12 tools for smart trainers: Socratic questions

Socrates was an ancient Greek philosopher. His believed that shared dialogue between a philosopher and a learner prompted critical thinking and fostered the development of wisdom. Trainers and trainers who use Socratic techniques ask probing questions. Why? To uncover the assumptions and beliefs which create mental models. In effective Socratic learning scenarios, learners ask questions as well – both of the facilitator and each other.

You can’t create a Socratic dialogue without knowing how to use Socratic questioning techniques. Here’s a quick look at how they work and how to apply them in training and facilitation contexts. Remember they are a great tool for positive psychology trainers, as well as organisational development consultants and coaches.

The aim of using Socratic questions is to promote open dialogue and prompt learning. As a trainer, your questions should prompt learners to think deeply and question their assumptions. By asking Socratic questions, you can lead course participants to the answer instead of giving it to them. However, you need to do this artfully. Always aim to create ‘productive discomfort’ and avoid triggering shame or fear reactions. This, of course, is a key principle that any positive psychology trainer keeps in mind at all times!

Indeed, many positive psychology practitioners consider the Socratic method the cornerstone of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). According to Clark and Egan, both practices involve asking open-ended questions that promote reflection. Michael Neenan has also explored the connection between Socratic questions and CBT. He believes that these methods work best when there isn’t a predetermined goal. In corporate training contexts, the facilitator continues to ask probing questions to help learners unlock the answers.

 

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Of course, to help people unlock answers, you need to know what questions to ask. Socratic questions are typically open-ended and (as much as possible) devoid of assumptions. The learner needs to actively participate in the discussion. The facilitator needs to respond to what is happening in-the-moment. So don’t try scripting your Socratic sessions! You need to be flexible to promote self-discovery. When asking Socratic questions, remember that silence is a positive sign. Learners need to process and think before responding – the consequence of a great question is silence.

As your group interacts with you, continue to come up with new questions. Resist the temptation to tell, give advice or issue instructions. Be ready to rephrase questions that receive a vague or ambiguous response. This encourages group participants to elaborate. When asking for clarification, you may ask, “What do you mean when you say ‘X’?” Your questions should also challenge assumptions. This helps learners to consider other points of view and encourages them to step into growth mindset mode.

When necessary, ask for the evidence or the reasoning behind a point-of-view. Do this gently, so that learners know you are helping them and not challenging aggressively. Throughout the Socratic dialogue, summarise the key points that emerge. Reinforce insights and encourage shifts in perspective. After all, that’s the point of using dialogue in learning and organisational development contexts.

If you want pointers on how to start using Socratic questions enrol in a trainers’ master class with Eleanor Shakiba today.

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a specialist in positive psychology training. Her core strength is creativity, which she expresses in the training room through storytelling and visual design. She has dedicated her career to helping experienced professionals break through glass ceilings by developing their confidence, communication skills and leadership mastery. Eleanor is qualified in a range of fields including Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She is also the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. This is a free resource for trainers and facilitators.

Self-agency is more important than self-esteem

Have you ever been told you need to work on your self-esteem? If so, you might want to rethink that advice. It turns out that there is an even more important area to focus on: your sense of ‘personal agency’. Agency is an empowering mental state. It is driven by the belief that you can make a positive difference in the world. Also known as ‘personal agency’, self-agency gives you the power to achieve your goals and overcome obstacles. If you want your people to take initiative, solve problems and get results, fostering their self-agency will fast-track success.

In the early days of behaviourist psychology, psychologists believed that the actions of humans were primarily driven by external stimuli. The work of Professor Albert Bandura helped change this belief. Bandura argued that humans are the agents of their own development. He demonstrated that self-agency is not an inherited trait that only some people are born with. Anyone can gain more control over their actions and thoughts, thereby increasing their sense of personal agency.

Bandura’s original research suggested there are four primary ways to build greater self-agency.

Immersing yourself in mastery experiences

A mastery experience involves achieving a specific goal through applying or growing your own abilities. When you do this, you feel a deep sense of satisfaction. This links to increased belief in your own ability to get positive results from your actions.

