If you want to experience less stress during your family’s Christmas celebrations, you need to abandon old behaviour patterns. Here are three ways to do this.
Being talked over is annoying and frustrating. People do it for different reasons. Some people care so much about the topic under discussion that they forget to wait for your input. Others are just egocentric. You need to recognise the difference. People who are enthusiastic will only talk over you occasionally. Those who are egocentric will make it a habit. They are insecure – being the centre of attention compensates for their own inadequacies.
You don’t have to put up with verbal abuse. Whether it happens at work or at home, there is something you can do about it. Here are four steps to take when you’re the target of verbal abuse.
Brett is the youngest member of the team. To Chris and Ross, this means he wasn’t entitled to a promotion. Rather than expressing their anger openly, they resort to passive aggressive tactics. These include deliberately making mistakes, pretending to forget important deadlines and muttering ‘care factor zero’ when Brett talks to the team.
Psychologists recommend ‘calling out’ passive aggressive people on their tactics. How can you do this without creating conflict?
There are four steps involved in calling out poor behaviour assertively and calmly.
Passive aggression is way of covertly expressing anger. It involves using incongruent words, tones and body language to convey contempt. For example, someone might say the words “I don’t have a problem.” The meaning of these words might be totally undermined by the speaker’s voice-tone. This is a passive aggressive way of raising a problem.
If you need to break bad news, you need to frame your message carefully. Framing is all about choosing the right words – the words which will minimise resistance to your message. Giving bad news is never fun. Whether you’re telling someone they didn’t get the job or that their work isn’t up to scratch, you’ll probably be choosing your words carefully. Here’s how to frame your message effectively.
If your team is constantly in conflict, it’s time to take action. Here are my tips for improving your team relationships.
Kiera and Jason didn’t get on. Annette, their supervisor, tried to sort things out. But Kiera insisted it was all Jason’s fault. Kiera refused to acknowledge her own part in the conflict. In desperation, Annette enrolled in my course on Dealing with Difficult People. During a break, I talked to Annette about how to set boundaries and limits on poor behaviour in the team. You might find these tips useful, too.
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