By Eleanor Shakiba Dynamic leadership 0 Comments

Leadership is your job, not your identity!

Are you feeling overloaded and overwhelmed by the demands of your management role? You’re not alone in that! Many managers find themselves in this position at some point. Often, it happens because you haven’t learned to separate your self-concept from your job. And it leads to problems like workaholism and toxic persistence.

Does this resonate with you? Well, fear not! I’m about to explain the difference between the two and give you some tips on how to avoid this trap. As a leader, it’s important to recognise that your job is not the same as your identity. Your job is what you do, while your identity is who you are. Separating the two allows for a healthier and more resilient leadership career. And it is easy to do once you stop making three rookie leadership mistakes.

Mistake 1: Failing to see leadership as new career

It’s easy to fall into the trap of treating leadership as just an extension of your old professional role. But this is huge mistake. It feeds overwork, perfectionism and control-freak tendencies. As a manager, you need to see that leadership is not just a role. It is a distinct profession. That’s why management and leadership courses exist! So don’t assume you already have what it takes. Drop your old ways of doing things and start mastering the art of leadership!

 

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Mistake 2: seeking to please everyone

Woops! This is a biggie! New managers, in particular, often mistakenly think they need to keep everyone happy. But the truth is, you can’t! Nor should you. After all, leaders sometimes need to make tough decisions and handle difficult situations. Trying to please everyone will only create confusion, conflict and stress. Instead, focus on making the best decisions for your team and organisation. And don’t be afraid to communicate your decisions and reasoning clearly.

Mistake 3: confusing your job with who you are

Remember this. You are not your job. It’s important to have interests, hobbies and relationships outside of work. Plus, continuously striving to be the perfect manager will only lead to burnout and disappointment. Instead, focus on being real. Set boundaries, delegate and take care of your job is just one part of your life – don’t let it take over your entire identity.

So, are you ready to stop making these rookie leadership mistakes and start creating a healthier and more fulfilling career? Remember, your job is what you do, not who you are. So go forth and lead with clarity and confidence! By untangling your identity from your work role, you’ll bring authenticity, adaptability, and renewed energy to your leadership.

This article was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer and success coach. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.  Since discovering her passion for training and development, Eleanor has trained more than 60,000 people. She delivers face-to-face workshops for corporates, online masterclasses for leaders and Positive Psychology retreats for trainers, HR practitioners and leaders. 

By Eleanor Shakiba POSITIVE PSYCHOLOGY 0 Comments

Where do your emotions ‘live’?

Imagine a life without  emotions. No happiness, no sadness, no anger, no fear.  It’s hard to even fathom, as emotions are such a taken-for-granted part of everyday life. But have you ever stopped to think about where these emotions come from?

That’s a complex question and it has intrigued scientists for decades. Thanks to advances in neuroscience, psychology and  technology, we now have a better understanding of the brain’s role in generating and processing emotions. It  turns out, they don’t just come from one specific area of the brain.  Instead, different parts of the brain work together to create and regulate your emotions.

The amygdala, the insula and the periaqueductal gray are three key structures that play a significant role in emotional processing. The amygdala, located deep within your brain’s temporal lobe, is often referred to as the ‘fear centre’. It’s responsible for detecting potential threats and triggering fear responses.

 

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The insula, on the other hand, is involved in both physical and emotional awareness. It governs the powerful negative reaction you have to unpleasant smells or tastes – disgust. Neuroscientists believe that the insula creates links between your internal states, your feelings and your conscious actions.

The periaqueductal gray, located in your brainstem, also contributes to your emotional processing. It is involved in pain perception. Plus, it moderates your reactions to pain-reducing compounds like morphine and oxycodone. So it’s no surprise that it also plays a role in regulating fear and anxiety.

As we learn more about the brain’s role in emotions, we are also gaining a better understanding of how brain function can impact emotional responses. This has implications for emotional intelligence, mental health and even leadership.

If you’re intrigued and want to delve deeper into the captivating world of emotions and the brain, I recommend reading the source article here. Keeping up-to-date with the latest research helps broaden your knowledge and aids in creating effective strategies for emotional health and well-being.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

 

By Eleanor Shakiba Dynamic leadership 0 Comments

Inspire your team with positive provocation

We often talk about provocation as though it’s a  negative thing, but it can actually be a powerful tool for inspiring and motivating your team. By challenging the status quo and pushing boundaries, positive provocation can help create new ideas and drive change within your team. Let’s look at some interesting research about this intriguing concept and consider what it means for leaders and high achievers.

Positive provocation is a technique used to stimulate or challenge thinking constructively. Unlike negative provocation which aims to incite conflict or cause offense, positive provocation seeks to inspire and motivate. Psychologists have found that positive provocation can generate fresh perspectives and creative solutions to problems.

One study conducted by the University of Amsterdam looked at the effects of positive provocation in a team setting. The researchers divided participants into two groups – one group was exposed to positive provocation while the other was not. The results showed that those who were positively provoked demonstrated significantly higher levels of creativity and innovation compared to the control group. This supports the idea that positive provocation can be a powerful tool for unlocking untapped potential within teams.