Seeing role models succeed

When you see someone like yourself succeed in achieving a goal like yours, you’re inspired to achieve your own success. This is why exposing yourself to positive role models is an important part of developing your self-efficacy and your self-agency. Positive psychology trainers often advocate mentoring and coaching in business, because this helps employees connect with positive role models.

Receiving positive feedback

Bandura called this being exposed to ‘social persuasion’. His argument was that when others believe in your ability to succeed, you will experience stronger levels of self-belief. Base on this argument, positive psychology trainers encourage leaders to boost positivity ratios in their teams. When you let someone know that you are confident in their abilities, they become more confident in their abilities.

 

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Regulating your physiology

The fourth method for developing a greater sense of agency involves taking a closer look at the various states of physiology. Bandura explained that your physical state directly influences your emotional state. For example, when you are in a low mood, you are more likely to negatively judge your abilities. It’s not just positive psychology trainers who say this: exercise improves your mental resilience, not just your physical fitness.

According to Martin Seligman (who draws on Albert Bandura’s research on self-agency and self-efficacy) agency is underpinned by three core thinking patterns. These are of particular interest to leaders and human resource practitioners who want to foster ‘positive deviance’ in their organisations. Significantly, these thinking patterns can be taught, as experienced positive psychology trainers (especially those with an interest in resilience training) will tell you. So, what are they?

The first agency-boosting thinking pattern is self-efficacy. This is your belief in your ability to reap positive results from your actions. If your self-efficacy is high, you will feel powerful enough to act even in challenging times.

The second thinking pattern is optimism. Positive psychology trainers define this as being a generalised belief that things will turn out okay. Thinking optimistically helps you maintain goal- oriented behaviour, because it leads to a belief that your results will ultimately be positive.

Thinking pattern number three is imagination. Also known as creativity, this way of thinking enables you to visualise the future, create new ideas and find solutions to problems. When combined with optimism. It is a powerful force for positive change at individual, team and organisational levels.

Other recent research – particularly into the psychology of hopefulness – has added another two dimensions to the self-agency model. It turns out that individuals with high levels of self-agency combine ‘will power’ with ‘way power’. In other words, they don’t just wish their lives were different. They actively create ways to achieve their desired results. The truth is that everyone has the power to shape their futures. By using positive psychology techniques and attending resilience training, you can build your sense of agency. This, in turn drives, self-confidence. Contact Eleanor Shakiba to begin exploring strategies for promoting a greater sense of self-agency.

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a trainer and coach, with a passion for unleashing the power of positive deviance in talented people. She has taught more than 50,000 people how to excel professionally. An expert in the field of Positive Psychology, Eleanor is also qualified in Social Anthropology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She specialises in helping HR and L&D practitioners to unleash the power of positive psychology in business. Her major focus in developing three key areas that support positive workplace cultures: positive mindset, proactive communication and purposeful leadership. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. Download your free copy here.

Plug n Play

Trainers! Did you know Eleanor sells a Plug N Play Resilience training kit? It contains everything you need to deliver resilience workshops based on robust Positive Psychology research. No tacky clipart or poorly designed activities. Simply everything you need to deliver engaging training without hours of design work. Download it instantly here.

 

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Does the superhero pose really work?

If you’re searching for ways to boost confidence, you’ve probably come across claims that standing in the superhero pose will help. These claims are based on research by numerous psychologists. Probably the most well-known of these is Amy Cuddy. In 2010, she published the results of her experiments on body posture and psychological state. She claims that taking on ‘high-power’ body postures for as little as two minutes could increase tolerance for risk. This leads to hormonal shifts in the brain which support assertive action. Over time, the results of this experiment were interpreted. They found that taking on a superhero-style stand for a few minutes allows you to feel more powerful and behave more confidently.

Of course, this idea is intriguing. After all, it seems to suggest that confidence can be manufactured at will. Unfortunately, it turns out this isn’t quite the case. Instead, it seems that adopting a confident posture amplifies whatever thoughts you’re having at the time.

How do we know this? A separate research study conducted by the team at Ohio University has shown that posture can influence whether or not you act on a thought.

