Overthinking? Break the habit in 3 seconds

Overthinking is a huge barrier to productivity and achievement. While it’s sensible to think things through, you can take this process too far. Signs you’ve move beyond critical thinking into rumination or overthinking include:

  • Endlessly debating the pros and cons of an idea
  • Continuously searching for new information, rather than making a decision
  • Obsessing about small details
  • Creating multiple scenarios about the future in your mind
  • Taking much longer than your peers to make simple decisions

There are many triggers for overthinking. Behind most of them, though, runs a common theme. Fear of failure or social shame. Early childhood experiences can contribute to this type of fear. However, you’re not a child anymore. As an independent adult, you can choose to change your habits. And this includes the thinking habits that lead to rumination and procrastination.

Yes, overthinking is simply a habit. That habit might have formed as a way of protecting yourself from criticism, teasing or punishment. Seen this way, it’s a sensible strategy. But it doesn’t have to be your only strategy. If you’re finding overthinking is becoming a problem, it’s time to install some alternative behavioural options.

Fortunately, creating new habits is surprisingly simple. The key to success is finding behaviours you can substitute for the old ones. For example, imagine someone who is trying to quit eating biscuits during their tea break. Most people would try to change this habit by focusing on not eating biscuits. Brain smart people, though, would do something different. They’d substitute a healthy food (like fruit) for their old treat. Having an alternative readily available, would make it much easier to change behaviour in this situation.

Ditching your overthinking habit can be just as simple. So what’s the behaviour you need to adjust? Psychologists have shown it’s the process of thinking without pausing. Knowing this makes it simple to change. All you have to do is hit the pause button.

Stop a moment and think about that. Instead of letting your mind race, you need to find a moment of stillness. This breaks the cycle of rumination and catastrophic thinking. Technically, you’re doing a ‘pattern interruption’. In other words, you’re disrupting your habitual pattern of unhelpful thinking.

 

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Once you’ve paused your thoughts, the next step is to redirect them. My favourite technique for doing this is the ‘3-2-1 strategy’. This simply involves counting down from 3 to 1 and then choosing your next action. There are three options to choose from.

  • 3-2-1 act now
  • 3-2-1 refuse
  • 3-2-1 refer

As the name suggests, ‘3-2-1 act now’ involves taking immediate action. The point of this strategy is to move from procrastination to action mode. If this feels confronting, remember that if your first action doesn’t work, you can do something else. At least you’ve broken the pattern of indecisiveness that your previous thinking style created.

The ‘3-2-1 refuse’ strategy is used to say “no” to others’ requests or to discard unhelpful ideas before they waste too much time. Put this strategy to use by simply saying no and moving on to your preferred course of action.

Finally, the ‘3-2-1 refer’ strategy is useful when you need to seek others’ opinions or get expert advice. The idea here is to frame a question and seek answers from someone with subject matter expertise. It can save you hours of research because you will be going to someone who already knows the answer to your question.

So there you have it. Three simple ways to move from overthinking to productive action. Remember that your confidence will grow as you shift your mindset.

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a trainer and coach, with a passion for unleashing the power of positive deviance in talented people. She has taught more than 50,000 people how to excel professionally. An expert in the field of Positive Psychology, Eleanor is also qualified in Social Anthropology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She specialises in helping HR and L&D practitioners to unleash the power of positive psychology in business. Her major focus in developing three key areas that support positive workplace cultures: positive mindset, proactive communication and purposeful leadership. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. Download your free copy here.

Beating stress with flow theory


 
In tough times, you’re likely to experience fight or flight reactions. These are adaptive states whcich help you cope with short-term stress. However, staying in a fight or flight state for more than a few days can damage your physical and psychological wellbeing. In this video, positive psychology trainer, Eleanor Shakiba, explains how to reduce stress by entering a flow state. Watch Reducing Stress with Flow Theory now.

 

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About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a specialist in positive psychology. Her passion is teaching talented people to use social and emotional intelligence to excel in business. These skills centre around building positive mindsets, proactive communication habits and purposeful leadership behaviours. Eleanor’s qualifications include degrees and diplomas in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She is also the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. This is a free resource for trainers and facilitators.

At 15, I joined the local theatre company

Signing up to a theatre group was an unusual choice for a shy, awkward teenager. I suffered badly from stage fright, a factor I first realised when I joined the school debating team. While other teenage girls were rolling their skirts up at the waist to shorten them, I insisted on buying the longest skirt I could find. Why? It meant I could cover my shaking knees while standing onstage.

