The science of confidence

Do you feel like you could use a little more confidence in your life? Are you looking for ways to boost your self-esteem? If so, you’re in luck. According to this article in Psychology Today, there is a lot you can do to increase your confidence. It outlines some of the key findings from recent research on confidence.

One of the most important things to remember about confidence is that it is not a static trait. It can change over time, and it can be affected by our environment and our experiences. For example, you may be confident in one area of our lives but not in others. Our level of confidence can also vary from day to day.

There are many factors that influence our confidence levels, including our genes and our early experiences. However, there are also things that you can do to boost our confidence levels. Some of these include:

  • Practising self-compassion
  • Focusing on our strengths
  • Putting ourselves in challenging situations
  • Thinking positively about ourselves

These are just a few of the things that you can do to increase our confidence levels. If you want to boost your employees’ confidence, you need to find a way to tap into their individual motivations. For younger employees, it may be enough to praise their efforts and congratulate them on their accomplishments. For older employees, it may be more effective to focus on their strengths and give them specific instructions on what you would like them to do. The bottom line is that confidence is something that you can all work on, and it’s worth the effort.

 

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Confidence is essential for success in any field, but especially in business. A lack of confidence can hold you back from achieving our goals and reaching our full potential. Supervisors, managers, and business owners would do well to learn what makes people confident and how they can encourage their employees or team members to be more confident. Confidence is contagious; when someone feels confident, it rubs off on those around them.

For example, if you want to increase your competence, you can learn new skills or practice regularly. If you want to increase your power, you can start taking on more leadership roles or set challenging goals for yourself. If you want to increase your warmth, you can become more social and develop better relationships. And if you want to increase your connection, you can become more involved in your community or join a networking group.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-central/201005/the-science-confidence

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

Mel beat complexity overload and you can, too

Mel had been a thriving entrepreneur for years, but the last six months had been really hard. Her business was growing quickly, but that meant she was under pressure to launch new products regularly. Never good at managing details, Mel felt like her brain was on fire because every tiny thing seemed to need her input. Ergh. She was constantly on edge – overwhelmed by juggling multiple tasks and learning new things every day. Mel needed a fast solution. Sure, she’d been told that fast change rarely stuck, but she wasn’t convinced that was true.

The next day, after yet another detail-filled meeting with her team, Mel decided enough was enough. Yes. She needed a break from it all. Coffee at Bertoni wasn’t going to solve her problems this time! She needed pasta, cake and a good gossip as well. Packing her laptop into her bag, Mel headed off to her favourite cafe.

There she spotted a group on intriguing-looking people. One was talking about belly dancing. Another was talking about the best ways to teach young musicians. Plus, everyone was discussing the challenges of running creative teams. That’s when Mel knew she had to join in. Soon she was sharing her ‘Fried Brain’ feeling. Everyone in the group understood. In fact, I was there and was able to explain to Mel what it actually was: Complexity Overload. This happens when you are dealing with complex decisions and detailed information, without getting a break. It can destroy your resilience and wear down your mental stamina. As Mel knew all too well.

 

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Luckily, Mel had stumbled on a solution. You see, the group she had joined was a collection of  business owners  – an  informal gathering of local leaders who wanted to make a difference. They’d all met at Bertoni by chance and now gathered to chat at least once a month. That day Mel learned two things: First, that it was OK to take a break from her computer. Second, that joining a support group is the best way to beat mental overload. Nothing beats talking and helping each other out!

If you’re like Mel and need somewhere to connect with like-minded people, email me today. I offer a range of online support programs and face-to-face training programs. So, wherever you are, I can help you be a (relaxed) leader who makes a difference.

This article was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer and success coach. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.  Since discovering her passion for training and development, Eleanor has trained more than 60,000 people. She delivers face-to-face workshops for corporates, online masterclasses for leaders and Positive Psychology retreats for trainers, HR practitioners and leaders. 

 

 

 

Surprising ways nostalgia is good for us

Are the toughest challenges in life really within our own minds? This question is a common theme throughout the 10 Ways You’re Stronger Than You Think article from Psychology Today. In this piece, the author examines the power of nostalgia and how it can help people overcome self-doubt and build resilience. It argues that by recalling happy memories and moments of joy, we can tap into personal strengths that have been lying dormant, allowing us to face difficult situations with greater strength and courage.

Exploring what nostalgia is, outlining its definition as a sentimental yearning for the past or feelings of longing for an idealised past. The writer goes on to explain how nostalgia has been proven to be helpful in difficult times, providing a sense of meaning and purpose through remembering pleasant memories.  It highlights the science behind the power of nostalgia, and explains how it can help us build our resilience.

The article also examines the importance of self-affirmation in challenging times, arguing that by recognising our personal strengths we can better cope with difficult situations. It looks at how we can use affirmations to remind ourselves of our worth and potential

The writer then dives into 10 ways that people can use nostalgia to strengthen themselves; these include focusing on previous successes, cultivating positive relationships, revisiting past hobbies and interests, creating a positive environment and seeking out support from family and friends.

