First-rate negotiators are adroit influencers. They know how to subtly guide their counterparts’ thinking by making smart linguistic choices. These are word choices that prime a listener to give a positive reaction. Think about the most influential people you know. I bet they’re skilled in the art of priming. They keep others on-side by framing their messages in positive and collaborative language. This means they get ‘yes’ responses more frequently.
It’s a frustrating situation. During a high-stakes negotiation, your counterpart shoots down every idea you put on the table. They respond to every suggestion you make with a resounding ‘no’. They definitely don’t seem to know how to disagree without being disagreeable. Oh dear. This behaviour can really bog down a negotiation and create a stalemate.
Do you think of negotiation as a stress-inducing activity, or do you see it as fun? If you answered fun, you’re operating from the same mindset as a savvy negotiator. Savvy negotiators take pleasure in the art of communicating with their counterparts. They enjoy the to-and-fro of concession exchange. They’re also playful and creative in both their thinking and communication patterns. They enter what positive psychologists call a flow state. Being in this state vastly increases their negotiation effectiveness.
When you think of win-win negotiation, what comes to mind? Obviously, a key tenet of the win-win approach is the idea of winning together, or mutual gain. But in practical terms, what exactly does this mean? For inexperienced negotiators, striving too hard to show a co-operative approach can blur the line between collaboration and capitulation. What’s the difference? And why does it matter?
What’s the difference between negotiators who cave in at the first sign of opposition and those who persist, are assertive and create win-win deals? It’s not just skill-set, it’s mindset. I’ve observed thousands of negotiation role plays. And I’ve noticed that people with positive, can-do attitudes tend to get better deals than those with less resilient mindsets. So what is resilience, and how can you apply it in your real-life negotiations?
Lately, there has been a lot of discussion about how disparity in pay rates is impacting professional women. Attention is being paid to the consequences of pay gaps between men and women. Whether it’s framed as women working for free one day a fortnight or losing hundreds of thousands of dollars over their working lives, it’s obvious that the problem is impacting in very real ways.
I love people-watching. As a trainer, of course, I have ample opportunity to do so. While groups are completing roleplays or activities, it’s my job is to observe their body language patterns and communication habits. Many years of closer observation have brought my attention to a problem which creates ‘glass ceiling moments’ for female negotiators. Here’s what I’ve noticed, when women step into senior roles, body language patterns that previously helped them in negotiation begin to backfire. For example, patterns of smiling frequently often can help a woman be successful in a junior role. When she’s attempting to negotiate as a leader, however, smiling too often will reduce her credibility and be perceived as an anxious habit.
Welcome to 2018. I hope this year will be a successful and vibrant year for you. I’m here to help you make it one! This year’s ‘tips for success’ series will focus on bringing together what I know about Neuro Linguistic Programming and Positive Psychology. Why? Because I’m passionate about these two disciplines. I believe that by honing the ways you think and behave, you can achieve the results you want. And that’s what Neuro Linguistic Programming and Positive Psychology help you to do.
Positive psychologists have shown that people who take opportunities are the people who notice them in the first place. You can change your awareness so that you’re able to catch opportunities when they present themselves.
In my work as a success coach I’ve noticed that women who take opportunities use the principles of positive thinking. If you want to do this there are four key steps you can take to make sure you’re checking out each doorway. Read more
Don’t let success pass you by. Learn how to make the most of opportunities in your life. Hear how to spot potential opportunities and grab hold of them. Find out how to expand your networks and get more support from other people.
Fortnightly tips and videos to inspire Difference Makers and Future Shapers as their efforts change the world.