Switch on your confident mind today

Are destructive thoughts keeping you from achieving your goals? If you’re like most people, you may worry about responsibilities or what other people think of you. These thoughts can destroy confidence and leave you feeling helpless. With the right steps, you can learn to switch on your confident mind.

A recent article on Psychology Today from Joel Minden PhD offers several effective tips for building more confidence. The suggestions include the use of evidence-based cognitive and behavioural strategies. You can use any of these techniques to keep your mind from playing tricks on you. First, Minden suggests that you restructure exaggerations. This works best when you tend to overstate the negative aspects of your experiences.

For example, if you tend to assume the worst, you’re exaggerating the situation. Restructuring exaggerations requires you to pay attention to your negative thoughts. When a negative thought arises, question it. Try to provide evidence for and against your negative thoughts. You may also want to try evaluating the situation from someone else’s perspective. After analysing your negative thoughts, you’re more likely to see things more realistically.

Restructuring exaggerations doesn’t work for every situation. Sometimes you simply need to solve a problem. If something isn’t going as planned, ask yourself how you can fix it. If you can’t fix it yourself, ask for help from someone with the skills or knowledge that you lack. If you assume that the problem isn’t solvable, you may need to try restructuring your exaggerated thinking again.

The third recommendation is to accept what you cannot change. You need to accept the outcome of the situation and move on. Minden explains in the article that practicing acceptance helps you control thoughts that you don’t like.

If you’re a high-achieving professional, you’ll likely benefit from the techniques discussed in the article. Restructuring exaggerations is a great tool for dealing with imposter syndrome. It helps you recognise when you’re not looking at an issue realistically, such as when you’re being overly self-critical.

Accepting that you can’t control everything is another important realisation for leaders and C-level professionals. Accepting what you cannot change helps limit anxieties and insecurities. You learn to rely more on others instead of assuming that you need to fix everything yourself.

These are just a few examples of how to boost confidence and beat imposter syndrome. As the article explains, you need to practice these techniques to notice positive results. So, why not start now? Taking the time to focus on your confidence can prepare you for a brighter future. To learn more about how to build confidence, explore my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

 

 

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Toxic Emotion Buffering: a silent cause of leader fatigue

You want to be a great boss and keep your team productive, thriving and successful. Unfortunately, doing this can make you a Toxic Emotion Buffer. This is someone who manages the emotionally charged energy of others, handles conflicts and sorts out emotional distress. Toxic Emotion Buffers play a critical role in the success of any team, but the cost to managers who take on this role can be high. After all, even those of us with drama-free teams probably spend hours each week keeping them that way.

Between sorting out conflicts, dealing with strong reactions to feedback and navigating the complex world of stakeholder engagement, a leader’s week is full of complexity. Too often, the consequence of buffering toxic emotions is leader fatigue. Managing emotionally charged energy isn’t easy and it’s not something that comes naturally to everyone. This is why handling stressful situations and strong emotions can take a significant toll on any manager’s motivation, mental stamina and energy.

Indeed, research shows that professionals who act as Toxic Emotion Buffers for longer than six months experience a range of negative consequences themselves. These include physical exhaustion from long hours at work or lack of sleep; mental health issues such as stress and burnout; relationship problems caused by interpersonal conflict and a decrease in motivation or engagement due to having to face difficult situations every day.

 

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The need for Toxic Emotion Buffering will only increase in today’s turbulent world, so it is imperative that you equip yourself with skills and resources to manage your own emotions and fatigue. Ways to do this include:

  • Using positive psychology tools to build your resilience and optimism
  • Training your team in conflict resolution, so your people can manage problems themselves
  • Working with a coach whenever you need to do a lot of Toxic Emotion Buffering at work
  • Building your negotiation and mediation skills
  • Debriefing with your peers
  • Putting Toxic Emotion Buffering conversations on the agenda of leadership team meetings

If you feel you could benefit from additional training or resources related to Toxic Emotion Buffering, contact me to discuss ways I can help.

This article was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer and success coach. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.  Since discovering her passion for training and development, Eleanor has trained more than 60,000 people. She delivers face-to-face workshops for corporates, online masterclasses for leaders and Positive Psychology retreats for trainers, HR practitioners and leaders. 

 

 

 

 

 

Amplify your leadership presence in 48 hours

Do you want to know how to become a more effective leader and boost your leadership presence? Carol Kinsey Goman, in her article on Forbes.com, ‘5 Ways to Instantly Increase Your Leadership Presence’ outlines five simple yet highly effective strategies that any manager, business owner or supervisor can use to improve their ability to lead and command respect from those around them.

The first piece of advice Goman offers is for leaders to be mindful of their body language, as nonverbal communication has a huge impact on how we are perceived by others. One should always keep an open posture with arms uncrossed so as not to appear closed off or unapproachable. Furthermore, the establishment of solid eye contact at the beginning and end of conversations; this will show confidence and allow for better trust between the speaker and listener.