Managers, business owners and supervisors who often find themselves facing numerous challenges on a daily basis. By using the strategies discussed in this piece, leaders can tap into their hidden reserves of strength in order to better cope with uncertainty or fear during tough times. Additionally, they can draw upon happy memories which will provide them with comfort while helping them remain focused on their goals despite any obstacles they may face along the way.

 

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This empowering program offers guidance on how to use one’s own experiences as fuel for personal growth. It provides tools for building resilience so that individuals can face present struggles with confidence knowing that they have overcome similar hardships before.

In summary, 10 Ways You’re Stronger Than You Think is an inspiring article which explores how nostalgia can give us access to untapped reserves of strength when we need it most. The strategies outlined offer practical advice which is especially useful for managers, business owners and supervisors looking for ways to cope with challenging circumstances while remaining focused on their goals despite any obstacles they may encounter along their journey.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/articles/202203/10-ways-youre-stronger-than-you-think

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

Resilience is about bouncing FORWARDS, not back.

Contrary to popular opinion, being resilient doesn’t involve ‘bouncing back’ from adversity. The idea that you need to bounce back can lead to overload, stress and burnout. Smart leaders do something very different. Instead of bouncing back, they bounce forward and set goals for a positive future. Learn how to use positive psychology and NLP ‘future pacing’ techniques to create high levels of motivation and mental stamina. This short video is brought to you by positive deviance coach,  Eleanor Shakiba.

 

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Build a confident brain and thrive.

If you’re feeling like you could do better, but don’t know how, confidence coaching is for you.

Eleanor Shakiba is an expert in building confident brains and she can help you drive your own emotions and thrive. In your program, you’ll get 1:1 skills training and support solving problems, so you can finally break through your barriers. Don’t wait – confidence coaching could be the change you need to reach your goals. Find out more today!

 

Drama free teams

This video comes with a free ebook, The Positive Psychology Toolkit. Get your copy here. https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au/pp-toolkit-download/ Do you feel like you’re constantly putting out fires? Do team meetings feel more like a Jerry Springer episode than a productive way to get things done? You might be a leader who is caught up in a Team Drama Cycle. This is a toxic communication dynamic. It wastes managers’ time and puts teams at risk. If your team is constantly caught up in drama, the tactics you’re using to ‘resolve’ conflict just might be feeding it. In this video, leadership trainer, Eleanor Shakiba, explains how to upgrade your communication skills  – so you can build a positive team.

 

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Switch on your confident mind today

Are destructive thoughts keeping you from achieving your goals? If you’re like most people, you may worry about responsibilities or what other people think of you. These thoughts can destroy confidence and leave you feeling helpless. With the right steps, you can learn to switch on your confident mind.

A recent article on Psychology Today from Joel Minden PhD offers several effective tips for building more confidence. The suggestions include the use of evidence-based cognitive and behavioural strategies. You can use any of these techniques to keep your mind from playing tricks on you. First, Minden suggests that you restructure exaggerations. This works best when you tend to overstate the negative aspects of your experiences.

For example, if you tend to assume the worst, you’re exaggerating the situation. Restructuring exaggerations requires you to pay attention to your negative thoughts. When a negative thought arises, question it. Try to provide evidence for and against your negative thoughts. You may also want to try evaluating the situation from someone else’s perspective. After analysing your negative thoughts, you’re more likely to see things more realistically.

Restructuring exaggerations doesn’t work for every situation. Sometimes you simply need to solve a problem. If something isn’t going as planned, ask yourself how you can fix it. If you can’t fix it yourself, ask for help from someone with the skills or knowledge that you lack. If you assume that the problem isn’t solvable, you may need to try restructuring your exaggerated thinking again.

The third recommendation is to accept what you cannot change. You need to accept the outcome of the situation and move on. Minden explains in the article that practicing acceptance helps you control thoughts that you don’t like.

If you’re a high-achieving professional, you’ll likely benefit from the techniques discussed in the article. Restructuring exaggerations is a great tool for dealing with imposter syndrome. It helps you recognise when you’re not looking at an issue realistically, such as when you’re being overly self-critical.

Accepting that you can’t control everything is another important realisation for leaders and C-level professionals. Accepting what you cannot change helps limit anxieties and insecurities. You learn to rely more on others instead of assuming that you need to fix everything yourself.

These are just a few examples of how to boost confidence and beat imposter syndrome. As the article explains, you need to practice these techniques to notice positive results. So, why not start now? Taking the time to focus on your confidence can prepare you for a brighter future. To learn more about how to build confidence, explore my one-to-one coaching and online courses at https://thinklearnsucceed.com.au.

 

 

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Toxic Emotion Buffering: a silent cause of leader fatigue

You want to be a great boss and keep your team productive, thriving and successful. Unfortunately, doing this can make you a Toxic Emotion Buffer. This is someone who manages the emotionally charged energy of others, handles conflicts and sorts out emotional distress. Toxic Emotion Buffers play a critical role in the success of any team, but the cost to managers who take on this role can be high. After all, even those of us with drama-free teams probably spend hours each week keeping them that way.