But there was something about performing that intrigued me and inspired me to overcome the discomfort. I loved the work involved in rehearsing and refining a performance. Connecting with an audience inspired me. I became obsessed with getting better at stagecraft. Of course, as I practised my craft, the fear gradually subsided. It never fully disappeared, but it was more manageable now.

So, I joined a drama class during school holidays. That’s where I met my first mentor. Her name was Mary Spicer, and she was co-director of the local theatre company. I was fascinated by her tales of producing and touring plays in England before she moved to rural Australia. I questioned Mary on every aspect of performance I could think of. I wanted to know how to write plays. I wanted to learn how to stage them. I was torn between directing and acting. And I wanted to learn everything I could from my new role model.

Mary spotted something in me. She invited me to visit the theatre during one of their rehearsals. I was so excited as I walked through the stage door. A musty, dark space greeted me. The smell of theatre makeup anchored itself in my memory. I recall the lights on stage and the echo of the actors’ voices in an empty auditorium. I was mesmerised.

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Mary signed me up as the youngest member of the company. I spent my weekends and evenings backstage, becoming the props assistant and then a stage manager. Occasionally, I got to play bit parts. However, most of my time was spent observing the dynamics backstage. The actors adopted me and answered all my eager questions with patience and wisdom. The lessons I learned in those conversations have lived with me for life.

As an introvert, this group was the first that I truly felt I belonged to. In the Lieder Theatre, I discovered the power of connecting with like-minded people. I encountered the resonance of positivity, which Barbara Fredrickson describes so well in her work. As a teenager, I didn’t recognise that I was immersed in a positive space. However, I did know this was something that made me feel happy and optimistic.

Looking back, I don’t think it’s a coincidence I became a specialist in group dynamics and facilitation. I modelled the brilliance of Mary, and her husband John, as they drew out star performances from their casts. I soon began writing and producing my own plays, which gave me an opportunity to try out what I’d observed in the theatre. All that experience became encoded in my work and life.

So I am grateful for the kindness and inspiration of those early role models. I also hope that I will be a similar role model for the people I meet. What I’ve learned through the dynamics of performing is that everyone has wisdom to express. We are all capable of taking our place onstage. And anyone can build the confidence and performance skills they need to express the unique blend of strengths that make them special.

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a specialist in positive psychology. Her passion is teaching talented people to use social and emotional intelligence to excel in business. These skills centre around building positive mindsets, proactive communication habits and purposeful leadership behaviours. Eleanor’s qualifications include degrees and diplomas in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She is also the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. This is a free resource for trainers and facilitators.

Trainers! Change this Zoom setting today

Presenting on Zoom adds an extra layer of complexity to any training course. Not only do you need to manage the tech issues but seeing yourself in action can distract you from doing a good job. That’s why I always turn my ‘self-view’ off before starting a session.

Most presenters don’t even realise they can do this. Yet its remarkably easy. Right click on your video panel. This will display a menu which includes the option ‘hide self-view’. Then voila! No more distraction.

 

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Here’s another tip. Tell your audience about this setting. Many people turn their cameras off because they dislike looking at themselves. This impacts group dynamics during training. So if you quickly brief the group on how to ‘switch off self’, you will often find that people are much happier leaving their cameras on. It’s also useful to know that this improves the dynamic of conversations in breakout groups. This is probably because participants focus on each other, rather than admiring their own faces.

Who would have known that improving Zoom sessions and reducing fatigue could be so easy? This is the sort of tip that can make a huge difference to your performance as a presenter or trainer. As is often the case, a simple change can reap a huge result.

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a positive psychology trainer and coach. She consults to a range of sectors – including higher education, health, finance and local government. Eleanor has been running training and coaching sessions for people in high intellect professions since 1994. She is qualified in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She is also the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners . This is a free resource for trainers and facilitators.

What is culture building? by Eleanor Shakiba


 
This video is part of a positive psychology series. Find out more about positive psychology in Eleanor’s free eBook, the Positive Psychology Toolkit.

Do you want a workplace where people are resilient, positive and creative? You can build that business by working on your organisational culture. Edgar Schein made the term ‘organisational culture’ popular. He defined culture as the “beliefs, values and interactions followed by a group”. In this video, positive psychology trainer Eleanor Shakiba provides concrete steps leaders can take to shape workplace culture and build flourishing teams. If your business doesn’t have this type of culture yet, it’s time to start learning more about positive leadership and culture change.

