It’s not you, it’s them

Are you mid-career and feeling like you’re not where you want to be? You’re not alone. This article from Harvard Business Review outlines three biases that can hold women back in their careers.

The article discusses three specific types of discrimination: the likability penalty, the confidence gap, and the motherhood penalty. Each affects women differently by either punishing them for their behaviour or penalising them for taking time off. For example, the confidence gap means that due to a lack of confidence, women may not take risks or ask for promotions or raises as much as their male counterparts do. The motherhood penalty points out how after having children, women are often seen as being less capable than men when it comes to job promotions and opportunities. And finally, the likability penalty shows how being too agreeable can lead to mid-career women not getting taken seriously by their colleagues at work.

These types of bias can have a huge impact on mid-career women’s financial success and career progression. It is important for managers, business owners and supervisors to be aware of these biases so they can better understand how they may be affecting their female employees and make changes accordingly. They should create policies which support working mothers and make sure that people’s qualifications rather than gender or behaviour are taken into account when considering promotions or assigning tasks.

 

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How can managers and business owners address these biases? Managers can make an effort to promote gender diversity in their organizations. They can also make sure that there are equal opportunities for advancement for both men and women. Business owners can create policies that support working parents, such as flexible work arrangements and paid parental leave. And everyone can make an effort to give equal weight to the opinions of men and women in meetings and decision-making processes.

These strategies can help to level the playing field for mid-career women, but there is still much work to be done. We need to create workplaces that are free from bias and discrimination. We need to empower mid-career women so they can reach their full potential. Let’s work together to create a brighter future for all women in the workforce.

Find out more in the original article here: https://hbr.org/2022/09/3-workplace-biases-that-derail-mid-career-women?utm_campaign=59d2c81294a32640540086c5&utm_content=632868619fadda00017d851c&utm_medium=smarpshare&utm_source=linkedin

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

Small rewards (like chocolate) can anchor confidence

Need confidence? Give yourself a chocolate. You’ve probably heard about the benefits of rewards for motivation. A new breakthrough in neuroscience suggests that rewards can also boost confidence. Giving yourself a small reward can train the brain to feel more confident.

A group of researchers published their findings from a recent study on using rewards to manipulate the brain. The researchers wanted to determine if self-confidence can be amplified directly in the brain. They explain that self-confidence is an essential quality to succeed in the modern world. Self-confidence may also help decrease the risk of mental illnesses, such as Alzheimer’s disease and depression.

To complete the study, the researchers developed a unique method for reading and amplifying the brain. The method is called ‘decoded neurofeedback’. It involves mapping specific patterns in the brain linked to an individual’s feelings of confidence. The researchers used this technique to scan the brain and determine whether a participant is experiencing a high or low confidence state.

Participants were unaware of the nature of the study. They were instructed to perform a simple perceptual task. When a high confidence state was detected, the researchers gave the participant a small monetary reward. At the end of the training session, participants were asked to rate their confidence in completing the task. Participants were consistently more confident after receiving the rewards.

Researchers could also reverse the effects. By withholding rewards, they could lower the confidence of the participant. They essentially proved that it’s possible to train the brain to be more confident or less confident with a simple reward system. Keep in mind that the study was limited in scope. The study involved just 17 volunteers. However, it’s in line with the results of similar studies.

Research shows that a reward system helps drive motivation. It can also boost your confidence. If you’re an ambitious professional, your confidence influences career ambitions. Low self-confidence tends to lead to a feeling of inadequacy. You may start to feel unworthy of your job title. We call this imposter syndrome.

Giving yourself small rewards may offer a boost of confidence, but it may not be enough to beat imposter syndrome. To build authentic confidence, you need to get to the root of your insecurities. One solution is to reframe negative thought patterns using the latest neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) techniques.