How did they find this out? They split a group of volunteers into two groups. The first group was instructed to think about their best qualities. The second group was told to focus on their worst qualities. The researchers then tracked the degree to which those thoughts were ‘taken on’ under different circumstances. First, they instructed both groups to adopt doubtful postures. For example, slumping, avoiding eye contact and frowning. Next, the groups were asked to shift into postures reflective of high confidence. Examples of these postures included sitting upright nodding the head and smiling confidently. The results were fascinating. It didn’t matter whether the volunteer had been instructed to think positive thoughts or negative ones. Their posture made the thoughts more believable. In other words, thoughts have a bigger impact when you’re in a confident posture.

 

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The lead researcher on the project, Richard Petty, summarises the results of the study by saying, “Confidence magnifies your thinking.” He points out that this can be both a blessing and a curse. If you’re in a confident posture when you think negatively about yourself, you’re more likely to internalise this self-defeating idea.

So if you want to boost your confidence, how can this research help you? Here are a few strategies you might find useful. Firstly, make sure you’re in a confident posture if you’re using cognitive reframing (also known as thought disputation) techniques. If you’re into affirmations, the same principle would apply.

Secondly, if your self-talk is starting to take a negative tone, avoid nodding or moving into confident postures. Instead, shake your head. It sounds like a simple technique, but Petty discovered it’s remarkably effective. It seems your brain finds it difficult to complete a negative thought that your body is actively rejecting through postural changes. This is a great example of the power of incongruence between what you think and how you express yourself.

Thirdly, remember that open, upright posture is far healthier than slouching. Even if going into superhero pose doesn’t make you more confident, it will definitely improve your physical state. Add a bit of exercise to your daily routine, and you’re setting yourself up to promote thriving at a physical as well as a mental level. Always remember that thriving states can be possible for anyone. If you’re finding low confidence or self-doubt are holding you back, remember there’s a lot you can do to change.

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a positive psychology trainer. She designs bespoke programs for organisations and individuals who want to promote ‘positive deviance’ in business. Her expertise in teaching social and emotional intelligence skills makes Eleanor a highly sought-after facilitator. Eleanor’s qualifications are in Positive Psychology, Social Anthropology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners.

This is my favourite story

I’ve always loved stories. As a positive psychology trainer, I know stories are powerful vehicles for learning. There is ample evidence that humans learn far more effectively from a good narrative than we do from logical presentations. This has certainly been the case throughout my life.

My first memory of being at school is sitting on a mat during story time. I was enchanted by the characters my teacher played out as she flipped through the colourful pages of a storybook. Around the age of 13, someone gave me my first copy of One Thousand and One Nights. There I discovered my earliest role model: Scheherazade. She was a savvy Persian woman who saved lives by telling stories. I’m sometimes tempted to change my name to Scheherazade, because she’s been such an influence on my life.

As a trainer, I was always fascinated by the craft of designing and presenting teaching metaphors. I first discovered this concept when I studied neurolinguistic programming. There, a whole new world of clever storytelling techniques opened up. I’ve become an avid collector of tales and narratives. Out of all of these, though, I have one favourite. I heard it at a Women in Leadership conference at the University of Sydney. I cannot remember the name of the presenter, but her tale remains firmly fixed in my mind.

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It was called The Owl Weaver. It told the tale of a little grey hen who wants to have a cloak as beautiful as that owned by a peacock. The hen visits the owl weaver, an artisan weaver who creates the most beautiful cloaks in the world. The owl agrees to create the cloak, on condition that the hen brings her the yarn to weave it from. This, it turns out, are the most joyful and the most despairing days of the hen’s life.

Like many learners, the hen does not pay attention to instructions. She heads off and gathers all her happiest memories and brings them back to the owl weaver. The cloak that is produced from this materialis a disappointing, unattractive mess. When the hen questions why this has happened, the owl instructs her to complete the task of gathering unhappy memories. With a despairing heart, the hen does so. Ultimately, the cloak produced by the owl is magnificent. The point of this story is that life is a rich tapestry of positive and painful moments. It is by weaving these together that we create beauty in our lives.

This is a story using many different contexts. To me, it embeds the essence of positive psychology. It is useful for people who are lacking in optimism and confidence. It helps us see that negative experiences can be transformed. And, most importantly, it teaches the power of seeing your whole life in perspective.

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a positive psychology trainer and coach. Her passion is teaching skills for positive thinking, proactive communication and purposeful leadership. Her clients work in academia, education, IT, engineering, finance and health. Eleanor is qualified in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She’s the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners, a free resource for trainers.