This video on organisational culture is part of a playlist of positive psychology videos by master trainer, Eleanor Shakiba. If you’re looking for resilience videos or positive thinking videos, subscribe to Eleanor’s channel for regular updates. To book Eleanor to train your team, visit her official site at Think Learn Succeed. To purchase training materials on resilience, learned optimism and employee wellbeing, visit the Think Learn Succeed shop.

 

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About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a specialist in positive psychology. Her passion is teaching talented people to use social and emotional intelligence to excel in business. These skills centre around building positive mindsets, proactive communication habits and purposeful leadership behaviours. Eleanor’s qualifications include degrees and diplomas in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She is also the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. This is a free resource for trainers and facilitators.

How I made my Zoom training even better than face-to-face

Presenting online training is tricky. Indeed, before Covid 19 forced me into the online space, big time, I believed Zoom training was a poor second to face-to-face. 2020 proved me wrong. It taught me that masterful facilitation leads to deep learning, regardless of the delivery medium.

If you’ve been disappointed or exhausted by an online program, don’t blame Zoom. Blame the facilitator. There is a real knack to keeping engagement and energy levels high online. Trainers who specialise in experiential and group work techniques seem to have an advantage over those grounded in pure presentation skills.

I’ve been very pleasantly surprised by the versatility online training can provide. During my unexpected foray into online delivery, I’ve learned that small group, online sessions can very productive. Even more so than learning events delivered classroom style. Here are five surprising benefits of working online as a facilitator.

Breakout rooms are great for small groups to work in

Zoom breakout spaces are far less hectic than on-site breakouts. Provided that participants manage background noise, Zoom spaces create a more intimate and easier to manage dynamic than poorly designed training rooms. The biggest advantage Zoom has over a physical classroom is that it enables small groups to work in a far more confidential manner. More than is possible in a live training environment involving a single space with small work groups spread around it. I confess, this is my favourite discovery about working online.

 

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Trainers are forced to be more disciplined about briefing

Whoever designed Zoom breakout spaces didn’t factor in a trainer’s need to display slideshows in breakout spaces. This forces facilitators to create separate briefing documents for all their group activities. An unexpected benefit of this, is that groups stay on focus far more effectively than when they’re working from a slide displayed at the front of the training room. During 2020, I discovered that exactly the same exercises I use face-to-face work equally well once briefing documents are converted to fit the online environment.

Names are easier for everyone to read

Name tags and place cards have their limits. As they get older, for example, many people cannot read a name tag across the room. Working online enables us to all have our names clearly displayed at all times. This subtly influences group dynamics, because it allows people with poor memories to refer to their co-learners by name. Several participants in my online programs have commented on how much difference this single aspect of Zoom delivery makes for their comfort levels.

Learner personalities are often easier to read in virtual environments

You’ve probably noticed how you get a different sense of someone when you can see their home environment behind them. Even if a learner is using a virtual background, this still creates an interesting frame for their personality. Facilitators can capitalise on this peak into people’s individuality by subtly making use of learners’ own environments during training programs.

Distant peers become closer during online delivery

The most exciting part of my 2020 online experience was delivering a sustainability program. This involved participants Zooming in from Africa, the Middle East, Europe and Asia. The group was small enough to enable us all to have our cameras switched on, rather than working in webinar mode. This made participants’ experiences far more real as people told their stories. The Zoom environment provided us all with a fascinating glimpse into others’ cultures and working environments. The end result was a more connected and stronger learning environment.

So who would have thought I’d be singing the praises of online delivery? Certainly not me 12 months ago. I’m grateful to the COVID-19 19 pandemic for giving me a reason to explore ways to translate effective facilitation into the online environment. After all, now I’m in this space, it will be easier to reach my goal of bringing positive psychology to 100,000 people around the world.

If you’d like to find out more about how to be an expert facilitator, not just a presenter, download my Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners now.

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a trainer and coach, with a passion for unleashing the power of positive deviance in talented people. She has taught more than 50,000 people how to excel professionally. An expert in the field of Positive Psychology, Eleanor is also qualified in Social Anthropology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She specialises in helping HR and L&D practitioners to unleash the power of positive psychology in business. Her major focus in developing three key areas that support positive workplace cultures: positive mindset, proactive communication and purposeful leadership. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. Download your free copy here.

Building culture is like trying to see a blind spot

If you’re struggling to ‘build’ or restructure your organisational culture, you’re probably grappling with a little-known paradox. You can’t shape culture from within that culture, because the culture is shaping you. As a positive psychology trainer with a background in anthropology, I see the task of redefining cultural norms is exactly the same as trying to see a blind spot.