So, should you start rewarding yourself to increase your confidence? It’s a good start, but you should also explore additional confidence-building methods. For example, a reward may not train the brain to overcome major fears and insecurities. To explore other techniques for a more confident mind, learn about my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

 

 

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6 ways to think about time… and how they impact your confidence

Does your constant planning keep you from getting anything done in the present? Does your frequent worrying about the past keep you from trying new things? These are examples of how your perspective of time can impact your confidence. Thanks to research published on PsychologyToday.com, you can now gain a better perspective.

Everyone has a different perspective when it comes to the passage of time. Some people are more worried about the past while others focus on the future. According to Rosemary KM Sword and Philip Zimbardo PhD, these differences impact every aspect of your life.

The authors categorise people based on their time perspective. Someone who is ‘past negative’ tends to focus on negative events or thoughts from the past. This may include traumatic events or moments of failure. The negative thoughts tend to keep them from seeing a brighter future.

Someone who is ‘present fatalistic’ is rooted in the present but believes that they’ve got no control over their environment. As with past negative people, present fatalistic people tend to suffer from low self-esteem. They struggle to see their own self-worth. The authors also describe ‘extreme future’ people. This group includes people that are too busy planning to enjoy the present. All three of the time perspectives discussed can limit your opportunities.

So, what’s the best time perspective? The authors argue that the best perspective is balanced. When your time perspective is balanced, you can use your imagination in exciting new ways. You spend less time dwelling on negative thoughts from the past and fears of the future.

The authors used their theories to help treat war veterans suffering from posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). However, balancing your time perspective is beneficial for everyone. Whether you’re more focused on the past, present, or future, your time perspective may be holding you back.

As mentioned in the article, the best perspective is a balanced one. The authors of the article also offer a few examples of how to balance your perspective. If you’re stuck in the past, you need to replace your negative memories with positive ones.

If you’re stuck in the present and feel that you’ve got no control over anything, you may also start to feel like an imposter. Try practicing more self-compassion. Give yourself the freedom to enjoy fun activities and accept yourself for how you are. Several of these suggestions align with common neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) techniques.

Changing the way you think about the past, present, and future could hold the key to your happiness. Your time perspective largely influences your confidence. If you want to learn more about how to beat imposter syndrome, explore my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

 

 

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Think you have everything under control? Your mind might be playing tricks on you

So, you think that you’ve got it all figured out? Think again. It’s likely you’re dealing with a cognitive distortion. The truth is that no one has everything under control or knows all the answers. Most people have a mental bias. It leads you to overestimate or underestimate how much you can influence your environment.

You may believe that you can control everything or fear that you control nothing. This mental bias is called the ‘fallacy of control’. It’s a cognitive distortion, which means an incorrect way of processing information. A recent article on exploringyourmind.com offers more insight. According to the article, when you misinterpret reality, you make inaccurate judgments.

For example, if you think that you control everything, you may fail to recognise your limitations. People with this mental bias tend to be perfectionists. When something becomes out of your control, you may experience feelings of fear or rejection. The causes of this fallacy of control vary. Some of the potential factors include fear of delegating tasks and having an anxious personality. You may also be too much of a perfectionist or have deep-rooted beliefs that things depend on your actions.

The fallacy of control works both ways. Instead of feeling in control of everything, some people feel that they have no control. You may feel that you don’t have the power to change anything in your life. If this sounds like you, you may also suffer from low self-esteem and confidence.

The lack of control can increase your anxieties. This often occurs due to low self-esteem or feelings of learned helplessness. You may also feel that you lack control due to personal insecurities. According to the authors of the article, comparing your ideas with a reliable source of information can help combat mental bias.

The fallacy of control affects everyone differently. Whether you feel in control of everything or nothing, your mental bias may limit your success and professional opportunities. If you’re always in control, a moment that you can’t control may disrupt your routine. This leaves you feeling as if you are an imposter. If you’re never in control, you may already feel like an imposter.

Imposter syndrome is something that most professionals deal with at some point. When you realise that you don’t have everything under control, you may start to doubt your abilities. This makes it difficult to overcome challenges and explore new opportunities. Your confidence is also likely to suffer.