 

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This finding is supported by a study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology, which emphasises the importance of appreciative team building. By focusing on the strengths and positive qualities of each team member, this approach fosters a supportive and empowering environment for collaboration and growth.

So, how exactly can you harness the power of positive provocation at work? It all starts with creating an open and inclusive space. Encourage team members to ask “what-if” questions and explore unconventional ideas. Here are five more questions to experiment with:

  1. What are the benefits of this problem?
  2. Let’s ditch the standard assumption that…is true. What does that mean for us?
  3. If …was not a problem, what would it be?
  4. If the opposite of what you’ve said is true, what possibilities could arise?
  5. What bold action would you take if there were no limits or consequences?

Remember, positive provocation is not about stirring up conflict or causing tension but rather inspiring creativity. Positive provocations have the power to transform your team’s dynamics, sparking creativity and collaboration. Backed by robust research, these thought-provoking questions unlock new perspectives and generate innovative strategies. Embrace the “what-if” mindset and watch as your team’s excitement and commitment soar to new heights.

Read the original article here from Psychology Today.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

 

By Eleanor Shakiba TLS services Coaching 0 Comments

Be a bold, self-assured leader

Leadership is tough. Sometimes you need support. This is where coaching comes in. Leadership coaching deals with the real stuff. You focus on YOUR needs. You beat the issues that are holding your back. Book a free discovery call with to learn more here.

By Eleanor Shakiba Dynamic leadership 0 Comments

3 unconventional ways to show leadership potential (and get that promotion)

Want to stand out as an emerging leader? Then stop behaving like everyone else!  Real leaders aren’t scared to be different; in fact, they embrace it. They understand that being unique and authentic are key to creating a lasting impact. However, most of us are socialised to do exactly the opposite. This means that to stand out as an emerging leader, you need to break the mould in positive ways. For example, resist the temptation to be a Lone Ranger. Sure, it’s a common misconception that managers must cope alone.

With this in mind, here are my top tips for showcasing your leadership acumen – even before you get that first leadership role!

Tip 1: Be a (leadership) team player

No-one becomes a great leader without mentors, collaborators and inspiring peers. Right from the get-go, think of yourself as a member of the leadership team.  Collaborate. Ask questions. Listen to others’ ideas. And connect with people outside of your department or industry – you can’t think outside the box if you stay in it!

Tip 2: Embrace the power of positive deviance

Remember this: chameleons don’t stand out. Being a ‘positive deviant’, on the other hand, will set you apart. Positive deviants are people who challenge the status quo in a constructive way, driving innovation and change. So, don’t be afraid of going against the grain – that’s where real leadership is shown. Be the person who makes a difference, because then you’ll show you can be a leader who makes a difference!

 

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Tip 3: Swap politics for courageous conversations

Early in your career, it might be tempting to become a yes-person. Stop right there! As an emerging leader, it’s crucial to voice your opinions and challenge the status quo. However, this doesn’t mean being confrontational. Instead, have courageous conversations – those that are honest, respectful and solution-focused. This will demonstrate your assertiveness and emotional intelligence. In combination, these two traits are way more powerful than any skill in political manoeuvring.

So, what are you waiting for? Start standing out and making an impact as an emerging leader today! Remember, being different is a strength, not something to hide. Embrace it, be authentic and lead from within – the rest will follow.

This article was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer and success coach. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.  Since discovering her passion for training and development, Eleanor has trained more than 60,000 people. She delivers face-to-face workshops for corporates, online masterclasses for leaders and Positive Psychology retreats for trainers, HR practitioners and leaders. 

 

 

 

By Eleanor Shakiba Impact Interesting Articles 0 Comments

This is why you can’t do more than 2 things at a time

If you believe working on twenty goals at once makes you productive, think again. Recent research shows that your brain can’t focus on more than two goals at a time.  Indeed, it works most efficiently when you only have one goal in mind. This is because your brain  allocates resources to every goal you’re working on. The more you take on, the less resources can be assigned  to each goal. Here’s how neuroscientists found this out.

They tracked the brain activity of 32 people who were working on complex tasks. In the first stage of the experiment,  participants were given a letter-matching task. All the letters were in lowercase at this stage.  MRI scans showed that both sides of the volunteers’ brains were working in harmony to get the job done during this phase of the experiment.

Next, the researchers added more complexity to the sorting task. The participants now had to deal with both uppercase and lowercase letters. Now the volunteers’ brains split the work, with each task being processed by a separate side of the brain. Put simply, each hemisphere was chasing its own goal and reward.

 

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Finally, a third task was thrown into the mix. Now the participants consistently forgot one of their tasks and made three times as many errors. So, it seems that human brains can’t effectively juggle more than two tasks. As one of the researchers put it when you work on more than two goals, “Your prefrontal cortex will always discard one.”

