Taking Control of Negative Gossip

Abbey was fed up with Tom’s gossip about their co-worker, Jim. She felt uncomfortable listening to it, but didn’t know how to stop it.

To Abbey, Jim had always seemed kind and helpful. She disliked hearing from Tom how Jim flirted with women in the department, held a side job, had been married multiple times or that he drove a particular kind of car to impress others. But she never said anything, because she didn’t want to be rude.

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Gossip Busting

1. Watch out for danger

The longer you participate in a gossip session, the harder it is to walk away. So watch out for early signs that a conversation is deteriorating into negative gossip. For example, phrases like “did you hear about…” or “don’t tell anyone else but…” might precede gossip. Or people might look over their shoulders and lower their voices. When these things happen, be ready to act.

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Workplace Gossip

Joining in a gossip session at work can be tempting. But what are the consequences to you and your team?

Gossiping involves sharing unsubstantiated information. Gossiping at work is a normal behaviour – it is a way of sharing news and bonding with colleagues. Most gossip is innocent and helps connect people. But when gossip becomes malicious and nasty, it is a toxic behaviour. You can tell that a conversation has moved beyond harmless chitchat when:

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How to ‘call’ bad behaviour

Psychologists recommend ‘calling out’ passive aggressive people on their tactics. How can you do this without creating conflict?

There are four steps involved in calling out poor behaviour assertively and calmly.

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Get active about passive-aggression

Passive aggression is way of covertly expressing anger. It involves using incongruent words, tones and body language to convey contempt. For example, someone might say the words “I don’t have a problem.” The meaning of these words might be totally undermined by the speaker’s voice-tone. This is a passive aggressive way of raising a problem.

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