So, how can you control the fallacy of control? Start questioning your way of thinking. Don’t make assumptions. Evaluating your thoughts with a critical eye can help limit your mental bias and beat imposter syndrome. If you want to learn more about reframing your thought process, take a moment to explore my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au

 

 

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Your brain on self-compassion and self-esteem

Want to boost your self-esteem? Try a little self-compassion. Research shows that most people are self-critical. Luckily, scientists at Kingsway Hospital in the UK and the University of Texas at Austin have also found that compassion can help counter the negative inner critic inside your head.

Self-esteem influences every aspect of your life, including your career. A lack of self-esteem may keep you from excelling in your role. It’s common for people with low self-esteem to feel as if they are imposters. This often leads to a cycle of self-criticism and decreased motivation.

So, what’s the best way to increase your self-esteem? Based on research published on livescience.com, self-compassion holds the answer. Scientists in the UK and the US published research suggesting that self-compassion helps you combat self-criticism. They also explain that self-esteem, criticism, and compassion are connected to three distinct emotional systems in the brain. These systems include the drive system, the threat protection system, and the mammalian caregiving system.

The drive system is linked to your self-esteem. It motivates you to accomplish things, such as career or relationship goals. It also relies heavily on dopamine. The threat-protection system relies on adrenalin. It’s also called the fight or flight system. It’s responsible for helping you decide whether to fight, flee, or submit when faced with a threat. Most of us are ruled by the first two systems. If you lack self-esteem, your drive system is low. When presented with a threat, you may choose to flee.

The mammalian caregiving system provides a healthier alternative to the first two systems. It relies on oxytocin and opiates. Scientists believe that the caregiving system evolved out of our need to care for the young. However, the caregiving system can also be used to support your own needs. Based on the information presented by the authors, self-compassion can help fight self-criticism and low self-esteem.

Practicing a little self-compassion can go a long way towards boosting your confidence. However, self-compassion is just one path toward building greater self-esteem and confidence. It’s also important to gain self-acceptance. Accepting that you possess negative and positive qualities allows you to see more clearly. Failing to accept yourself forces you to resist change.

Reframing your old beliefs is another method for gaining self-compassion. It’s also a common NLP technique. Try looking at yourself through someone else’s eyes. Using someone else’s perspective may help you uncover reasons to be more compassionate with yourself.

As pointed out in the article, a lack of self-esteem can leave you feeling as if you are an imposter. As a confidence coach with over 20 years of experience, I’ve worked with thousands of professionals with low self-esteem. If you want to beat imposter syndrome, explore my one-to-one coaching or online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

 

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How confidence is weaponised against women

When it comes to confidence, women often find themselves at a disadvantage. In the workplace, they are less likely to be promoted and earn less money than their male counterparts. This is largely due to the way that confidence is perceived and used against women.

The article discusses three ways in which confidence is used against women: through social conditioning, through the power dynamic and through self-doubt. Social conditioning is the way that we are taught from a young age to view men and women differently. We are taught that men are strong and competent while women are gentle and nurturing. This can lead to women being seen as less confident than men, even if they have the same skills and abilities.

The power dynamic is another way in which confidence can be used against women. Women may be hesitant to speak up in meetings or take on new challenges for fear of looking incompetent or being laughed at. This can lead to them being passed over for promotions or opportunities. Finally, self-doubt can also play a role in undermining a woman’s confidence. Women are often their own worst critics and can doubt their abilities even when they have evidence to support them.

 

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So what can managers do to help? First, it is important to be aware of the factors that influence confidence levels. Second, managers should create an environment where employees feel comfortable speaking up and taking risks. This includes setting a positive example yourself and providing feedback that encourages growth rather than putting people down. Finally, managers should make sure that everyone in the organisation feels valued and respected, regardless of gender.

This article provides valuable insights into the challenges faced by women in business. It is well-written and easy to understand. It can help managers understand why some women might not seem confident in the workplace. It’s also important to understand how confidence can be weaponised so that we can help to prevent it from happening.