Only people with a real blind spot (and I am one of them) know that you never can see a blind spot. So, the commonly used metaphor of exposing a blind spot in order to gain insight just doesn’t work. If you have a blind spot, although you know it is there, your perception is still always influenced by the ‘whole’ in your visual field. Thus, despite knowing you have areas of blindness, you will still inevitably collide with objects that fall into the blind spot. To prevent this happening, you therefore need to adapt the way you look at the world.

Exactly the same principle applies to ‘seeing’ problematic aspects of organisational culture. A trainer or facilitator situated within a business cannot fully understand the culture of that business, simply because they are part of it. This doesn’t mean internal efforts to build culture are doomed. However, it does mean it’s wise to broaden your perspective and get input from outside the system in order to accelerate your culture change efforts.

 

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As a positive psychology trainer with a bent for the anthropological, here are three ways I suggest you do this.

  • Pay attention to the gap between what people say and what they actually do. Culture change experts call this the gap between espoused theory and theory in use.
  • Seek input from people outside your system. This can include customers, industry experts and culture change consultants.
  • Focus your efforts on strengthening what’s working, rather than trying to eliminate what isn’t working. Being strengths focused shifts your attention to activities which will improve engagement far more than punishing people for so-called negative behavioural norms.

During the chaos of pandemic change that characterised 2020, did you notice how organisations with positive cultures thrived? This isn’t a coincidence. This is why all leaders and organisational development experts should take culture seriously. Make reflecting on and shaping culture an ongoing process, though. In this way, you will develop the reflective practices that we advocate in every session we develop in our Learn with Eleanor Shakiba online programs.

If you’re interested in using positive psychology training tools to develop thriving organisational cultures, download my free e-book, Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners.

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor consults in the area of culture-building and behaviour change training. Her customers are people who want to embed positive psychology in teams and organisations. Since 1994, she has been teaching talented professionals how to think, communicate and lead in ways that build success. Eleanor holds qualifications in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. Download your free copy here.

12 tools for smart trainers: experiential learning

Reading about how to do something isn’t the same as doing something. If you want to learn to fish, you need to master the use of a fishing pole. The same concept can be applied to corporate training. Smart facilitators don’t tell people how to do things. They use experiential learning techniques to foster skill development.

The idea behind experiential learning is that people learn best by doing. Instead of listening to a lecture, they learn by trying things out, taking action or reflecting on past experiences. Your job, as the group leader, is to ensure that positive learning emerges (even when individuals experience setbacks, challenges or ‘failures’). This is why having a grounding in positive psychology training techniques will help you use experiential learning methods with better results.

Internships are an example of experiential learning. Interns develop their skills by observing the work of experienced individuals in their fields. They also have the chance to apply their skills and knowledge under supervision. Experiential learning in a business setting offers the same benefits.

David Kolb is credited with developing an easy-to-apply model of experiential learning. He defined four components of experiential learning, all of which align well with positive psychology techniques.

  • Concrete experience
  • Reflective observation
  • Abstract conceptualisation
  • Active experimentation

 

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What does this mean for your work as a facilitator or training? To use experiential learning techniques, you need to provide opportunities for learners need to be actively involved. Then you need to help them reflect on their experiences and develop ‘wisdom’ and understanding. Finally, you need to encourage learners to develop plans for building on their knowledge and continuing to reflect on their results. Repeating the cycle allows individuals to continue growing and developing.

Here are some techniques that trigger experiential learning:

  • Role play
  • Real play (in which learners share a story and re-enact it)
  • Simulation
  • Action learning projects
  • Review-and-reflect written activities

Are you keen to start using experiential learning techniques? Great idea! They can be used in a huge range of contexts. Start by mastering these four skills, without which activities are simply space-fillers in a training session.

  1. Activity design
  2. Framing and briefing
  3. Feedback and coaching
  4. Debriefing

Yes, learning to facilitate experiential activities does take time. However, it’s time worth investing. Ultimately it will lead to faster, more sustained learning. It’s also a useful way to begin building critical thinking skills in your learners. It allows them to use their existing skills and knowledge, which promotes confidence. It also encourages people to explore new concepts and solutions, boosting problem-solving skills.

Want to master experiential learning techniques? Enrol in a trainers’ master class with Eleanor Shakiba today.

