Flourish. Martin Seligman

Clients often ask me to recommend a great book on positive psychology. Flourish is the text I most frequently suggest they read. It is a positive psychology classic and is a useful resource for both personal and organisational development.  

Flourish covers techniques you can use to live with happiness, purpose and optimism. The state of flourishing is compared to that of languishing (being okay but not reaching your full potential). It is full of tips for shifting your own mindset and being a positive influence on the people you come into contact with throughout your life.  

Add Flourish to your bookshelf if you’re interested in the science of human well-being, happiness and resilience. And if you get the chance to see the author – Martin Seligman – speaking, make sure you grab the opportunity.  

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About the author of this review 

Eleanor Shakiba teaches smart professionals to build positive thinking and communication habits. Since 1994, she has been teaching talented people – like you- how to think, communicate and behave in ways that build success.  Eleanor holds qualifications in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. Her area of specialisation is using positive psychology to equip organisations and teams for success.  

Can a team’s mental toughness be increased using positive psychology? This case study suggests it can.

Mental toughness is closely linked to resilience at work. So leaders and human resource practitioners should be very interested in this positive psychology case study. Sandy Gordon is a professional sports psychologist. He conducted an experiment in using strengths based coaching techniques, whilst working with professional cricketers in Perth. There were wildly positive results, which showed that mental toughness can be learned – it is not simply something you are born with. Gordon developed the SOAR approach when working with the team. This stands for:

  • Strengths – What are the current strong suits of the team? What do you do as a team that’s already working great?
  • Opportunities – What are the opportunities the team presents? What skills would improve teamwork moving forward?
  • Aspirations – Who are you as a team? What would you like to become? What models of positive psychology support these aspirations?
  • Results – How will you measure your success? What positive traits can you establish to make sure you are on track with your goals?

Using this approach helped the crickers shift their thinking and focus on how they could draw on each team member’s strengths. One of the participants in the program (a senior cricketer) summed up the difference the program made. He said “I much prefer the idea of spending the majority of my time realising my strengths rather than trying to fix weaker areas.” This backs up the positive psychology approach to coaching, which emphasises the importance of building strengths rather than attempting to overcome weaknesses.

 

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The evidence is clear. Focusing on a team’s can go a long way in building mental toughness. Leaders, coaches and positive psychology trainers should keep this in mind when working to build individual capabilities and organisational success.

For more great positive psychology case studies, follow Eleanor Shakiba on Facebook or LinkedIn today!

About the author of this article:

Eleanor Shakiba is a specialist in positive psychology training. She works with people in high intellect professions – such as academia, education, project management, research and development and engineering. Her skills in interactive training make Eleanor a highly sought-after facilitator. Eleanor is author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She also provides master practitioner workshops for trainers and facilitators.

What’s the connection between personal wellbeing and business success? Read this study to find out.

Thriving in organisations requires vitality and learning. Without these characteristics, organisations experience stagnation. Research suggests that thriving at work brings greater happiness, job satisfaction and positive outcomes. The research comes from the work of Gretchen Spreitzer and Kathleen Sutcliffe. They define thriving as being productive, enthusiastic and valued. The combination of positive emotions and positive work performance is also called flourishing.

In contrast to flourishing, Spreitzer and Sutcliffe define “slow death” as hopelessness, meaninglessness and desperation. To achieve a flourishing state and thrive within an organisation, Spreitzer and Sutcliffe argue that individuals need several things.

  • A climate of respect and trust
  • Positive effective resources
  • Knowledge in their field
  • Positive work behaviour

 

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The combination of these features and experience lead to vitality and learning, which results in individual thriving outcomes. Individual thriving does not automatically equal collective thriving.

Individual employees may thrive without their efforts benefiting the whole organisation. An organisation can also thrive without its employees thriving.

For the collective thriving, Spreitzer and Sutcliffe believe that employees need to remain energised and continue to learn. This requires higher authorities to focus on creating more positive emotions in the workplace, which brings enthusiasm to the team. Some of the elements needed to create a more positive work environment include:

  • Expressing gratitude
  • Giving feedback instead of criticism
  • Maintaining a positive vibe

Leaders help set the tone for the entire organisation. Setting a positive tone should have a ripple effect throughout the group. Spreitzer and her colleagues believe that creating a positive organisation is essential for the success of workers and teams. The bottom line is that thriving at work requires a positive work environment, trust, fairness and dignity. To learn how to promote these elements in your workplace, book a session with Think Learn Succeed.