Find out more in the original article here: https://hbr.org/2022/10/how-confidence-is-weaponized-against-women

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

How ‘liking’ gaps feed low confidence

People probably think of you more positively than you think of yourself. A recent article on the Psychology Today website discusses this phenomenon and its potential implications for managers and business owners.

The article cites a study that found that people tend to view others more positively than they view themselves. This is likely because you are your own harshest critics and you often focus on your flaws. As a result, you may underestimate how other people see us. This has important implications for those in leadership positions. If you don’t believe in yourself, it can be difficult to inspire others to do their best work. You need to be confident and optimistic if you want to lead others effectively.

One suggestion is to focus on your strengths rather than your weaknesses. Another suggestion is to practice self-compassion. When you make a mistake, be kind to yourself and learn from the experience.  Self-confidence is an important quality for any leader, but it is especially important in today’s uncertain world. Leaders need to be positive and optimistic, even when things are tough. If you can learn to like and believe in yourself, you will be better equipped to lead others through challenging times.

When meeting someone for the first time, it is important to be aware of their body language and to act in a way that makes them feel comfortable. It is also important to be genuine and authentic in one’s interactions, as this will make others more likely to like and trust you.

 

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Negative self-talk can lead to employees feeling insecure and anxious, while positive self-talk can lead to employees feeling empowered and motivated. Managers should also be mindful of the way they deliver feedback. Giving feedback in a way that focuses on the employee’s strengths rather than their weaknesses will be more motivating and encourage them to continue growing and developing their skills. By paying attention to both positive and negative feedback, you can learn from both kinds of information. And by focusing on your strengths rather than your weaknesses, you can increase your self-confidence and improve your relationships with others.

Find out more in the original article here:  https://www-psychologytoday-com.cdn.ampproject.org/c/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happy-trails/202209/why-people-probably-you-more-you-think?amp

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

Do this to switch from self-conscious to self-assured

Are your feelings of self-consciousness holding you back from reaching your potential as a manager, business owner, or supervisor? If so, this article from the Bustle provides seven helpful tips on how to stop feeling self-conscious and take the necessary steps for professional success.

The article offers an important reminder that we all feel self-conscious at times. It’s normal and completely understandable that we may be hesitant to take risks or put ourselves out there—after all, it can be intimidating knowing that our successes and failures are visible to others. Thankfully, this gives us practical advice on how to set aside our insecurities and focus on genuine growth instead.

The article discusses seven tips for overcoming feelings of self-consciousness:

  • practice mindfulness
  • have clear goals
  • build confidence through small successes
  • focus on others’ needs
  • limit social media activity
  • don’t compare yourself with others
  • remind yourself why you’re doing it

These are all key elements of effective leadership. Mindfulness allows leaders to remain aware of their surroundings while also staying grounded in their own purpose; having clear goals helps them stay motivated even when things get tough; building confidence through small successes is essential for increasing the morale of those around them; focusing on the needs of their team members facilitates strong interpersonal relationships; limiting their use of social media encourages them to practice responsible digital citisenship habits; refraining from comparing themselves with others prevents them from becoming discouraged by unrealistic standards of success or comparisonitis–the habit of comparing one’s abilities and achievements with those around them–and reminding themselves why they’re doing something reinforces their dedication to the cause.

 

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By following each of these tips in turn, managers, business owners, and supervisors can develop the mental strength needed to lead confidently without feeling the need to constantly second guess themselves.

This article provides valuable insight into how managers, business owners, and supervisors can achieve success despite feeling self-conscious about their skillset at times. By taking each tip into consideration—from practicing mindfulness to availing oneself of expert guidance—individuals can become better leaders who cultivate lasting relationships with those around them instead of allowing fears about failing keep them from reaching their true potential.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.bustle.com/articles/143401-7-tips-on-how-to-stop-feeling-self-conscious

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

Who invented self-esteem?