Another strategy is learning how to manage one’s emotions effectively; this includes both managing one’s own feelings as well as understanding the emotions of those around us. This involves accurately reading facial expressions and other body language cues in order to gain a better insight into other people’s feelings which can be difficult but essential for strong leadership. Additionally, projecting strength through voice modulation; speaking with a confident tone conveys authority and will inspire trust from others.

 

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Goman also encourages leaders to practice active listening; engaging with others by not only hearing what they say but also considering their words carefully before responding will demonstrate respect for their opinion as well as help build long-term relationships based on mutual trust. Finally, she suggests that leaders dress appropriately; dressing professionally demonstrates respect both for oneself as well as those whom they are leading.

By following these five simple steps, leaders can improve their presence and ensure respect from those around them. It is essential for any successful leader to understand the importance of body language, emotion regulation and communication in order to build strong relationships with colleagues. Therefore, implementing Goman’s advice is a great first step towards becoming an effective leader.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolkinseygoman/2016/01/18/5-ways-to-instantly-increase-your-leadership-presence/?sh=1e2374307321

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

 

Manage emotions to negotiate successfully

When it comes to negotiations, keeping your emotions in check is essential for a successful outcome. In the article “Managing Your Emotions during a Negotiation”, the author outlines three key points that can help you manage your emotions and achieve success. Most people think of emotions as a hindrance to getting what they want during a negotiation. After all, logic and reason are supposed to be the tools of the trade, right?

The first point is to be aware of your emotions and how they are impacting the negotiation. This can be done by taking a step back and evaluating how you’re feeling at different points during the negotiation. Are you feeling impatient? Frustrated? Anxious? Angry? Once you are aware of your emotions, you can start to manage them better.

The second point is to have a strategy for managing your emotions. This could involve deep breathing exercises, visualisation exercises, or positive self-talk. By having a strategy in place, you’ll be prepared for any emotion that comes up during the negotiation.

The third point is to practice emotional self-control. This means staying calm and composed even when things get tough during the negotiation. Staying in control of your emotions will help you stay focused on the goal of the negotiation and ultimately achieve a successful outcome.

 

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While these tips may seem like common sense, following them can make a big difference in the outcome of a negotiation. Managers, business owners, and supervisors who understand how to use their emotions effectively will be better equipped to get what they want out of negotiations. Understanding your triggers can help you avoid emotional outbursts that could damage negotiations. Managing your energy can help you stay focused and motivated during long negotiations. Staying positive can help keep the mood light and make it easier to reach an agreement. By being aware of your emotions and managing your triggers, and staying in control, you can stay focused and effective, you’ll be more likely to achieve success during negotiations and avoid wasting time on irrelevant discussions.

Find out more in the original article here: https://hbr.org/2021/12/managing-your-emotions-during-a-negotiation

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

Willpower isn’t the secret to mental stamina.

Willpower isn’t the answer to building mental stamina. Successful leaders use “way-power.” You’ve got the will to achieve your dreams but also need to consider how to achieve them. Researching and analysing the steps needed to reach goals builds waypower. It’s your mental capacity to see a path for reaching your goals. Without waypower, you’re more likely to become overburdened with self-doubt and a lack of confidence. Learn more in this week’s article.

 

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Be bold and lead in difficult times

People expect leaders to be bold during tough times.. This is where confidence coaching comes in. Personalised coaching sessions boost your confidence. You’ll focus on your specific needs. You can overcome the anxieties holding you back. No one is born with confidence, which means that anyone can become bolder.

Coaching provides the support and training needed to develop a more positive mindset. Learn to deal with your inner critic and take charge in difficult situations. Book a free discovery call with Eleanor Shakiba to learn more.

Https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au/coaching-packages/#.Yc5rCWhBx2Y

It’s not you, it’s them

Are you mid-career and feeling like you’re not where you want to be? You’re not alone. This article from Harvard Business Review outlines three biases that can hold women back in their careers.

The article discusses three specific types of discrimination: the likability penalty, the confidence gap, and the motherhood penalty. Each affects women differently by either punishing them for their behaviour or penalising them for taking time off. For example, the confidence gap means that due to a lack of confidence, women may not take risks or ask for promotions or raises as much as their male counterparts do. The motherhood penalty points out how after having children, women are often seen as being less capable than men when it comes to job promotions and opportunities. And finally, the likability penalty shows how being too agreeable can lead to mid-career women not getting taken seriously by their colleagues at work.

These types of bias can have a huge impact on mid-career women’s financial success and career progression. It is important for managers, business owners and supervisors to be aware of these biases so they can better understand how they may be affecting their female employees and make changes accordingly. They should create policies which support working mothers and make sure that people’s qualifications rather than gender or behaviour are taken into account when considering promotions or assigning tasks.

