an HR practitioner or trainer who believes positive psychology can help your people, download my Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners here.

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a specialist in positive psychology. Her passion is teaching talented people to use social and emotional intelligence to excel in business. These skills centre around building positive mindsets, proactive communication habits and purposeful leadership behaviours. Eleanor’s qualifications include degrees and diplomas in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She is also the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. This is a free resource for trainers and facilitators.

By Eleanor Shakiba POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY 0 Comments

Dangerous confidence: beware

Have you ever been given advice by someone who sounded confident, but turned out to be wrong? I certainly have. For example, I once asked my team whether it was possible to automatically add up the cells in Microsoft Word. “Definitely not,” they said. For the next twelve months, we wasted valuable time manually adding up long strings of data. Finally, I paused to reflect. After all, computers are designed to manipulate data. Surely, a simple addition in Word would be possible? Of course, a short Google search established that this was, indeed, the case.

Fortunately for me, seemingly trivial incidents like this have taught me to question even the most confidently delivered advice. I now make it a habit to ask, “How do you know that?” whenever I am seeking advice. What I’ve learned from this is there are three main situations where questioning a confidently delivered opinion can pay off.

  • When mitigating risks
  • If you’re encountering resistance to change or new ideas
  • When seeking expert opinions or advice on an issue you have little knowledge of

 

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In these situations, it pays to check the underlying assumptions behind a confident speaker’s opinions. I like to use NLP meta modelling techniques when doing this. Essentially, these techniques help you spot the ‘presuppositions’ (or assumptions) a statement is based on. You can then zero in on those presuppositions and check their implications for the decision you are making. Useful questions include:

  • What is that advice based on?
  • Can you talk me through the assumptions this advice is drawing on?
  • When you say ….is obvious, what makes it obvious to you?
  • Based on your experience, what are the key things I need to remember when putting this advice into action?
  • What is your training and experience in this area?
  • What assumptions are you making about my situation when you offer this opinion?

If you’d like to find out more how to use positive psychology in your training and development activities, download Eleanor Shakiba’s Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners.

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a specialist in positive psychology. Her passion is teaching talented people to use social and emotional intelligence to excel in business. These skills centre around building positive mindsets, proactive communication habits and purposeful leadership behaviours. Eleanor’s qualifications include degrees and diplomas in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She is also the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. This is a free resource for trainers and facilitators.

By Eleanor Shakiba POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY 0 Comments

Using fear of failure to inspire confidence by Eleanor Shakiba


 
Enrol in Eleanor Shakiba’s online courses and coaching here. Or download her free e-book, the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners here.

For many people, pandemic change is triggering fear of failure and anxiety about the future. How can we deal with this, when the future seems so unpredictable? In this video, Eleanor Shakiba shares insights into what a fearful state is and how to respond to it resourcefully.

 

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About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a specialist in positive psychology. Her passion is teaching talented people to use social and emotional intelligence to excel in business. These skills centre around building positive mindsets, proactive communication habits and purposeful leadership behaviours. Eleanor’s qualifications include degrees and diplomas in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She is also the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. This is a free resource for trainers and facilitators.

By Eleanor Shakiba HR AND TRAINING TIPS 0 Comments

12 tools for smart trainers: groupwork techniques

Many of the most powerful training techniques have their roots in therapeutic techniques. For instance, psychodrama techniques morphed into role play techniques. Solution focused questions moved from hypnotherapy into training room via solution focused therapy. Even the simple process of ‘breaking into groups’ comes from a therapeutic technique: groupwork.

In therapy, groupwork techniques are used to help people address issues they hold in common (such as addiction or eating disorders). The idea behind groupwork is that by connecting with – and supporting – others, an individual will find their own strategies for success. In training and organisational development contexts, the same idea applies. Thus, positive psychology trainers can benefit from adding a few standard groupwork practices to their toolkits.

How can you do this? First, you must be clear about your role. During groupwork, your job is to guide the thinking and problem-solving activities of your group. You need to provide method and structure so the group can focus its energy and creativity on the issue at hand. The following techniques help you do this.

Setting ground rules

Never start a groupwork session without explaining the ‘rules of engagement’. This safeguards group members from unnecessary attacks by others. It also gives you a format for addressing group dynamics issues. If you’ve set clear ground rules at the beginning of a session, you can later say, “Remember our rule about being respectful” or “Remember we’ve agreed to stay solution focused today.”

 

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Blocking

This is a technique for addressing disruptive behaviours. It is particularly useful in situations where group members are aggressive or argumentative. In group therapy, counsellors use ‘I’ statements when blocking. Positive psychology trainers can do the same. Here are some useful phrases for blocking unhelpful behaviour in your sessions.

  • I notice that you’re getting off topic. What’s behind this?
  • I need to intervene here because some very personal comments are being made
  • I would like to move us back to the key issue.
  • I hear a lot of anger in your voice right now. What are you most concerned about?

Linking

Linking is an advanced form of reflective listening. It involves pointing out group members that share the same concerns, drawing out common themes and highlighting shared values. Linking is often used by mediators. It is also useful for facilitators who are leading problem-solving sessions. To link, make a simple statement such as “I notice the theme of …has come up several times today.” Then invite comments from the group.

Delegating

Positive psychology trainers use delegating to boost group accountability and individual self-efficacy. The point of delegating is to prompt experiential learning and increase consensus. As an experienced trainer, you know that people learn best by doing. Delegating tasks is a simple way to prompt action. If you’re delegating a complex task, consider documenting the steps before your session. This makes it easier for your group participants to experience success.

After all, setting people up for success is what positive psychology training is all about. If you want to create engaged and vibrant learning environments, you need to tap into the positive deviants in groups. Using groupwork techniques is a simple way to do this.

Want to boost your groupwork skills? Enrol in a trainers’ master class with Eleanor Shakiba today.

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a specialist in positive psychology training. Her core strength is creativity, which she expresses in the training room through storytelling and visual design. She has dedicated her career to helping experienced professionals break through glass ceilings by developing their confidence, communication skills and leadership mastery. Eleanor is qualified in a range of fields including Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She is also the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. This is a free resource for trainers and facilitators.

By Eleanor Shakiba POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY 0 Comments

Curiosity mindset: the creative thinker’s secret talent

If you want to unlock your creative talent, it is time to strengthen your curiosity muscle. Curiosity and creativity work together like stretching and aerobic activity. They complement each other and lead to better ‘mental fitness’. This is why positive psychology trainers and researchers are so interested in the concept of the ‘curiosity mindset’. This is a way of engaging with the world that leads to improved resilience and is also linked to high performance in academic, social and work contexts.

So, what is curiosity and why should leaders and HR practitioners be interested in fostering it? According to Chris Peterson and Martin Seligman it is one of five strengths which promote wisdom. They define curiosity as “taking an interest in ongoing experience for its own sake; finding subjects and topics fascinating; exploring and discovering”. In the workplace, the benefits of promoting curiosity are clear. You probably know this from practical experience. But what does the research tell us about curiosity and thriving at work?

It turns out that curious people suffer less stress, respond to problems more creatively and bounce back quickly after experiencing setbacks. In other words, curious people have higher levels of mental stamina and resilience. They also have high levels of engagement and connection – and this supports the development of positive workplace culture.

Overall, there is a strong link between curiosity and learning ability, because curious people naturally acquire useful information, habits and skills. Benefits of encouraging your people to be curious include:

  • Higher motivation and engagement
  • Better problem-solving
  • Increased innovation
  • Development of positive workplace culture
  • More ‘positive deviance’ across the organisation

 

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How do you tap into these benefits in your business? You can use positive psychology training tools to teach employees to flex into the curiosity zone. Building curiosity involves developing two personal characteristics. Exploration is the tendency to seek out new or challenging situations. Absorption is the ability to become fully immersed in an experience.

How can leaders and trainers encourage people to strengthen these characteristics? By micro skilling them in three key cognitive skills.

Attention direction

Put simply, this means learning to focus. Positive psychology trainers often advocate the use of mindfulness techniques. These are, essentially, techniques which help people focus and direct their attention to what is happening in the here and now. It turns out that people who are skilled in the art of exploration are also skilled in the art of attention direction. So, teach mindfulness and reframing skills.

Activation of flow states

Flow is a state of total immersion in an activity. Think back to the way you became immersed in games when you were a child: you were experiencing flow. Adults enter this state when they do things they love and when they draw on their strengths to solve a problem. Teaching your people flow theory is a great way to help foster this state – which links directly to curiosity-boosting ‘absorption’.

Tolerance of ambiguity

Many people feel uncomfortable with ambiguity. For example, leaders who seek closure dislike the ambiguity of not having immediate solutions to problems. Curious people, on the other hand, thrive on ambiguity. It triggers their interest and shifts them into a state of exploration and creativity. Teach your people this. Encourage them to attend resilience training, positive thinking workshops or creativity sessions. All of these will foster increased tolerance of ambiguity.

Overall, then, there is a lot you can do to foster curiosity thinking in your business. Focus on building focus, flow and tolerance of ambiguity. Then watch your people thrive!

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a positive psychology trainer and coach. She works with ‘positive deviants’ to build positive mindsets, proactive communication and purposeful leadership. Since 1994, Eleanor has been teaching talented people how to think, communicate and behave in ways that build success. She holds qualifications in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She’s known for her dynamic training style and passion for experiential learning techniques. Download a copy of Eleanor’s free ebook Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners.

By Eleanor Shakiba Impact tips 0 Comments

Online workshops

Did you know Eleanor can run an online workshop for your team? Your session will be interactive and high energy, just like Eleanor’s classroom training. Keep everyone safe by delivering this year’s training online. Popular sessions include resilience, pandemic psychology, negotiation skills and leading virtual teams. Check out the full range of options here.

 

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