Self-esteem impacts almost every aspect of your life, including your confidence and motivation. Yet, people haven’t always worried about their self-esteem. The idea that your happiness and performance are linked to your self-esteem is a relatively recent concept, but it’s an important one to understand.

When did we become so obsessed with self-esteem? According to an in-depth article from Belinda Drummond on the work of Glynn Harrison, the modern self-esteem movement started in the 1960s. Harrison explains in his book The Big Ego Trip that the ’60s led to a shift from prioritising the needs of others to focusing on your own happiness.

This period also marked the rise of psychology as a scientific discipline. Psychologists could use self-esteem to compare and analyse the results of their research. Self-esteem gave psychology a way to achieve greater credibility. Society embraced the idea of helping oneself before trying to help others. The concept of putting others first became less desirable.

Self-esteem was the focus of the work for many leading psychologists of the 1970s. As the decades wore on, self-esteem and psychology became part of popular culture. However, Harrison also points out that the concept of self-esteem is not evidence-based. It’s also very fluid. Your self-esteem may go up or down depending on how your day goes, making self-worth a more vital part of your wellbeing.

Self-worth allows you to accept that you’re a valuable human being, providing a stable base for building more self-esteem. Based on Harrison’s research, modern psychology is closely connected to the exploration of self-esteem. Both are now a much more integral part of how we perceive ourselves and the world around us. Read the original article here.

So, why does self-esteem matter? Your self-esteem influences your happiness, wellbeing, and confidence. As a confidence coach, I’ve also seen how a lack of self-esteem tends to sink motivation. If you don’t believe in yourself, you’re less likely to maintain your motivation during a challenging task. You may feel that you don’t deserve success or that success is beyond your reach.

Low self-esteem often stems from fear. You may fear criticism, failure, rejection, or embarrassment. Neuro-linguistic programming gives you the tools to manage your fear by reframing your inner dialogue. You can learn how to use self-compassion to give yourself stable self-worth, instead of focusing on your self-esteem.

The self-esteem movement came to life in the 1960s and remains an important part of modern psychology. Increasing your self-esteem could unlock your full potential. If you currently lack self-esteem or feel like an imposter in the workplace, it’s time to explore the right solution. Learn how to beat imposter syndrome with my one-to-one coaching or online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

 

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5 tips for (re)building hope

Can hope be cultivated? According to the article “Harvesting Hope” on Psychology Today, it can. The article outlines five useful tips for cultivating hope, which is helpful for managers, business owners and supervisors.

The first tip is to create a hopeful vision. This involves looking at the possibilities of the future and thinking about what success could look like. It is important to remain optimistic and focus on taking action toward that goal rather than dwelling on the negative aspects of the situation.

Second, use positive language when discussing situations. Reframing challenges as opportunities and avoiding phrases such as “I can’t” or “It’s impossible”. This will help to maintain an upbeat attitude and inspire those around you.

Third, creating meaningful connections with colleagues and colleagues through support networks, mentorships, partnering with clients and other activities that create a sense of connection. This will help build an environment of trust and collaboration between team members, which can be a powerful source of hope in difficult times.

 

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Fourth, the importance of celebrating successes – no matter how small they may seem – as this will give everyone involved a boost of energy and motivation to keep going. Finally, setting personal goals that are achievable yet challenging enough to provide a sense of accomplishment when achieved.

By utilising these five tips, you can help promote a sense of hope in yourself and the people around you. When faced with challenges, try to focus on solutions and possibilities rather than dwelling on the negatives – this will help to create a more optimistic outlook for everyone involved.  With hope comes confidence and resilience; this is essential for making progress in any situation.  Cultivating hope is not an easy process, but it can be done by remaining mindful and open to possibilities.

By creating a hopeful vision, using positive language , building meaningful connections with their teams , celebrating successes ,and setting achievable yet challenging goals , leaders can instill an atmosphere of optimism and resilience among their staff . To learn more about cultivating hope readers can sign up to Success Tips for Leaders service .

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/what-doesnt-kill-us/201206/harvesting-hope

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.