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How optimistic are you? Your answer to this question matters if you want to be well equipped to deal with failure. Optimists who take failure in their stride – believing the future will be positive despite setbacks – have higher levels of resilience. Indeed, optimism plays a key role in how quickly you can bounce back from adversity. A series of positive psychology studies prove this.

One study in 2001 showed that optimism among football players led to better performance and more wins. A 2006 also found a direct link between optimism and success rates for sports team. Players who looked for learning opportunities in their failures were more motivated to improve themselves. This positivity became contagious, rippling through the entire team. Thus, players focused on building their skills and set themselves up for the next win.

These results are not only relevant in the sports field. There is ample evidence that optimistic thinking patterns support development in any field. This is why learned optimism techniques are so popular with positive psychology trainers and savvy HR practitioners.

About the author of this fun fact:

Eleanor is a master trainer and facilitator.  She specialises in positive psychology, helping leaders and HR practitioners build flourishing organisations. She is known as a creative, dynamic facilitator with a flair for helping ‘positive deviants’ excel at work. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She runs a range of practitioner retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators.

Learned optimism is a concept developed by Martin Seligman, a leader in the area of positive psychology. It’s widely taught by positive psychology trainers and coaches, because it helps people overcome negative thinking patterns. Seligman has shown that you can learn to think optimistically by challenging negative self-talk. He has modified techniques from Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to help people who don’t need counselling reach their full potential.  

Research suggests that optimism brings a variety of positive outcomes to your life. According to work from researchers at Concordia University’s Department of Psychology, optimists have a better biological response to stress. While pessimists experience higher cortisol levels as part of their stress response, optimists often find it easier to regulate their cortisol levels. Positive psychology trainers draw on this information when teaching their students to modify their thinking patterns using mindfulness techniques and Seligman’s ABCDE model for cognitive reframing.  

Overall, it seems that optimists respond better to stress and recover faster when they experience setbacks. This provides a significant advantage in stressful situations, such as a looming deadline or unexpected setback on a project. Through learned optimism, entire teams and organisations can develop the mindset needed to remain cool under pressure.  

According to positive psychology trainers, these simple steps can help you shift into a more optimistic mode. 

• Pay closer attention to your negativity, including negative assumptions and the conclusions you draw 
• Always try to dispute negative beliefs by generating counter–arguments to your initial reaction 
• Write out the counter–evidence on a piece of paper to help visualise your thoughts 
• Look for positive aspects in negative situations to help reframe the way you view adversity 
• Give yourself and others positive feedback whenever possible to encourage more positivity 

About the author of this article: 

Eleanor Shakiba is a specialist in positive psychology training. She has helped over 50,000 professionals to build confidence, presence and influence at work. Her passion is working with the ‘positive deviants’ in organisations – equipping them to think creatively and build a better world. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She also runs a range of retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators. 

Rapport is essential for relationship success. It helps you bond with other people. And those bonds are critical for your social success, mental health and team results. So what’s involved in developing a strong rapport? Here are three techniques to get you started.

First, synchronise your verbal and nonverbal behaviours with the other person. This is called ‘matching’. This creates a subconscious connection between you, because it triggers mirror neuron responses. The more you match, it seems, the more you connect. Second, ask open questions. This helps you uncover the other person’s values and interests – so you can connect with them. Remember that great questions often start with ‘what’. For example:

• What brings you here today?
• What are you most interested in?
• What’s your favourite hobby?
• What do you love about your job?

Third, always look for common ground. Focus on how you are similar to others: whether it’s your professional interests, someone you both know or their great taste in pets. Pointing out similarities is a great way to encourage self-disclosure: which is a hallmark of rapport.

Keep in mind that developing a stronger rapport may not happen overnight. If you struggle to make a connection with someone, remember to try mirroring their behaviour. Remember that we like people who are like us, so always focus on what you have in common!

About the author of this tip:

Eleanor Shakiba is a specialist in positive psychology training. She has helped over 50,000 professionals to build confidence, presence and influence at work. Her passion is working with the ‘positive deviants’ in organisations – equipping them to think creatively and build a better world. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She also runs a range of retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators.

Want to teach your team to build positive relationships at work? Call Eleanor Shakiba. 0433 126 841

Edgar Schein argues that the ability to question – or enquire – without judging is critical to communication success. He defines humble enquiry as “the skill and art of drawing someone out”. He then argues that this style of questioning is the foundation for great leadership and change management. It’s also a critical skill for anyone whose work involves persuading, influencing or handling conflict.  

The key take-away from this book is that humble enquiry is based on a mindset of curiosity and respect. It’s not just about asking questions – it is about building dialogues and creating positive conversations. The purpose of humble enquiry is to understand others. The author examines today’s culture of telling everything about ourselves while finding it difficult to ask questions about others. He shows how this hinders our ability to build meaningful relationships with others. Then, he delves into the fine art of humble inquiries and the significant changes it can have on your relationships.  

Schein’s advice can be applied to almost any professional situation. His model involves creating conversations characterised by deep level listening and intelligent questioning.  

