What do high-impact communicators do differently to the rest of us? They don’t necessarily speak more often or in greater detail. In fact, many highly influential professionals speak less than the average person. Firstly, they speak with confidence and from a position of strength rather than self-doubt.

Secondly, impactful communicators choose their words carefully. They have mastered the art of verbal framing. This skill involves carefully selecting and arranging your words, so your message becomes easier for listeners to absorb. For example, imagine you’re trying to persuade a colleague to agree to an idea you’re proposing. You could focus on what’s in it for them – highlighting how your proposal will make THEM look good or get ahead. Alternatively, you could explain how the idea will help YOU. Which approach do you think will be most successful?

If you chose the first option, you’re spot on. Research has shown that framing to match your colleague’s needs is way more likely to succeed. Here are three quick tips that will take your framing skills to the next level.

Forget about yourself and focus on them

Persuasive frames directly appeal to your listener’s needs and interests. Take the time to understand what others want and why they want it. Then deliver your message in a way that resonates with them. By doing so, you’ll speak to impress! You’ll also sound more confident because your attention will be turned towards them. That reduces the likelihood you’ll be struck by stage-fright, as you’ll be less likely to ruminate and worry about what might go wrong in the conversation.

Use concrete, specific language

The more specific your language, the better others will understand and respond to what you’re saying. Instead of saying “This will help our team succeed,” try something like “This will help achieve our target of increasing sales by 10% this month.” Specificity adds weight to your message by fitting it into the listener’s real-life experience.

Speak to connect

As an NLP trainer, I can assure you that words matter. To effectively communicate, you need to speak the other person’s language, not your own. Listen attentively to what others say. Pay close attention to the words they emphasise or use passionately. Then use those words useful. This deepens rapport and also makes your message easier to understand. By matching your conversation partner’s language, you can help your message get through without resistance.

If you want to be more flowing, persuasive and impactful in your communications, remember these three tips. After all, confident communicators don’t just speak with self-assurance, they also know how to frame a message in ways that connect and resonate with others.

This article was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer and success coach. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.  Since discovering her passion for training and development, Eleanor has trained more than 60,000 people. She delivers face-to-face workshops for corporates, online masterclasses for leaders and Positive Psychology retreats for trainers, HR practitioners and leaders. 

In 2006 I wanted to set up my own business. But something was holding me back: a deep-seated fear of uncertainty. I lay awake imagining everything that could go wrong: losing all my savings, never finding any customers and feeling like a complete failure. Luckily, I had a great coach. He asked me to list everything I was worried about. Then he asked, “What would happen if everything turned out all right?” Suddenly it hit me. Uncertainty can go both ways. It was time to step out of my comfort zone and into my impact zone.

My biggest lesson since then has been this: success rarely comes without uncertainty. Whether you’re starting a business, changing careers or beginning a new relationship, there will always be risks and unknowns. There’s no point trying to eliminate uncertainty.  Instead, learn how to manage it. Here are my favourite two ways to do this.

Challenge your brain’s reaction to uncertainty

Remember, your brain is built to avoid risk.  It’s constantly scanning for threats and seeking to ways protect you. But sometimes this ‘negativity bias’ can work against you. When your brain reacts to uncertainty by triggering your fear reaction, challenge it. Ask yourself these three questions.

• Is this fear based on facts or is it just my brain trying to keep me comfortable?
• What opportunities might I be missing out on if I let this fear hold me back?
• What are the potential benefits of accepting uncertainty right now?

Expand your time horizon

During a fear reaction, your brain focuses on the short-term.  That makes sense because it’s trying to protect you in the here-and-now. However, it also means you may be missing out on the bigger picture. When faced with uncertainty, try expanding your time horizon and creating a vision of how you want the future to be.

Ask yourself these three questions.

• How might this situation look in a week? In a month? In a year?
• What are my ultimate goals and how does this uncertainty fit into them?
• Am I willing to sacrifice potential long-term success for short-term comfort?

So the next time uncertainty comes knocking at your door, don’t greet it with fear. Open the door, invite it in and spend time learning to love it. Just like a stray cat, it might turn out to be a source of great joy and opportunity.  And if you need any further convincing, just look to some of the most successful entrepreneurs, innovators and leaders in history. They all have one thing in common: they willingly embraced uncertainty and used it to their advantage.

This article was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer and success coach. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.  Since discovering her passion for training and development, Eleanor has trained more than 60,000 people. She delivers face-to-face workshops for corporates, online masterclasses for leaders and Positive Psychology retreats for trainers, HR practitioners and leaders.