1. Watch out for danger
The longer you participate in a gossip session, the harder it is to walk away. So watch out for early signs that a conversation is deteriorating into negative gossip. For example, phrases like “did you hear about…” or “don’t tell anyone else but…” might precede gossip. Or people might look over their shoulders and lower their voices. When these things happen, be ready to act.
Gossiping involves sharing unsubstantiated information. Gossiping at work is a normal behaviour – it is a way of sharing news and bonding with colleagues. Most gossip is innocent and helps connect people. But when gossip becomes malicious and nasty, it is a toxic behaviour. You can tell that a conversation has moved beyond harmless chitchat when:
There are many situations where you need to express disagreement tactfully. For example, you might need to express concern about an idea promoted by your boss. Your parents might have expectations you can’t meet. Or you might need to keep your partner on-side, whilst telling them your opinion differs from theirs. In these situations, you can use the following process.
The benefits of resolving conflict include better team dynamics, less personal stress and increased creativity. The aim of conflict resolution is to create fair solutions, which everyone can agree to. There are five steps involved in resolving conflict.
If you want to experience less stress during your family’s Christmas celebrations, you need to abandon old behaviour patterns. Here are three ways to do this.
Speak their language
People listen to what makes sense to them. This means you need to frame your message from their perspective. For example, there’s a big difference between the following two statements. Which would you be most likely to listen to?
Being talked over is annoying and frustrating. People do it for different reasons. Some people care so much about the topic under discussion that they forget to wait for your input. Others are just egocentric. You need to recognise the difference. People who are enthusiastic will only talk over you occasionally. Those who are egocentric will make it a habit. They are insecure – being the centre of attention compensates for their own inadequacies.
Your boundaries define the ‘space’ you place between yourself and others – both physically and psychologically. Healthy boundaries help you make appropriate contact with others. Unhealthy boundaries can create a sense of detachment or over-dependence on others.
This technique involves repeating your message until it is heard. The name ‘Broken Record’ refers to what happens when old fashioned vinyl records are scratched – the needle of a record player loops over the same section of the recording indefinitely. There are six steps involved in using Broken Record.
You don’t have to put up with verbal abuse. Whether it happens at work or at home, there is something you can do about it. Here are four steps to take when you’re the target of verbal abuse.
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