Lights, camera, action. 3 ways to look brilliant on Zoom

In high school, I studied an unusual mix of subjects. I scrapped math classes early on, in favour of drama, filmmaking and even busking skills. In 2020, I finally had an opportunity to capitalise on all that learning. It turned out my mix of performance experience was ideally suited to delivering training on Zoom. While other trainers struggled to keep audiences engaged, I revelled in the opportunity to use my stagecraft and video production know-how.

 

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If you’re not quite so experienced in these areas, here are some tips you can use to improve your Zoom presentations.

  1. Get your lighting right. Invest in a cheap lighting kit and leave it set up at your desk.
  2. Get off your butt. Don’t deliver from a seated position. Stand up and perform in the same way you do in the training room.
  3. Alternate between having your video on and focusing purely on the slides. This adds a bit of visual variety for your audience.

Of course, these are just a few tips to get you started. To really deliver an impressive performance on Zoom, you need to constantly upgrade your skills. The good news is doing this is fun. If you have a strong creative streak, like me, you’ll find it an amazingly inspiring journey.

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a positive psychology trainer. She designs bespoke programs for organisations and individuals who want to promote ‘positive deviance’ in business. Her expertise in teaching social and emotional intelligence skills makes Eleanor a highly sought-after facilitator. Eleanor’s qualifications are in Positive Psychology, Social Anthropology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners .

What is a curiosity mindset? by Eleanor Shakiba


 
This video is part of a positive psychology series. Find out more about positive psychology in Eleanor’s free eBook, the Positive Psychology Toolkit.

Unlock your creative talent by strengthening your curiosity muscle. Chris Peterson and Martin Seligman say curiosity is one of five strengths which promote wisdom. They define curiosity as “taking an interest in ongoing experience for its own sake; finding subjects and topics fascinating; exploring and discovering”. In this quick introduction to curiosity mindset, Eleanor Shakiba shares how you can foster curiosity thinking in your business.

This video on curiosity mindset is part of a playlist of positive psychology videos by master trainer, Eleanor Shakiba. If you’re looking for resilience videos or positive thinking videos, subscribe to Eleanor’s channel for regular updates. To book Eleanor to train your team, visit her official site at Think Learn Succeed. To purchase training materials on resilience, learned optimism and employee wellbeing, visit the Think Learn Succeed shop.

 

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About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a specialist in positive psychology. Her passion is teaching talented people to use social and emotional intelligence to excel in business. These skills centre around building positive mindsets, proactive communication habits and purposeful leadership behaviours. Eleanor’s qualifications include degrees and diplomas in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She is also the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. This is a free resource for trainers and facilitators.

What I learned about resilience from pandemic psychology

If ever there was a year to specialise in resilience training, 2020 was it. March and April were scary months for me. Long-term clients were shutting their doors permanently. For the first time in 14 years, my business was in trouble. As I adjusted to the thought of retiring early, the phone began ringing. Smart HR practitioners and leaders realised their people needed support. Standard resilience training wasn’t going to be sufficient. Smart leaders wanted training that would engage and connect. Training with great content, stories and interactive exercises.

To solve this problem, I developed my pandemic psychology and resilience program. This has proved to be a hit in a number of industries. Designing this program made me revisit the basic principles of resilience and thriving in adversity. Thus, I was observing my own coping skills, plus those of the small businesses in my community. From this processing of experience, I learned some deep lessons which have translated into my resilience program content.

Passion and purpose make the difference to survival

In the early days of social distancing regulations, a number of cafés in my area shutdown permanently. Not so with my favourite coffee shop. Indeed, this spot became a favourite haunt of many locals. Why? Because despite a significant drop in business, the owners remained positive. They responded to the times by introducing a new range of comfort food. Sweet treats, soup and new breakfast dishes drew the crowds. Not only that, my 10 minutes coffee excursion became my daily shot of positive connection. It was the community that gathered in this spot that made the difference.