 

About the author of this article:

Eleanor Shakiba is a positive psychology trainer. She teaches smart professionals to build positive thinking, communication and leadership habits. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She is an expert in experiential training and delivers dynamic and engaging training for corporate clients.

Why values incongruence is a critical HR issue

Values incongruence happens when a person or group’s values are at odds with what they are expected to do. In organisations, it often emerges when a gap between ‘what we say and what we really do’ appears. This can significantly undermine performance, create conflict and reduce work efficiency 

Because values incongruence often happens beneath conscious awareness, it can be difficult to detect and address. Learning to spot, call out and address values incongruence can help your people align their efforts with what truly matters to the business.   

Here’s an example “We love your authenticity,” said my client. “Your style fits our values: dynamicempowered and real. That’s why we want you to run our leadership workshops.”  

I designed a dynamic, empowered and real session. I ran the pilot program, which was a huge success. We set dates for the full program. Then requests for small changes to the delivery style began. Most of these clashed with the espoused values of my client, as well as the core values of my business. For example, the client said “Here’s a script our team can use to be authentic. Tell them they have to use it when they run performance reviews.” This concept clashed with the client’s focus on being real. It also jarred with the model of active constructive conversation we were teaching in the workshop.  

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A second request posed a similar problem. The client proposed reducing a full day workshop to half a day by cutting out activities. Meanwhile, they still wanted a dynamic, interactive session, where participants actively applied what they were learning.  I was in a tricky situation. I needed to challenge the client’s incongruence, whilst preserving a good relationship.  I met with her and said, “You chose me to run this program because my authenticity aligned with your values. Do you still want the sessions to be dynamic, empowered and real?”  

The client nodded. 

“I’m concerned that using a script doesn’t help people be real. What can we do about that?” 

“Hmm…okay take the script out.” 

“Great. I’m also wondering how to deliver a dynamic, hands-on session if we take all the activities out. Do you have any ideas about how we could achieve that?” 

“Can’t you just lecture?” 

“Yes. I can even do that dynamically. But how do we get the hands-on element happening?” 

“Oh right. Yes, we do need it to be hands-on. Let’s stick to a full day” 

After the next workshop, the client thanked me for pointing out the incongruence. She said that leaders in the business needed to learn how to do that, too. She was right. Many leaders fail to speak up when behaviours clash with organisational values or goals. Often, they don’t notice the misalignment between what is being done and what is valued. Even when they do, they lack the skills required to address conflict.  

HR and L&D practitioners can play an important role in addressing this situation. Here are five practical steps you can take to foster values alignment in your business. 

  1. Keep your values front-of-mind. Paint them on walls. Build artworks and display them in your foyer. Print them at the top of every meeting agenda.  
  2. Teach leaders to ask, “how does this decision support our values?” before committing to action.  
  3. Create a problem-solving template and distribute it to all teams in the business. Include prompts to consider values when generating and selecting solutions. 
  4. Introduce a regular values check process. Every three months, ask each team to identify something in their work that is inconsistent with the organisation’s core values. Don’t stop there, though. Ask them to propose ways of overcoming the incongruence.  
  5. Focus on positive deviance. Search out areas of the business where excellent values alignment exists. Promote these success stories by writing case studies for your internal newsletters. Then includthem as examples in training programs and conducting site tours to havens of best practice.  

About the author of this article: 

Eleanor Shakiba is trainer for professionals in high intellect fields. Her expertise is in using positive psychology to build high performing leaders and teams. Eleanor works with trainers and HR specialists to build exceptional organisations and people. She is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitionersShe also runs a range of retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators.

Fun fact 3: What is PERMA?