Between sorting out conflicts, dealing with strong reactions to feedback and navigating the complex world of stakeholder engagement, a leader’s week is full of complexity. Too often, the consequence of buffering toxic emotions is leader fatigue. Managing emotionally charged energy isn’t easy and it’s not something that comes naturally to everyone. This is why handling stressful situations and strong emotions can take a significant toll on any manager’s motivation, mental stamina and energy.

Indeed, research shows that professionals who act as Toxic Emotion Buffers for longer than six months experience a range of negative consequences themselves. These include physical exhaustion from long hours at work or lack of sleep; mental health issues such as stress and burnout; relationship problems caused by interpersonal conflict and a decrease in motivation or engagement due to having to face difficult situations every day.

 

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The need for Toxic Emotion Buffering will only increase in today’s turbulent world, so it is imperative that you equip yourself with skills and resources to manage your own emotions and fatigue. Ways to do this include:

  • Using positive psychology tools to build your resilience and optimism
  • Training your team in conflict resolution, so your people can manage problems themselves
  • Working with a coach whenever you need to do a lot of Toxic Emotion Buffering at work
  • Building your negotiation and mediation skills
  • Debriefing with your peers
  • Putting Toxic Emotion Buffering conversations on the agenda of leadership team meetings

If you feel you could benefit from additional training or resources related to Toxic Emotion Buffering, contact me to discuss ways I can help.

This article was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer and success coach. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.  Since discovering her passion for training and development, Eleanor has trained more than 60,000 people. She delivers face-to-face workshops for corporates, online masterclasses for leaders and Positive Psychology retreats for trainers, HR practitioners and leaders. 

 

 

 

 

 

Amplify your leadership presence in 48 hours

Do you want to know how to become a more effective leader and boost your leadership presence? Carol Kinsey Goman, in her article on Forbes.com, ‘5 Ways to Instantly Increase Your Leadership Presence’ outlines five simple yet highly effective strategies that any manager, business owner or supervisor can use to improve their ability to lead and command respect from those around them.

The first piece of advice Goman offers is for leaders to be mindful of their body language, as nonverbal communication has a huge impact on how we are perceived by others. One should always keep an open posture with arms uncrossed so as not to appear closed off or unapproachable. Furthermore, the establishment of solid eye contact at the beginning and end of conversations; this will show confidence and allow for better trust between the speaker and listener.

Another strategy is learning how to manage one’s emotions effectively; this includes both managing one’s own feelings as well as understanding the emotions of those around us. This involves accurately reading facial expressions and other body language cues in order to gain a better insight into other people’s feelings which can be difficult but essential for strong leadership. Additionally, projecting strength through voice modulation; speaking with a confident tone conveys authority and will inspire trust from others.

 

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Goman also encourages leaders to practice active listening; engaging with others by not only hearing what they say but also considering their words carefully before responding will demonstrate respect for their opinion as well as help build long-term relationships based on mutual trust. Finally, she suggests that leaders dress appropriately; dressing professionally demonstrates respect both for oneself as well as those whom they are leading.

By following these five simple steps, leaders can improve their presence and ensure respect from those around them. It is essential for any successful leader to understand the importance of body language, emotion regulation and communication in order to build strong relationships with colleagues. Therefore, implementing Goman’s advice is a great first step towards becoming an effective leader.

Find out more in the original article here: https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolkinseygoman/2016/01/18/5-ways-to-instantly-increase-your-leadership-presence/?sh=1e2374307321

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

 

Manage emotions to negotiate successfully

When it comes to negotiations, keeping your emotions in check is essential for a successful outcome. In the article “Managing Your Emotions during a Negotiation”, the author outlines three key points that can help you manage your emotions and achieve success. Most people think of emotions as a hindrance to getting what they want during a negotiation. After all, logic and reason are supposed to be the tools of the trade, right?

The first point is to be aware of your emotions and how they are impacting the negotiation. This can be done by taking a step back and evaluating how you’re feeling at different points during the negotiation. Are you feeling impatient? Frustrated? Anxious? Angry? Once you are aware of your emotions, you can start to manage them better.

The second point is to have a strategy for managing your emotions. This could involve deep breathing exercises, visualisation exercises, or positive self-talk. By having a strategy in place, you’ll be prepared for any emotion that comes up during the negotiation.

The third point is to practice emotional self-control. This means staying calm and composed even when things get tough during the negotiation. Staying in control of your emotions will help you stay focused on the goal of the negotiation and ultimately achieve a successful outcome.

 

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While these tips may seem like common sense, following them can make a big difference in the outcome of a negotiation. Managers, business owners, and supervisors who understand how to use their emotions effectively will be better equipped to get what they want out of negotiations. Understanding your triggers can help you avoid emotional outbursts that could damage negotiations. Managing your energy can help you stay focused and motivated during long negotiations. Staying positive can help keep the mood light and make it easier to reach an agreement. By being aware of your emotions and managing your triggers, and staying in control, you can stay focused and effective, you’ll be more likely to achieve success during negotiations and avoid wasting time on irrelevant discussions.

Find out more in the original article here: https://hbr.org/2021/12/managing-your-emotions-during-a-negotiation

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.