About the author of this review

Eleanor Shakiba is a specialist in positive psychology training. She works with people in high intellect professions – such as academia, education, project management, research and development and engineering. Her skills in interactive training make Eleanor a highly sought-after facilitator. Aside from her expertise in Positive Psychology, Eleanor also holds qualifications in Social Anthropology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming.  

Here’s a powerful example of the ways in which showing empathy can benefit the people we work with. A large study was done between 2006 and 2009 on diabetes outpatients at a university hospital. This was to show the correlation between empathy and positive change. The results showed that physicians who had the most empathy also got the positive clinical outcomes with their patients. In fact, patients who felt like their physician was compassionate and understanding had the best control over their haemoglobin levels. This reduced their symptoms and risks for their diabetic condition.

The importance of leadership empathy is too great to pass up. The example study was performed in the medical field. But you can apply this mindset no matter what organisation or team you work for.

About the author of this fast fact:

Eleanor Shakiba is a master trainer and coach. She specialises in teaching smart people to use positive psychology and breakthrough communication techniques. Eleanor loves working with people who make a positive difference to the world – including facilitators, trainers and HR practitioners. She is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She also runs a range of retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators.

Mirroring other peoples’ behaviour and mannerisms is a commonly used method for building rapport. Does it work? According to a 1999 study, mirroring is a highly effective solution for increasing trust and improving relationships. The study involved 72 participants. 37 participants mirrored other peoples’ mannerisms while the remaining 35 were used to create the control condition.

Participants engaged in 15-minute sessions. During the session, participants sat with a researcher and described photographs together. The mirroring group mirrored the behaviour of the researcher and the control group engaged in neutral mannerisms. After the sessions, the mirroring group reported a stronger connection with the researcher compared to the control group. Based on the results, researchers believe that mirroring increases ease of interaction and overall likeability.

In the same paper that reported the findings of the study, two other studies were noted. The studies found that people tend to unintentionally mirror other people when working together on a task. Additional research from a team of Italian researchers in the 1990s helped uncover mirror neurons in the brain. Neuroscientist Giacomo Rizzolatti MD found specific neurons in the brains of monkeys that were triggered when they grabbed an object or watched another monkey grab the same object.

Over the past decade, psychologists have speculated that mirror neurons explains why some people have more empathy than others.The human mind naturally wants to mirror other peoples’ behaviour. The researchers behind the studies believe that these implications may provide positive outcomes for organisations.

Employing mirroring skills in a workplace setting may help build team cohesion and lead to better relationships between leaders and subordinates. Positive psychology trainers can help employees and leaders within your organisation to develop these skills. Contact Think Learn Succeed today to find out how.

About the author of this article:

Eleanor Shakiba is a specialist in positive psychology training. She works with people in high intellect professions – such as academia, education, project management, research and development and engineering. Her skills in interactive training make Eleanor a highly sought-after facilitator. Eleanor is author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners.  She also provides master practitioner workshops for trainers and facilitators.

Rapport-building is a fundamental skills for creating positive workplace relationships. Whether you want to build rapport yourself, or teach others how to do it, this positive psychology case study is a useful source of inspiration.

In 2008 researchers from Bowling Green State University showed that specific behaviours can improve the relationship between sales staff and potential customers. They found that retailers who use the following behaviours are more likely to trigger positive customer relationships and make a sale.

• Making an exceptional effort to meet a customer’s specific needs, even when the customer’s request is simple
• Building a personal connection – so that customers know they’re not just a number in a database
• Intense personal interest, showing the customer that they are being listened to and that the company cares about them
• Finding similarities, so the retailer and customer begin bonding over shared interests
• Showing “unexpected honesty” so that customers knows they can trust the retailer and the shop’s environment

The researchers also found that the more similarities which exist between the retailer and customer, the more rapport increases. This won’t be a surprise to anyone who has learned the basics of mirroring and matching to build rapport. However, it’s nice to see an evidence-based study confirming what communication skills trainers have been teaching for quite some time.

Interested in reading more positive psychology case studies? Follow Eleanor Shakiba and her team of positive psychology trainers on LinkedIn and Facebook.

About the author of this article:

Eleanor Shakiba is a positive psychology trainer. She teaches smart professionals to build positive thinking, communication and leadership habits. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She is an expert in experiential training and delivers dynamic and engaging training for corporate clients.

Studies show that people feel safer when they are with people they know. And this happens well before you’ve learned to say “hello” to them. A stunning example can be seen in the form of an MRI scan, which was taken by a group of researchers at MIT. They performed MRI scans on four to six-month-old babies, using specially modified MRI machines.

As the scans were taken, the babies were shown videos. These included footage of other children smiling and street scenes which did not contain people. It seems that the babies’ brains lit up differently when they saw faces – thus proving that even very young babies know the difference between people and inanimate objects.

A touching image of the key researcher and her own baby was captured during this study. As the first MRI scan taken of a mother and child, it shows “a powerful symbol of love and innocence, beauty and fertility.”

About the author of this fun fact:

Eleanor Shakiba is a positive psychology trainer. Her passion is working with positive deviants – the people in communities and organisations who break paradigms and build new solutions to entrenched problems. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners. She also runs a range of specialist retreats and workshops for trainers and facilitators.