Stella seemed unable to accept any form of feedback without becoming defensive. No matter how Kath worded her message, it triggered tirades and tears. Feeling at a loss about what to do next, Kath came to my course on Dealing with Difficult People.
Terence was furious. He’d just received another abrupt, demanding email from his colleague, Tamara. He was fed up with her tone.
Terence came to me for advice on how to handle Tamara. Over three coaching sessions, he learned how to manage her behaviour professionally and assertively. Here are the steps Terence used to request that Tamara change her ways. You can use the same steps to handle colleagues who send rude emails.
Meredith was taking on some projects to keep her clients happy, even though those projects fell outside her core area of expertise. This meant she was working excessive hours in order to master them. It was time Meredith started saying ‘no’ to these projects. She came to one of my communication skills training sessions. Here are some of the ideas Meredith picked up. You can use the same principles to say no to time-wasting tasks in your job, too.
Kiera refused to acknowledge her own part in the conflict. In desperation, Annette enrolled in my course on Dealing with Difficult People. During a break, I talked to Annette about how to set boundaries and limits on poor behaviour in the team. You might find these tips useful, too.
Although Trish was an auditor, her question was one many professionals ask. Doctors, lawyers and Human Resources practitioners are just three examples of people who regularly need to deliver unpopular messages. Does your work involve breaking bad news or giving critical feedback? Then you’ll be interested in the advice we gave Trish’s team in their custom-designed training program.
Sean was preparing to announce the relocation of the company’s head office. Some staff might react badly to this change. How could he get everyone onside?
Sean needed to prepare his presentation very carefully. I helped him use NLP framing techniques to build a positive message. You can use the same techniques whenever you need to announce a change or introduce challenging news.
Irrational behaviour can be confusing or annoying. But with a bit of know-how you can handle it professionally. Here are some steps mental health professionals use to manage people who aren’t thinking straight. You can use them, too, when dealing with irrational people.
Yes, reading a rude email can push your buttons. But before you hit ‘reply’ remember that this is your chance to look good. Remember the power of the written word and keep your reply calm, cool and collected with these tips.
The direct no
You may sometimes feel you need to explain why you’re saying no. The problem is, explanations are often heard as excuses. For some people, your excuse is an opportunity to persuade you to say ‘yes’.
A direct approach is often needed. And some ways of saying ‘no’ work better than others. Saying ‘I can’t/won’t’ gets straight to the point but the most likely instant response will be ‘why not?’ Before you know it, you’re in explanation territory again.
Focus on one issue at a time
Difficult negotiations can be derailed by side issues. So you need to focus and keep the conversation focussed on one thing at a time. Sometimes, during conflict, the other person deliberately tries to take the conversation off-track. But you can prevent diversions by identifying the key issue which needs to be resolved.
Fortnightly tips and videos to inspire Difference Makers and Future Shapers as their efforts change the world.