 

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How can managers and business owners address these biases? Managers can make an effort to promote gender diversity in their organizations. They can also make sure that there are equal opportunities for advancement for both men and women. Business owners can create policies that support working parents, such as flexible work arrangements and paid parental leave. And everyone can make an effort to give equal weight to the opinions of men and women in meetings and decision-making processes.

These strategies can help to level the playing field for mid-career women, but there is still much work to be done. We need to create workplaces that are free from bias and discrimination. We need to empower mid-career women so they can reach their full potential. Let’s work together to create a brighter future for all women in the workforce.

Find out more in the original article here: https://hbr.org/2022/09/3-workplace-biases-that-derail-mid-career-women?utm_campaign=59d2c81294a32640540086c5&utm_content=632868619fadda00017d851c&utm_medium=smarpshare&utm_source=linkedin

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

Leader loneliness causes managers to burn out

Did you know loneliness is one of the most common triggers for leader fatigue and burnout? It happens because leaders are responsible for managing crises, making tough – often unpopular – decisions and taking on the burden of ‘toxic emotion buffering’ in teams. Plus, they must maintain confidentiality and preserve morale. All of which means leaders often face tough situations alone. This is not something we talk about widely. But it is time bosses started to speak up assertively about leader loneliness.

Sign 1: the go-it-alone attitude

Believing you can handle everything by yourself puts too much weight on your shoulders. It leads to a double whammy of overwork and low resilience. Both of which are key contributors to burnout. Remember that when you’re surrounded by people you trust,  everything becomes easier. Even leadership!

Sign 2: excessive self-criticism

Also known as beating yourself up.  If you don’t have trusted advisors around to provide authentic feedback, your inner critic can easily go feral. Now you’re an experienced leader. You know that negative self-talk lowers your confidence. It also decreases motivation and triggers feelings of hopelessness. And hopelessness and burnout go together like chocolate sprinkles and ice cream. And let’s face it, you eat a lot more of that combination when you’re burned out.  That’s why comfort eating is sign 2B.

 

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Sign 3: reluctance to seek help

This happens when leaders believe asking for help is a sign of weakness. But not having support  reinforces your isolation. Leaders with high levels of mental stamina have support systems. They surround themselves with trusted advisors and peers. The tougher things get, the more they reach out.

If you’re struggling with any of these signs, it’s important to reach out for support. You don’t have to face these challenges alone!  Find a coach or mentor you trust and stop going it alone. Having a trusted advisor to talk to can make all the difference. You are someone who can make a difference.  Don’t let leader loneliness stop you!

This article was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer and success coach. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.  Since discovering her passion for training and development, Eleanor has trained more than 60,000 people. She delivers face-to-face workshops for corporates, online masterclasses for leaders and Positive Psychology retreats for trainers, HR practitioners and leaders. 

 

 

 

 

 

A short history of positive psychology

How does the science of happiness relate to business owners and supervisors? According to Harvard Magazine, it’s all about creating a positive work environment.

The article cites a study that found happy employees are more productive and take fewer sick days. It also points out that happy employees are more likely to be innovative and come up with new ideas.

So how can you create a positive work environment? The article offers several tips, including:

Make sure employees feel appreciated.  Regularly give feedback on their performance and provide recognition for their work.

Encourage collaboration. Allow employees to work together and share ideas. This helps them feel valued, which leads to a more positive workplace.

Provide clear goals and expectations. Helping employees set realistic goals helps them stay motivated and focused on their work.

Foster trust between management and staff members. Show that you care about  your employees by listening to their ideas and being open to new ways of doing things.

Create a comfortable environment. Make sure employees have the tools, resources and support they need to do their jobs well

 

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Finally, don’t forget about having fun in the workplace! Incorporate activities into the workplace that will help everyone

Encourage collaboration among co-workers.  Working in teams can help foster creativity and build relationships that will make employees feel more connected to the company.

Create a sense of purpose in your work environment.  Communicate the company’s mission and values to employees so that they feel invested in the success of the organisation.

Foster open communication between supervisors and workers. Let them know their opinions matter. By creating a positive work environment, you will be able to reap the rewards of happier and more productive employees.

Provide opportunities for training and development.   Investing in your employees will help them to stay on top of industry trends and become better at what they do. It will also show that you value their contributions and are invested in their success.

If you’re a business owner or supervisor, these are all things you should keep in mind. Creating a happy, productive work environment can be challenging, but it’s definitely worth the effort.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.harvardmagazine.com/2007/01/the-science-of-happiness.html

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

 

Why self-criticism will NOT help you succeed

It’s hard to be successful when you’re constantly putting yourself down. Yet many high achievers do precisely that, believing that self-criticism is a tool for building peak performance. Nothing could be further from the truth. Regular self-criticism offers a quick path to feelings of failure, worthlessness and helplessness. No one is perfect. If you want to boost your confidence, replace negative self-evaluations with positive reflections. Neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) provides a way to overcome toxic self-criticism and build authentic confidence. Learn more in an inspiring video from NLP trainer, Eleanor Shakiba.

 

 

 

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