Focus on one issue at a time
Difficult negotiations can be derailed by side issues. So you need to focus and keep the conversation focussed on one thing at a time. Sometimes, during conflict, the other person deliberately tries to take the conversation off-track. But you can prevent diversions by identifying the key issue which needs to be resolved.
Yes. Other people behave badly sometimes. But there are constructive ways you can broach tricky subjects, minimise conflict and move beyond impasses. Here are five ways to get started.
Widen your perspective
To influence others, you need to make what you say matter to them. Look at your proposal from their perspective as well as from your own. What benefits are important to them? How will what you want also help them? Be as specific as possible and keep in mind that different people have different needs and aspirations. Tailor what you say to the particular person you say it to.
Rapport is like glue which holds human relationships together. Being in rapport involves making a positive connection. It creates a sense you’re the same page as someone else. Rapport gets things done. And a lack of rapport can be a barrier to effective communication.
Have you noticed how quickly bad attitudes can spread through a team? They seem far more contagious than good attitudes. And there’s a reason for this. Our brains are ‘wired’ to pick up emotions – in particular, emotions which signal something is wrong. Negativity is one of those emotions. But there are steps you can take to prevent yourself catching a team mate’s bad attitude.
Here’s how we’d help Rob deal with this problem. You can use the same strategies to improve communication with your team or coworkers.
A presupposition is a statement or question that includes an unstated assumption. It takes for granted that the assumption is true. Whether or not it is actually true is another matter.
Good intentions aren’t everything
Imagine you are trying to help someone with a problem. You are doing your best to listen, but the other person keeps saying ‘No, I don’t mean that. What I mean is…’ The conversation is going nowhere fast.
So what is going wrong here? You are genuinely trying to help, so why does the other person feel so frustrated and misunderstood?
Although her presentation is well prepared, Abby is feeling unsure about how well received it will be. She is suffering from pre-speech nerves. Here’s how we’d help Abby deal with this problem. You can use the same strategies to prepare for your presentations.
If you need to break bad news, you need to frame your message carefully. Framing is all about choosing the right words – the words which will minimise resistance to your message. Giving bad news is never fun. Whether you’re telling someone they didn’t get the job or that their work isn’t up to scratch, you’ll probably be choosing your words carefully. Here’s how to frame your message effectively.
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