Surprisingly few people have mastered ‘mental hygiene’

I was commissioned to run several webinars on resilience and pandemic psychology. These free sessions drew hundreds of people to each webinar. As I responded to participants’ questions, I was struck by how little knowledge many people possess around basic emotion regulation skills. These skills are essential in tough times. Distress levels were high for many people because they did not know how to self soothe and assess risk in a logical manner.

 

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Great leaders foster hope during tough times

I worked with a number of healthcare teams and frontline response teams during the pandemic. What was glaringly obvious was that teams whose leaders focus them on a hopeful vision of the future thrived. In teams where leaders became stressed, anxious or disheartened, team morale dropped and individual coping skills suffered. If there is one key message I take from this, it’s that leadership is easy in bright times. When clouds descend, the optimism and hopefulness of a leader makes the difference between those who burn out and those who cope.

To learn in tough times, people need help processing their experiences

It’s one thing to deliver a resilience presentation. It’s a significantly different matter to teach the thinking and behaviour habits that foster mental stamina. Great training enables people to work through the emotions, such as fear or panic, which potentially block learning. And it presents simple and actionable tools which people can apply immediately after the session.

Like everyone, I learned many new skills and created a range of new habits during COVID-19 19. Yet, I kept coming back to the basic principles of positive psychology. I am deeply grateful that I had experience in this field before facing the significant challenges COVID-19 presented to my business. If you’re an HR practitioner or trainer who believes positive psychology can help your people, download my Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners here.

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a specialist in positive psychology. Her passion is teaching talented people to use social and emotional intelligence to excel in business. These skills centre around building positive mindsets, proactive communication habits and purposeful leadership behaviours. Eleanor’s qualifications include degrees and diplomas in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She is also the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. This is a free resource for trainers and facilitators.

Dangerous confidence: beware

Have you ever been given advice by someone who sounded confident, but turned out to be wrong? I certainly have. For example, I once asked my team whether it was possible to automatically add up the cells in Microsoft Word. “Definitely not,” they said. For the next twelve months, we wasted valuable time manually adding up long strings of data. Finally, I paused to reflect. After all, computers are designed to manipulate data. Surely, a simple addition in Word would be possible? Of course, a short Google search established that this was, indeed, the case.

Fortunately for me, seemingly trivial incidents like this have taught me to question even the most confidently delivered advice. I now make it a habit to ask, “How do you know that?” whenever I am seeking advice. What I’ve learned from this is there are three main situations where questioning a confidently delivered opinion can pay off.

  • When mitigating risks
  • If you’re encountering resistance to change or new ideas
  • When seeking expert opinions or advice on an issue you have little knowledge of

 

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In these situations, it pays to check the underlying assumptions behind a confident speaker’s opinions. I like to use NLP meta modelling techniques when doing this. Essentially, these techniques help you spot the ‘presuppositions’ (or assumptions) a statement is based on. You can then zero in on those presuppositions and check their implications for the decision you are making. Useful questions include:

  • What is that advice based on?
  • Can you talk me through the assumptions this advice is drawing on?
  • When you say ….is obvious, what makes it obvious to you?
  • Based on your experience, what are the key things I need to remember when putting this advice into action?
  • What is your training and experience in this area?
  • What assumptions are you making about my situation when you offer this opinion?

If you’d like to find out more how to use positive psychology in your training and development activities, download Eleanor Shakiba’s Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners.

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a specialist in positive psychology. Her passion is teaching talented people to use social and emotional intelligence to excel in business. These skills centre around building positive mindsets, proactive communication habits and purposeful leadership behaviours. Eleanor’s qualifications include degrees and diplomas in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She is also the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. This is a free resource for trainers and facilitators.

Using fear of failure to inspire confidence by Eleanor Shakiba


 
Enrol in Eleanor Shakiba’s online courses and coaching here. Or download her free e-book, the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners here.

For many people, pandemic change is triggering fear of failure and anxiety about the future. How can we deal with this, when the future seems so unpredictable? In this video, Eleanor Shakiba shares insights into what a fearful state is and how to respond to it resourcefully.

 

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About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a specialist in positive psychology. Her passion is teaching talented people to use social and emotional intelligence to excel in business. These skills centre around building positive mindsets, proactive communication habits and purposeful leadership behaviours. Eleanor’s qualifications include degrees and diplomas in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She is also the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. This is a free resource for trainers and facilitators.