Every individual strives for positive wellbeing. Workplaces aim for a thriving and happy work culture. This can be achieved more easily through the PERMA model. Developed by Martin Seligman, the PERMA model is an acronym for the five pillars of wellbeing:

  • Positive emotions: good feelings
  • Engagement: interaction with work, hobbies and other activities
  • Relationships: connecting with others in an authentic way
  • Meaning: feeling that one’s life has a purpose
  • Accomplishment: feeling good about one’s achievements and successes

 

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Developed as an evidence-based model, research shows the huge impact of PERMA on positivity. Finding success in each of the five pillars of this model leads to flourishing. Do you want to increase happiness and resilience in your team? Apply PERMA and you will.

 

About the author of this fun fact:

Eleanor Shakiba is a master trainer. She specialises in positive psychology techniques such as positive deviance, learned optimism and positive leadership. Eleanor can help you and your people build a thriving business, using evidence-based tools. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She also runs a range of retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators.

Are your people flourishing or languishing?

Want to build greater job satisfaction and commitment in your team? Then you need to ensure everyone feels connected and engaged. These are just two of five factors that help people flourish at work. When this happens, the organisation blossoms and the people within it are engaged and motivated to succeed.  

So what is flourishing and how can you build an organisational culture in which everyone thrives? In positive psychology, flourishing refers to more than just increased happiness or well-being. It means finding fulfilment in life. This includes developing meaningful relationships and accomplishing worthwhile tasks 

The concept of flourishing has been extensively researched by positive psychology researcher, Martin Seligman. He developed the PERMA model to help people flourish and thrive. This model is used by positive psychology trainers and educators across the world. PERMA stands for five factors which contribute to human wellbeing.  

  • Positive emotions 
  • Engagement 
  • Relationships 
  • Meaning 
  • Accomplishments 

When the PERMA conditions are absent, people are more likely to languish than to thrive.  Languishing refers to a state where someone feels empty or hollow. Employees that languish may feel that their work has no purpose or direction. Although all their physical needs are met, they are not fully content. Those that flourish are very different. They feel a sense of purpose and engagement – they believe their work contributes to something important.  

Corey Keyes developed criteria for measuring and diagnosing the flourishing state in individuals. According to Keyes, to fully thrive, you need to have high emotional, psychological and social well-being. Psychologists also suggest that resilience, personal growth, self-determination, vitality, optimism, self-acceptance and purpose are also essential ingredients of a flourishing life.  

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No matter how you define this state and the characteristics that lead to it, there are several ways to promote flourishing at work. Here are some behaviours that positive psychology trainers suggest you embed into your daily work habits.  

  • Show appreciation for hard work and provide strength-focused feedback 
  • Help develop people’s strengths instead of focusing on their weaknesses 
  • Build trust within a team by giving individuals more control over decisions 
  • Cultivate a natural sense of curiosity and mindfulness within the team 
  • Encourage employees to volunteer in their spare time  

Accomplishment is a major component of flourishing. To promote a flourishing state within an organisation, give individuals tasks they can reasonably accomplish. Work with a positive psychology trainer to design workplace systems that connect work to a higher purpose. Focus on building a positive organisational culture and you will soon start to notice an increase in team morale and happiness. 

About the author of this article: 

Eleanor Shakiba is trainer for professionals in high intellect fields. Her expertise is in using positive psychology to build high performing leaders and teams. Eleanor works with trainers and HR specialists to build exceptional organisations and people. She is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She also runs a range of retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators. 

Boost your positivity ratio today

Want to mend a broken relationship or raise morale in your team? Then you need to boost the positivity ratio of every conversation you have. This is the ratio of positive to negative feelings your trigger in your conversation partner. According to relationship expert, John Gottman, the flourishing relationships have a ratio of 5:1. In other words, for every negative exchange, you need five positive ones.

 

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So how can you do boost your positivity ratio? Luckily, small behaviours can make a huge difference.

  1. Share positive moments to help you connect with people you have relationships with. For example, turn coffee breaks into opportunities to share success stories.
  2. Reinforce positive emotions by using active constructive responses. In other words, when someone sounds happy, acknowledge it using a reflective statement.
  3. Express gratitude for hard work with an email or a handwritten note.
  4. Greet people with a smile and take the time to follow up on good news your colleagues have shared.
  5. Celebrate achievements and milestones, making sure you recognise both individual and team efforts.
  6. Keep track of your feedback ratio. Make sure you are giving enough complimentary and reinforcing feedback. Aim to keep your feedback ratio at least 3:1 in favour of positives.