So, what does this mean for you? One obvious  lesson is to limit the number of goals you work on at any one time. Having a long list of tasks might feel productive, but it’s not sustainable in the long run. Instead, try focusing on just one or two goals at a time, and give them your undivided attention until they are complete. If you’re a professional, this means prioritising your projects and deadlines and not taking on more than you can handle. If you’re a manager, it means changing your expectations and considering the brain’s limits  when assigning tasks to your team.

The bottom line is this. Multitasking may seem like a great idea, but in reality, it can decrease efficiency and lead to more errors. It is wiser to single-task.  By focusing on one goal at a time, your brain can allocate all of its resources to that task, leading to better results and less stress. So next time you feel tempted to take on multiple goals at once, remember the research and focus on one thing at a time for optimal productivity. Your brain will thank you.

You can read the original article here.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

By Eleanor Shakiba Credibility interesting articles 0 Comments

Want more influence? Here are 4 research-backed ways to get it

Do you want to increase your influence and impact? Then you might be interested in a recent article in the International Small Business Journal. It explains four language strategies that successful entrepreneurs use to  increase their influence. These are all research-based, so  you know they are effective.

  1. Help your listener fill in the blanks

According to the article, influential entrepreneurs often leave room for their listeners’ imaginations to fill in details when they’re describing the future. This works because it  allows the listeners to create their own mental images and become invested in the idea or plan. As a result, they are more likely to support it.

  1. Turn imagination into reality

Researchers discovered that successful pitches frequently describe an idea as though it already exists.  For example, an entrepreneur might say  “This is how we’re revolutionising communication” instead of  “This idea could revolutionise communication” By using this strategy, the entrepreneur is presenting the idea as a reality and showing confidence in its potential success. This can be very persuasive to investors and other stakeholders.

  1. Show you understand their needs

The study of successful entrepreneurs found that they establish connections between their ideas and the needs of their audience. From this, you can learn the value of understanding stakeholders’ needs and showing that you understand  them. This will make you more credible and build trust, ultimately increasing your influence.

 

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  1. Use concrete examples

The article also emphasises the importance of using concrete examples to illustrate your ideas. This helps to make abstract concepts more relatable and tangible for listeners, making it easier for them to understand and support your ideas. Additionally, using real-life examples can help to establish credibility and demonstrate the potential success

  1. Power up with data

The study revealed that persuasive entrepreneurs are very selective about the data they use to support their arguments. They handpick evidence to  align with their main message. Plus, they only use small amounts of data to avoid overwhelming their audience. This highlights the importance of using data strategically to back up your ideas and make a stronger case for them.

To delve deeper into this fascinating study and learn more about the impact of high-impact language, read the original article here.

This article summary was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer, success coach and people skills expert. She helps managers and business owners build thriving teams and organisations, using tools from Positive Psychology. She's trained more than 60,000 people during her career as a corporate trainer and professional development consultant. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference. 

 

 

By Eleanor Shakiba Confidence tips 0 Comments

Why imposter syndrome is a problem for high achievers

Have you ever wondered why so many high achievers have low confidence? Or why imposter syndrome seems to be the flipside of talent? Well, there’s a simple explanation.  The very traits that propel talented professionals towards success can also undermine confidence. For example, most high achievers have exceptional levels of self-discipline. But that can mean they never take breaks – which is a guaranteed way to burn out and destroy your confidence. In fact, I’ve seen so many talented professionals fall into this trap that I’ve made it my mission to help. That’s why I created the Complete Confidence Lab, which is enrolling now.

In the Complete Confidence Lab, I explain three paradoxical thinking patterns which can snare you in a cycle of imposter syndrome and low confidence. Do you relate to any of them? I sure do!

The competence myth

This is the belief that you can’t be confident unless you know how to do everything. Think about it. That’s an impossible standard to live up to. If you believe the competence myth, chances are you ‘re constantly comparing yourself to others and finding yourself lacking. Obviously, that’s one of the fastest ways to destroy your confidence. So, stop equating competence and confidence. They’re not the same thing.

 

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The control myth

Have you ever been told you’re too controlling? Or do you joke about being a control freak? If so, you’re probably under the spell of the control myth. This is the belief that being in control will make you feel confident.  But here’s the truth – nobody can control everything. Trying to do so will only lead to stress and anxiety, not confidence. It’s time to explore how genuinely self-assured people tackle life. Spoiler alert: it’s all about learning to thrive in uncertainty.

The high standards myth

Yikes. This one is tricky to beat. That’s because having standards is so strongly associated with success. And it’s true that high standards are great… up to a point. However, too much of a good thing can be damaging.  It leads to perfectionist overworking and constant self-criticism. Both of which feed imposter syndrome.

Do these thinking patterns sound familiar? If so, you’d be a great candidate for the Complete Confidence Lab. Check it out here and join me in breaking free from imposter syndrome and building lasting confidence.

This article was created by Eleanor Shakiba

Eleanor is a leadership trainer and success coach. Her mission is inspiring talented people to become leaders who make a difference.  Since discovering her passion for training and development, Eleanor has trained more than 60,000 people. She delivers face-to-face workshops for corporates, online masterclasses for leaders and Positive Psychology retreats for trainers, HR practitioners and leaders.