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a specialist in positive psychology training. Her core strength is creativity, which she expresses in the training room through storytelling and visual design. She has dedicated her career to helping experienced professionals break through glass ceilings by developing their confidence, communication skills and leadership mastery. Eleanor is qualified in a range of fields including Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She is also the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. This is a free resource for trainers and facilitators.

What is ‘organisational culture’ and how do you build it?

Imagine a business where everyone is committed, engaged and inspired to do their best. A workplace where people are resilient, positive and creative. You can build that business by working on your organisational culture. The science of positive psychology provides concrete steps leaders can take to shape workplace culture and build flourishing teams.

Anthropologists define culture as ‘a way of life’. Culture impacts how people think, speak and behave. But what about ‘organisational culture’? It is probably a term you throw around regularly. Do you actually know what it means? The idea that the culture of an organisation influences the actions of workers was introduced in 1951, by Dr Elliott Jaques. He studied the development and impact of corporate group behaviours. His conclusion was that the overall culture of an organisation guides the actions of everyone working there.

A social psychologist named Edgar Schein made the term ‘organisational culture’ popular. He defined culture as the “beliefs, values and interactions followed by a group”. He also pointed out subcultures emerge in large organisations. For example, a business division or regional group may operate differently to other parts of the organisation. This point is particularly relevant if you work in a multi-national organisation.

In 2011, Flamholtz and Randle claimed that organisational culture is equal to the ‘corporate personality’. They defined organisational cultures as being an outcome of the beliefs, values and norms people adhere to. However, it is important to recognise that most people are not consciously aware of their beliefs, values and norms. As positive psychology trainers know all too well, gaps often exist between what people say and what they do. For example, a leader might claim to value employee input. At meanings, though, everyone might be afraid to speak up because the leader does not tolerate new ideas.

 

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Over the years, positive psychology trainers have developed a variety of techniques and practices for driving a cultural change within an organisation. Before an organisation can change its culture, you need to have clearly defined values and behaviours for others to follow. People cannot fit into a culture if they don’t know that it exists. Translate the values that you want to achieve into actionable behaviours. For example, if you want to promote inclusiveness, provide real-world solutions for achieving this goal.

Leaders need to take a detailed look at current policies and practices to determine what works and what needs to change. Keep the elements of your organisational culture that work well and promote your goals.

Focus more on the strengths of your organisational culture. In positive psychology, identifying and enabling a positive trait is believed to foster greater resilience. By focusing on what works, you naturally begin shifting the culture of your organisation.

After devising a plan and setting a new agenda, it is up to the leaders to set an example. Supervisors and managers need to adopt the changes if you want the rest of the workforce to follow them. Measuring your efforts is also essential. You cannot evaluate the effectiveness of your strategies without monitoring the impact. Use concrete metrics to measure employee engagement, morale and productivity to determine whether your culture is shifting toward the positive.

You know as soon as you walk into an organisation with a vibrant culture. There is a buzz of positive conversation and energy levels are high. You notice people solving problems together and finding constructive solutions to challenging situations. If your business doesn’t have this type of culture yet, it’s time to start learning more about positive leadership and culture change. By actively setting the values and beliefs for an organisation, you can get others to follow the same vision. Contact Eleanor Shakiba for more advice on how to build a positive organisational culture, using positive psychology training techniques.

 

About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor consults in the areas of culture-building and behaviour change training. Her customers are people who want to embed positive psychology in teams and organisations. Since 1994, she has been teaching talented professionals how to think, communicate and lead in ways that build success. Eleanor holds qualifications in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. Eleanor is the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. Download your free copy here.

Shifting perspectives on a problem by Eleanor Shakiba


 
Enrol in Eleanor Shakiba’s online courses and coaching here. Or download her free e-book, the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D practitioners here.

Confident and resilient people respond to problems differently to those of us who feel helpless or anxious. They shift perspectives and seek solutions. Hear positive psychology trainer, Eleanor Shakiba, explain how perspective-changing works at a psychological level. Find out how to shift into solution-finding mode and overcome feelings of low confidence or overwhelm during stressful times.

 

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About the author: Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a specialist in positive psychology. Her passion is teaching talented people to use social and emotional intelligence to excel in business. These skills centre around building positive mindsets, proactive communication habits and purposeful leadership behaviours. Eleanor’s qualifications include degrees and diplomas in Social Anthropology, Positive Psychology, Counselling, Coaching, Adult Education and Neuro Linguistic Programming. She is also the author of the Positive Psychology Toolkit for HR and L&D Practitioners. This is a free resource for trainers and facilitators.