By focusing on creating a 5:1 ratio you can build rich and resourceful relationships. These are rewarding in themselves – but they can provide ample benefits to your organisation, as well.

 About the author of this tip:

Eleanor Shakiba is a trusted coach and trainer to thousands of professionals in high intellect fields. Her expertise is in using positive psychology to build high performing leaders and teams. Eleanor works with trainers and HR specialists to build exceptional organisations and teams. She is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She also runs a range of retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators.

 Want training on building effective work relationships? Call Eleanor Shakiba. 0433 126 841

Happiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth. Ed Diener and Robert Biswas- Diener.

“Happiness is more than simply an emotion…There is also a cognitive or thinking component to well-being”. This book explores both components, drawing on fascinating research into the mysteries of the human mind. Written by my favourite positive psychology researcher – Robert Biswas- Diener – Happiness is a constant source of inspiration in my facilitation and coaching work.

Happiness tackles many questions about what causes people to experience happiness. It gives new insights into questions such as if – or how – money makes people happy. However, the book looks at more than just physical and financial wealth. It takes an in-depth look at recent research findings on topics such as spirituality, engagement, well-being and social relationships.

Divided into four parts, the book explains the concept of psychological wealth. It also discusses why happy people function better overall. It ends with questions and surveys that allow you to measure your own psychological wealth. To me, the best feature of Happiness is the range of research snippets it contains. If you’re looking for evidence-based concepts to include in your well-being programs, you will find them in this accessible book.

 

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About the author of this review

Eleanor Shakiba is a master trainer and coach. She works with talented professionals in highly technical fields. Her passion is teaching ‘positive deviants’ to think positively and communicate constructively. A specialist in the field of Positive Psychology, Eleanor is also qualified in Social Anthropology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming.

Is it better to give attention often or dramatically?

Everyone wants to have constructive relationships. But what helps us do this? Well, it seems that it is more effective to reinforce positivity in a bunch of small ways, rather than in one big way. Studies by The Gottman Institute show that regular, small acknowledgements are essential for maintaining a healthy relationship dynamic.

The researchers shared this story. An employee felt neglected by her supervisor. Why? Because he didn’t respond when she greeted him each morning. It turned out this was not intentional. He was simply pre-occupied. The supervisor started responding to the employee’s cheery greetings. And guess what? The employee began to feel more positive about her job and her (already good) performance skyrocketed.

 

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About the author of this fast fact:

Eleanor Shakiba is a specialist in positive psychology training. She works with people in high intellect professions – such as academia, education, project management, research and development and engineering. Her skills in interactive training make Eleanor a highly sought-after facilitator. Eleanor is author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners.

Can your writing style predict how long you’ll live? Read the ‘Nun study’ and find out.

The Nun study is a well-known case study in positive psychology circles. It’s a great example, which is often used by positive psychology trainers and human resources professionals who want to show the practical implications of positive mindsets.

In a large research project on the brain and ageing, scientists studied the brains of more than 500 nuns. Whether you’re a positive psychology trainer, a HR business partner or a professional who wants to excel, you will find the results inspiring. The researchers analysed the letters the nuns had written when applying to join their orders. They discovered that the nuns who expressed more positive emotions in their writing lived much longer than those who were less cheerful. In fact, 60% of the unhappy nuns died by age 80. On the other hand, the positive sisters often lived to be past 90 years old.

 

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This is an interesting indication that there could be a direct relationship between positivity and longevity. Whether that link is causal isn’t clear yet – but it is something to ponder. Looking to increase your own positive outlook? It’s easy to start. Positive psychologists recommend writing your thoughts down in a daily journal. Try focusing on the blessings you have received and how your positive experiences can lead you into a more positive future. This is a simple exercise in gratitude.

Looking for more examples of positive psychology in action? Follow Eleanor Shakiba on LinkedIn or Facebook today!

 

About the author of this article:

Eleanor Shakiba is passionate about helping talented people flourish professionally. She coaches and trains high performers who want to excel in business. Her core expertise is in positive psychology. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She also runs master practitioner level retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators.